Thankful: The Trouble With Love
Elizabeth turned her head slightly, feeling consciousness start to wake her. The unfamiliar sheets and the uncomfortably chilled air started to formulate in her senses. Bright lights shined through her unprepared eyes and she blinked quickly.
The slight blip of the machine next to her told her where she was. The hospital.
Almost a second home to her now, she reflected. She wasn’t sure why, but she wasn’t frightened. Instead, memories of this place started to flood her thoughts.
She had come there to volunteer when she first hit Port Charles. Her grandmother worked there and so had her sister. She came here to see Gail Baldwin in search of some semblance of stability at one time. She had been here after the car accident that broke several friendships and balances in her life. She nearly died that night, but she barely remembered anything about it. Then there was that one time. After feeling like she was dying inside for the first time since her rape, she had been sitting in a hospital bed like this one.
She didn’t like to think about it. Elizabeth looked to the door. Something inside her waited expectantly. A face, a person, something she was waiting for. Her mind wouldn’t let her understand. She didn’t know what this confusion in the pit of her stomach meant.
Then the door opened. A friend, a friend who used to be more, a friend who used to be everything to her. A friend who wasn’t anymore.
"Elizabeth," he said, closing the door behind him as he entered the room. "How are you feeling?"
She looked at him for a moment. It had been a long time since she had looked at Lucky Spencer and remembered how much he had changed her life. "Hi," she smiled softly.
"I’ll take that as a ‘I’m fine Lucky but I don’t really mean it’," he laughed softly.
She smirked. "No, I’m okay. I feel okay. Nothing hurts or aches. Just a little tired."
"Elizabeth, do you know why you’re here?" Lucky asked.
"No," she admitted. "Did I get shot? Get in a car accident?"
Lucky didn’t laugh. "No, you fainted at Kelly’s today. Bobbie and Courtney rushed you here."
"Courtney?" Elizabeth asked.
Lucky nodded. "They said you were just standing there, putting away some jars and suddenly they heard a crash and found you on the floor in the backroom."
"Oh," Elizabeth said.
"What is it that is making me think this wasn’t just because you missed breakfast?" Lucky asked.
Elizabeth felt an overwhelming sense of sadness fall over her as she stared at the glistening diamond on her hand. "Can I tell you a secret, Lucky?"
Love can be a many splendored thing
Can't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses
Diamond rings
"Sure," Lucky acknowledged. "What is it?"
"I think I’m losing my mind," she confessed.
"What? You seem fine to me," Lucky said.
She stared off in the distance. "That’s the problem. You used to be the one person who understood. Who knew me for who I was. And then you died and what I believed in died with you. When you came back, it wasn’t the same anymore. I changed, you changed, we grew up. It’s like I lost something and I can’t seem to get it back."
"Elizabeth," he began. He knew what she meant. He felt that piece missing from his life too. But he was beginning to find it again with the help of the people who cared about him. "I’ll always be there for you. Even if we aren’t together like we used to be, I’ll always be your friend."
Elizabeth flinched. "When I was with you, you were all I needed. I thought love was everything and being in love was like heaven. It was my salvation. And I won’t deny it. It saved me from dying inside."
Lucky looked at her solemnly. Something was definitely burned out in Elizabeth’s eyes. Lucky felt guilty for not noticing it before.
"But that’s the problem. Once it was over, I lost that crutch that you had given me. I thought you made me whole again, but really, you just gave me something to lean on while I healed. The problem is, you took it away . . . too fast," Elizabeth told him.
Lucky felt that burning sensation in the pit of his stomach. He hated to see Elizabeth like this. He hated that he couldn’t bring back that feeling that they had shared. He hated that he abandoned her.
Dreams for sale
And fairy tales
"It was like a dream come true, something out of a book, you know?" Elizabeth reminisced. "The worst thing that had ever happened to me brought me love, real love for the first time in my life."
Lucky listened, not knowing what to say to respond to the distance in Elizabeth’s voice.
"But see, that’s the problem with fairy tales. They aren’t real . . . they end and not always happily," Elizabeth continued.
It’ll make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind
It’ll fool you every time
Elizabeth shifted slightly on the hospital bed and sat up straight. "See this ring? It reminds me of the promises we made in that church," she smiled sadly, showing him the gem on her finger. "I remember when you came back, I thought everything would just suddenly be okay again. You would come back and we could pick up where we left off. I let my memories of love blind me to the fact that we weren’t right anymore. I couldn’t see that you weren’t the solution to that emptiness. You weren’t the same person."
Lucky nodded. "I know," he said sadly. "I’m sorry."
"Don’t be," Elizabeth interjected. "I don’t think even the boy who found me in the park could have filled that space you left behind. That hole had already been filled by the time you came back."
Lucky looked up in surprise. He knew what she was referring to and although it bothered him that a thug could mean that much to this woman sitting on that hospital bed, he couldn’t deny the truth. The truth that was still true even now.
"But that hole came back, bigger than before, and this time I swore I wouldn’t give into it. I would never let anyone hurt me again. Because if I let someone in, they would just rip out my heart again, and I wasn’t going to do that," Elizabeth said, quickly changing the subject.
The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
Lucky smiled. "But you did," he replied, pointing to the ring on her finger.
Elizabeth felt tears prickle and she started to remember why she was in that hospital bed in the first and why she had fainted. But she didn’t want to remember. So she rambled on. "I-I let love make me blind to the truth before. Funny thing, after that, I let it make me believe a lie the second time."
"You’re talking about Jason?" Lucky asked.
Elizabeth pretended she hadn’t heard his name. He couldn’t exist in her mind anymore. No, because if she let him in her head, how could she stop him from burying himself deeper into her? "Then Ric happened. I was so careful with Ric. Built up all the right walls, kept him at arm’s length, the whole nine yards. Even after you and I ended, I didn’t shield myself like I had done to Ric."
Lucky knew why but he also knew Elizabeth was hedging the memories.
"So when he slipped through, I just let myself admit to it. I let go of my pride and decided I didn’t want to be alone anymore. I didn’t want to be the girl people felt sorry for. Ric didn’t treat me like some precious doll and he opened up to me. He told me things he didn’t want anyone else to know. He let me think that I had somehow made him a better man."
Lucky could hear the undercurrent of anger in Elizabeth’s voice. "What happened?"
The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all
"I was fooled into believing in love again. I thought that if I could just be in love again, everything would be okay. I wouldn’t be the one left behind. It’s funny how easy it was for my heart to answer to Ric’s lies," Elizabeth said. "I should have known. It was too soon and too fast to be real."
Elizabeth looked down in her lap and the glittering diamond stared back at her, mocking her for her stupidity. She pulled it off roughly and threw it against the door with all her strength and all her anger.
Lucky jumped slightly at Elizabeth’s sudden actions.
"Why don’t I EVER learn?!" she shouted. "I must have some kind of sign that tells people they can lie to me and get away with it. I’ll defend them with everything I have, fight for them and do anything for them. It’s so easy. Just sell me a lie and I’ll be your devoted little Elizabeth. Stupid, blind, pathetic Little Lizzie."
Lucky reached out for her, but she quickly withdrew. "Elizabeth, please, listen to me. You didn’t ask for anyone to lie to you. I know I hurt you and that was my fault, not yours. Whatever Jason did, he DID, not you. And as for Ric, I don’t know the whole story, but he was the one using you. Don’t blame yourself."
Now I was once a fool it’s true
I played the game by all the rules
"I don’t understand. Why am I not enough? Doesn’t my loyalty, my love, my trust, doesn’t that count for anything? I did everything the right way this time. I didn’t make any demands for full disclosure. I found someone who wouldn’t let me walk away. I even found a man who could tell me how he felt," Elizabeth said. She sighed. "I just couldn’t make him put me first."
Lucky touched Elizabeth’s now bare hand. "You deserve better, Elizabeth. You deserve someone who will love you as much as you love them."
But now my world’s a deeper blue
I’m sadder but I’m wiser too
"I should have been smarter," she said, pulling back her hand. "I should have seen through him. I used to be an expert on liars, hell, I was one of the best. But after . . . well I just lost that part of me. The part of me that knew better."
"Elizabeth, that’s not true. You have always been a fighter and you still are. You’ll get through this," Lucky encouraged.
"Yes, because even though I keep losing, each time, I get stronger because I’ll remember. I’ll remember what went wrong and I won’t make that mistake again," Elizabeth replied.
I swore I’d never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn’t worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name
Lucky tilted his head in concern. This cynical and untrusting side of Elizabeth scared him. She didn’t trust herself and that scared him even more.
Elizabeth laughed coldly. "Who am I fooling? I keep saying I’ll know better next time, but I still . . . I still end up with a broken heart and nothing to show for all the lies I believed. Why is that, Lucky? Why can’t I change?"
Everytime I turn around
I think I've got it all figured out
My heart keeps on callin'
And I keep on fallin'
Over and over again
Lucky’s jaw tightened as he saw the light in Elizabeth’s eyes die out suddenly. "You shouldn’t have to change. You are beautiful and wonderful just the way you are."
Elizabeth choked out a snort. "You may think that, but what has it gotten me? I’m not any smarter. I keep falling for the same line over and over again. I keep letting myself be the dispensable person in the relationship. I give my heart and all I get in return are empty promises and broken hopes."
This sad story always ends the same
Me, standing in the pouring rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two
"I loved you and lost you to my sister. Who you ended up not even staying with for very long. I mean, it took so little for the first great love of my life to end," she laughed bitterly. "Then there was Jason. One little lie, a little test of how strong we were together and it all fell apart . . . if it ever existed at all. Now, Ric, the best sob story of all. Elizabeth Webber, three times the fool. Fell for a man who can rape another woman and tell me he loves me while I make love to him."
A brilliant chill ran down Lucky’s spine. That tone in Elizabeth’s voice was like a ghost, a sound from a reality far from that hospital room.
"You wanna know what the trouble with love is, Lucky?" Elizabeth asked suddenly.
He decided to humor her, afraid that saying the wrong thing would send her flying off the edge she was teetering on. "What is it, Elizabeth?"
Elizabeth felt the tears fill her eyes and she started to tremble in the bed. "I’m tired, Lucky. Can we talk tomorrow?"
Lucky stood up slowly. "Sure, Elizabeth. You get some rest. We can talk some more tomorrow."
Elizabeth nodded as her eyes dropped shut.
Lucky walked to the door, giving Elizabeth one last sad glance. His dearest friend was falling slowly into the abyss and he didn’t know if he was enough to save her. Not this time.
"Lucky," she called out.
"Yeah, Elizabeth?" Lucky asked.
"The trouble with love is, it’s a lie you never stop believing," she answered.
Lucky nodded. "Even if it is, I don’t want to stop believing in it. We had it once and it was more than I ever imagined. I can’t think that I’ll never have it again. Living wouldn’t be worth it."
Elizabeth looked sadly at her friend. "Good night, Lucky."
"Good night, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth Webber sat silently on her bed, wondering if she would ever find the strength to get out of it with her dignity intact. After that conversation with Lucky, she realized that a major change would be needed in her life. She could no longer be the easy target. Her heart and her soul could no longer handle that kind of pain. Especially in her condition.
Miss Independent
Miss Self-Sufficient
Miss "Keep your distance"
She needed to separate herself from the things that caused her heartache. She needed to do it for the life growing inside of her. She wasn’t sure, but her body told her she was right. She had been feeling slightly off for the past week, and after the fainting spell, she was almost definite. She promised to get herself a pregnancy test on the way home.
Elizabeth quickly changed into her normal clothes and slipped quietly out into the hall. The hospital was pretty empty at this hour. Just sleeping patients and nurses on the late shift. Barely anyone looked in her direction and she liked it that way.
As she walked down the corridor, she saw the brightly-lit receptionist desk and approached slowly.
"Elizabeth? What are you doing out of bed?" Amy Vining questioned the younger woman.
"I want to check myself out," Elizabeth explained.
Miss Unafraid
Miss "Out of my way"
Miss "Don't let a man interfere"
"You are in no condition to leave. We haven’t been able to get the full results of all your tests and you look sick still," Amy sputtered.
"If you won’t check me out, I’ll find someone who will," Elizabeth said impatiently.
"Look, Elizabeth, let me call Bobbie, or Lucky. I am sure he’ll come down and pick you up right away," Amy insisted.
"No, I am leaving here right now, WITHOUT Lucky," Elizabeth demanded. She didn’t need Lucky to help her. If she let Lucky help her, she might fall into that pattern again and she wouldn’t do it. She wouldn’t risk her chance at true peace.
Miss On Her Own
Miss Almost-Grown
Miss Never Let A Man Help Her Off Her Throne
"Elizabeth?" a female voice called out from behind her.
Elizabeth turned to find her friend, or former friend, smiling at her. Emily looked worried. "Hi, Em. What are you doing here?"
"I should ask you the same thing," Emily said. "Did something happen? Is it Jason?"
Elizabeth flinched. "As you can see, Courtney’s not here."
Emily raised an eyebrow. "That’s not what I asked."
"What makes you think this has anything to do with Jason? We haven’t been a part of each other’s lives for months now. Not that you care," Elizabeth couldn’t help but say. She was tired of hiding her anger at Emily’s dismissal of their friendship. Elizabeth had lost too much that way.
"Elizabeth, I’m sorry," Emily said, realizing how much she hurt her friend by being so insensitive. "I just thought since Jason’s been missing these past few days, you might know something about it."
Elizabeth tried not to react. She really did, but it wasn’t like it was her choice. She had long given up the fight between her heart and her head.
"Are you going home?" Emily asked. "I can give you a ride."
Elizabeth hesitated. Slowly, she nodded her head, deciding that accepting help from Emily wasn’t the same as having a man hold her by the hand and rescue her like some poor pathetic damsel. "Sure."
As the two walked towards the automatic doors, Amy Vining quickly picked up the phone and called someone to tell them what had happened. She was always sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, but maybe this time was a good thing.
Elizabeth sat quietly in Emily’s car, hoping that her friend wouldn’t ask her to explain why she was at the hospital. To her relief, Emily didn’t say a thing. But that reminded Elizabeth that she still didn’t know why Emily was there. "What were you doing at GH, Em?"
Emily bit her lower lip. "I was there for a check up, that’s all."
Elizabeth could feel Emily’s discomfort and she knew her friend too well to accept that lie. "I’m sorry too, Emily. I haven’t really been around for you, either. Zander told me about your . . . well, your problem."
Emily slowed the car down and pulled over to the side of the road. Leaning against the steering wheel, she sighed. "He doesn’t know the truth."
Elizabeth forgot her problems for a moment as she saw the sadness in her friend’s face. "You can tell me or not tell me. It’s up to you."
Emily smiled through her sadness. "That’s why you’re such a great friend, Elizabeth. You don’t push. Like Jason."
Elizabeth turned to look out the window. "No, I just know what it’s like to not want to talk to anyone about personal issues."
"Then maybe you’ll hate me for asking this, but, why were YOU at GH? What happened?" Emily questioned.
So, by keeping her heart protected
She'd never, ever feel rejected
Little Miss Apprehensive
Said ooh, she fell in love
"I trusted someone I shouldn’t," Elizabeth said. "Story of my life."
"Who? Ric?" Emily asked.
Elizabeth nodded. "Partly. I just tried so hard to protect myself from being hurt again that I was blocking myself from all the wrong things. I thought if I could find someone who wouldn’t let me walk away and someone who would tell me his secrets, that would make everything right."
"Because that was what Jason couldn’t do for you, right?" Emily suggested.
Elizabeth didn’t answer, but Emily knew the truth. "But I failed. I fell in love with a man who was nothing but lies. With Jason, it was just that one lie that broke us. For Ric, he told me the truth about his business. Well, the truth that he WANTED me to know, and everything else was just lies and more lies. So I fell for it and I fell for him," she confessed.
"Can I ask what he did?" Emily said.
The scenery outside the car suddenly seemed incredibly compelling to Elizabeth. She was hedging and Emily could see it.
"Okay, we don’t have to talk about it," Emily tried to say.
What is this feelin' takin' over?
Thinkin' no one could open the door
Surprise!
It's time
To feel what's real
"No, I need to say this to someone," Elizabeth finally admitted. She knew that if she was going to be strong again, she had to face her fears instead of trying to find an excuse to run away. Like she had done with Jason.
Emily looked openly at Elizabeth, hoping her friend would confide in her. She missed their friendship more than she could admit. Especially in her condition.
"I thought that after Lucky died in that fire, I would never be myself again. I thought that everything ended with him, but I was wrong. I picked myself up and I grew stronger thanks to Jason. He helped me pick myself up instead of saving me like Lucky had after the rape," Elizabeth explained. "It wasn’t something I was looking for, but our friendship became more special than anything I ever had before. He cared about me and trusted me without any expectations. We weren’t in love and he wasn’t obligated to be there, but he was."
Emily nodded, smiling at the way Elizabeth spoke of her brother.
What happened to Miss Independent?
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye, old you
When love is true
"It was real, Em," she said. "I know it was. All the hurt and the anger turned into strength when I was with Jason. He believed in me and let me trust myself. He never questioned what I felt and even when he thought he was putting me in danger, he listened. He let me say what I needed to say and never told me I was wrong. At least not in the way other people do. Who I was before Jason came along disappeared completely. I was suddenly my own person who didn’t give in to everyone else. What we had, it was incredible."
Elizabeth’s admission brought tears to Emily’s eyes. She wished she had been there for Elizabeth, but she was so happy Jason gave so much to her friend.
Miss Got It Hard
Miss Play It Smart
Miss "If you wanna use that line, you better not start"
"After Jason left, I knew the place he filled in my heart could never be taken by anyone else. Not even Lucky who came back from the dead. I hurt him, you know. I really hurt him," Elizabeth confessed.
"Lucky?" Emily asked.
Elizabeth shook her head. "No, Jason. He had feelings for me and I ran away from him. Maybe because I knew if I let him in, I would end up hurting Lucky and losing that foundation I had built on what I thought love was. I played it smart, you know? I stayed with Lucky and pushed Jason away because Lucky was a place I knew. A place where I thought was safe. I wasn’t just afraid that Jason would hurt me, I was afraid of hurting him. Instead, it backfired and I kept running to him whenever things got hard and I was too weak to fight."
"You can’t blame yourself for that," Emily said. "I mean, it’s not like there is a rule book on how to act when your first love comes back from the grave."
"Then who can I blame? You weren’t there, Emily. You didn’t see the hurt in his eyes when I told him I didn’t want the freedom he wanted to show me. I don’t know why I turned away from him, maybe I was scared. I can’t help thinking how it would be different if I had left with him that day in April."
"What if’s aren’t what you need right now, Elizabeth," Emily advised. "You can’t change the past."
"I know. I asked Jason once if he ever thought about it and he said he didn’t," Elizabeth remembered. "He didn’t because I never told him ‘yes’."
Emily nodded, acknowledging her brother’s choice. Jason was always like that. He didn’t believe in regret.
But she miscalculated
She didn't wanna end up jaded
And this Miss decided not to miss out on true love
"I tried so hard to make things right. For Lucky and for Jason. I stayed loyal to Lucky and pushed Jason away to save him from the pain I knew it caused him to see me with someone else. But you can’t fight what you feel, you know? As much as your head tells you it’s the right thing, sometimes it’s wrong. I didn’t want to hurt and I ended up hurting more. If only I had the guts to go for what I wanted. Carly was right. I was a coward," Elizabeth said. "But this last summer I tried to fix that mistake. I decided to give in for what I felt and I told Jason I wanted to be with him. I thought we could have had something real, I thought I had found true love."
So, by changing her misconception
She went in a new direction
And found inside she felt a connection
She fell in love
Emily looked sadly at the broken dreams she saw written across Elizabeth’s face. Unlike Jason, Elizabeth knew how to feel regret and it seemed that it only caused Elizabeth more pain.
"I never told him I loved him," Elizabeth whispered, tears filling her eyes. "That whole time, I knew from the moment he looked at me that he was the man I loved, but I never said the words. I told him I cared for him but I was still so afraid. Afraid that I would hurt him again and he would run away without a goodbye like he did last time."
When Miss Independent walked away
No time for love that came her way
She looked in the mirror and thought today,
"What happened to Miss No Longer Afraid?"
Emily shifted in her seat, watching her friend’s every move. Elizabeth’s heart was open for the first time since Emily came back and she wasn’t going to miss a moment of it.
"But I risked it," Elizabeth began, wiping the stream of tears falling from her eyes. "I told him my fears and I told him how much he meant to me. Why did I think it was safe to open my heart? I had spent so much time running away and thinking I didn’t have to be afraid because I could hide from what I felt. With Jason, I let go of it all and look what it got me."
Emily reached out and put her hand on Elizabeth’s shoulder. "You made a choice and you can’t blame yourself. Putting yourself out there is better than hiding. You know that."
Elizabeth nodded. "For those few brief moments, I felt cared for and I thought we were on our way. I thought FINALLY, Elizabeth Webber did something right . . . I can’t believe how quickly it ended."
Emily stared at Elizabeth, hoping that the light in Elizabeth’s eyes would return. The sadness was unbearable. She had never seen someone look so empty before. Emily turned on the ignition and drove towards Elizabeth’s studio.
Elizabeth sighed. "Even if we never became more, I thought at least we would have that bond. That connection that Jason and I had created just disappeared. The hurt and the anger lasted for all of two days, but the damage lasted longer, maybe even forever."
It took some time for her to see
How beautiful love could truly be
No more talk of "Why can't that be me?"
I'm so glad I finally see . . .
"I messed up again, Emily," Elizabeth said. "I waited too long. Too much time had passed and what I tried to save had already slipped through my fingers. I keep telling people that Jason and I had never had anything, but I know that isn’t true. When we had it, it was everything. And when it was over . . . at least I knew I had something real, even though it was gone."
Emily smiled reassuringly. She was so relieved to hear Elizabeth sound at least slightly more comfortable with what had happened.
"I don’t regret it, not one moment. What he gave me changed me and I wouldn’t trade it for anything," Elizabeth said.
"Do you still love him?" Emily asked.
Elizabeth stared at her hand and that imprint of Ric’s ring on her finger reminded her what had happened. "I don’t know, Emily. I can’t trust what I feel anymore. I thought I loved Ric and maybe I did, but I can’t be sure. And it scares me."
Emily nodded. "You need time to sort things out. If you need anything, I hope you’ll come to me. I want to be the friend you deserve, Elizabeth."
"Me too," Elizabeth said. "For whatever reason you are going to the hospital, please tell me when you’re ready. I don’t know---"
Emily turned when Elizabeth ceased talking so suddenly. Then her eyes realized why Elizabeth was stopped cold.
"What is he doing here?" Elizabeth whispered.
Emily shook her head. "I don’t know. Maybe you should ask my brother."
Elizabeth bit her lower lip. It was too soon.
Elizabeth stepped out of the car slowly, unsure of herself and of him. What was he doing here? Did he come for more information about Ric? Because honestly, she was tired of hearing Ric’s past being thrown in her face and she didn’t know if she could handle it if Jason did it again.
She felt a little unsteady as she stood up on the pavement and then she remembered a pit stop she should have made on her way home. Looking down towards her stomach, she stopped. "Emily?"
"Yeah?" Emily replied, not seeing her quick glance downward.
"Can you wait here for a minute? I need you to drive me to the store," Elizabeth said.
Emily nodded, uncertain of Elizabeth’s reaction to Jason’s presence. "Of course."
"Thanks," Elizabeth said, grateful to her friend and the opening to escape if she needed. Emily was her getaway car and she had a feeling she might need to use that.
Jason had his hands in his pockets and he looked at her cautiously. She didn’t look bad, in fact she looked pretty damn good stepping out of Emily’s car. His gut told him that there was something seriously wrong and he kicked himself for not realizing it sooner.
"What are you doing here?" Elizabeth asked, leaving no emotion in her voice. Now was not the time to break down in front of Jason especially after her feelings felt so raw after that pain-filled confession she had made to Emily.
Everybody’s talking
But they don’t say a thing
"Courtney told me you fainted at Kelly’s and you were brought to GH," Jason answered.
"Gossiping about me already? Do Carly and Sonny know now?" Elizabeth snorted.
"Don’t be like that, Elizabeth. She was concerned and so she told me you were at the hospital," Jason tried to convince her.
"Then why are you here?" Elizabeth gestured to their surroundings.
"I hate hospitals and I knew you’d get out of there as soon as you could," Jason explained.
Elizabeth hated that he knew her so well. She sighed. "Well, you’ve seen me, you did your required concern routine, now you can go."
Jason grabbed Elizabeth’s arm gently, knowing that he deserved what she had said. He had lost her trust long ago, but he wasn’t going to lose her. "You don’t understand."
They look at me with sad eyes
But I don’t want their sympathy
"Sure I do," Elizabeth faced him. "You feel bad because I had a little spell of sickness and you came to check on me. Don’t worry, I’m fine and no, I have nothing to say to you. I don’t need your pity."
He looked at her with that sadness that always felt like a punch in the gut for Elizabeth. "I care about you Elizabeth. Whatever happened between us, I know you’re angry, but I don’t want you hurt and I can tell that you are."
Elizabeth looked away, not wanting to be vulnerable to Jason’s way of seeing through her. "No, I’m not angry, Jason, not anymore."
Jason looked at her in surprise. For some reason, the calm in her voice scared him more than the defensive anger.
It’s cool you didn’t want me
Sometimes you can’t go back
"I understand it. It just took me a while to get through it, but I did," Elizabeth said.
Jason clenched his fist. "For whatever it’s worth, I wish you didn’t get hurt in all this."
Elizabeth shook her head. "I’m tired of regrets, Jason. What happened, happened. I understand that too much had happened for us to survive. Sometimes you can’t go back to the way things were or try to fix things by making different choices. Once you make a choice that turns out to be a mistake, you can’t undo it."
Jason tilted his head, looking at her carefully. What did she mean? he wondered.
By why’d you have to go
And make a mess like that
Well I just have say before I let go
"I just have to ask you one thing," Elizabeth said.
He nodded, a feeling inside of him relieved that she still cared enough to ask.
"Why’d it have to end so badly for us? When I walked out, I thought you would fight for me and you didn’t. And I think I understand why you didn’t now but I didn’t then," Elizabeth said quickly. "I’m just sorry I dragged it out and made such a mess of things. The ending was so clean for you, but for me, I couldn’t let go, and for that, I’m sorry."
Jason stared at her in disbelief. "What are you trying to say, Elizabeth?"
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
"Have you ever done something you regretted, Jason? I mean, if you could regret. The way I acted after I found out about you and Courtney, I wish I had done things differently. I wish I could have walked away with my dignity," Elizabeth relented. "I don’t know why I held out the hope that you would fight for us, even if it meant fighting me."
"You left me Elizabeth, you told us we didn’t have a chance," Jason said. "All I did was believe you."
Elizabeth paused, taking in his words. It felt painful but she took it in slowly. She finally nodded. "I should have known you would react that way, but Jason, have you ever been low? Like really low?"
Jason raised an eyebrow. "I don’t know what you mean."
"Haven’t you ever had a friend that let you down? I mean, have you ever thought one thing about a person and have it turn out to be the total opposite? Someone who you trusted, not just with telling you the truth, but someone you trusted with your heart?" Elizabeth questioned.
Jason felt a pull in his stomach and his eyes started to water, realizing Elizabeth’s intentions. He nodded slowly. "I know."
Elizabeth turned away from him, knowing that if she looked at him, she wouldn’t have the strength to say what she needed to say.
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
‘Cause what you did was low
"Do you know how it felt when everyone who mattered to you was worthy of knowing about Sonny’s charade except for me?" Elizabeth asked. "I felt like I wasn’t important enough to be told the truth. I know you think it was business, but it was personal the moment you asked me to stay with you at the penthouse. The moment you tell someone that you promise to try, you just don’t walk out the door the next second. I never felt so alone as the moment after you told me you wanted to be with me."
Jason tightened his fist, fighting his need to reach out to her. He was beginning to understand how much pain he had caused her and why it hurt so badly for her to let go.
"I spent nights in that penthouse imagining every horrible thing you were going through and thinking that you were tucking all your emotions deep inside. I know what that’s like Jason. I know how it is to have someone you love and someone you care about suddenly die without any chance to really let it all out. You know how I got through it?" Elizabeth asked, not turning to look at him as she directed the question.
Jason didn’t respond, knowing that it wasn’t a question that required an answer from him.
"I had you," Elizabeth admitted. "So when you were going through what I thought was grief, I was afraid for you. I was afraid you would lash out and try and deal with Sonny’s killer while his death was so new and so raw. I was terrified that you would do something that would hurt yourself. I know you’re good at what you do, but you can feel too, Jason. I know pain affects you more than you let people believe. More than you WANT people to believe."
Jason felt his eyes stinging with the tears that never really fell when Elizabeth walked out his door. "Elizabeth," he whispered, finally giving into his need to reach out to her. His hand touched her shoulder and the shock it ignited through his skin surprised him. He had worked so hard to walk away and detach himself, but such a little gesture brought pain flooding back and the wound opened again.
"Don’t say that like you feel sorry now," Elizabeth said, the anger returning in her voice. "I may feel bad for being such a bitch after I found out about you and Courtney, but what you did was low, Jason. The way you lied to me was low. I said anyone could break a heart, but I never thought you’d do it with so much forethought and disregard for us."
"I never did it to hurt you," Jason argued.
"I know, you didn’t!" she spun around. "It wasn’t about ME, I remember! Don’t you understand that’s why it was so horrible? To hear you say something like that was like you ripped my heart out in one messy lie."
Jason looked at her in confusion.
Elizabeth sighed, trying to regain control of her emotions. "I know you don’t understand, and I don’t feel like holding your hand and explaining it to you right now, Jason. It’s over and I’ve accepted it, even if I took the long way here."
"It’s not over, Elizabeth. You still have me as a friend," Jason whispered, knowing that saying anything else would just push her farther away. "I want you to call me any time you need me. Whatever you’re going through, I know you are hurting and you don’t want my help, or at least you wouldn’t ask for it, but I’m here."
Jason was trying so hard to let her words hit him so he tried to change the subject. Unfortunately, that didn’t help.
No I don’t need your number
There’s nothing left to say
"You’re right, I don’t want your help. I won’t call you, not that you would be waiting by the phone for me. Where is this sudden compassion coming from, Jason? Is my situation calling out to your inner white knight or something? I can deal with this on my own, and frankly whatever I’m going through is none of your business," she mocked his choice of words.
Jason felt his heart flinch at her tone of voice. Things really had gotten this far. He had lost any chance at righting the wrong he had committed when he let her walk away.
Except I never thought it’d
Hurt this much to be saved
"You know, we didn’t last very long," Elizabeth reminisced. "Maybe it was better that it ended quickly, before either of us could have really been hurt. I saved us a lot of time by walking out, didn’t I?"
Jason didn’t answer and he didn’t call her on her lie even if he recognized it. He didn’t have that right.
Elizabeth faced him squarely and he could see the wet tears in her eyes. "I just never thought it would hurt this much to be saved."
My friends are outside waiting
I’ve gotta go
Jason reached out for her again but she stepped back and he had never felt so scared as that moment, seeing Elizabeth look at him that way. That mistrust and anger were so foreign to them before. Now it was all that he ever saw in her eyes.
"I have to go, Emily’s waiting for me," Elizabeth said quickly, feeling herself be so pulled in by the vulnerability in his eyes. No matter how angry she was or how wrong she knew he was, she still couldn’t erase the connection they shared. Maybe it would always be there, but she wasn’t going to let it win this time.
Jason watched as Elizabeth walked away. Seeing her back slowly moving away, he stopped her. "Wait, Elizabeth," he called out.
I walk out of this darkness
With no sense of regret
"No, Jason. All I’ve done is wait. Longer than I should have had to," Elizabeth replied over her shoulder. Sighing, she turned to face him. "I don’t regret waiting for you, but now I’m ready to move on. I am at peace with what happened between us and I know things would have ended anyway, no matter what choices you and I had made."
"What are you saying, Elizabeth?" Jason asked, confused.
"We were never meant to be," Elizabeth said.
"Won’t you even give me the chance to make it right?" Jason pleaded to her.
And I go with a clear conscience
We both know that you can’t say that
"You let me go a long time ago, Jason, and I decided that I am ready to do the same. I am going to walk away from this knowing that I gave it my best. I tried, Jason. We both know you can’t say the same," Elizabeth said sadly. It wasn’t accusatory, just disappointment.
"I-I’m sorry," Jason finally said. "I’m sorry I couldn’t see what I had done or what had gone wrong with us before you got hurt. I’m sorry we never got our proper chance. I made a mistake, Elizabeth."
This to show
For all the time I loved you so
Elizabeth laughed coldly at his words. He would never really understand what it meant to her for him to think they were a mistake. "So this is where we end up? A mistake, an error in judgment?" Elizabeth asked.
"That’s not what I meant," Jason fought. Why couldn’t he ever say anything right anymore?
"That’s not what you INTENDED, but it is what you MEANT, Jason, or you wouldn’t have said it," Elizabeth said. "I guess I’ll always have the memories to thank you for. I had someone who showed me freedom and someone who let me finally be the one to save myself. But I guess I have nothing to show for all the time I loved you."
Jason froze, hearing the words for the first time and not really believing he had heard them. Had she just said she loved him?
Elizabeth sighed. "Either way, it’s over, Jason. It was foolish of me to try and play this game with you. I should have let go the moment I walked out of the penthouse."
He finally found his voice and he replied, "You didn’t because you were willing to hold onto hope. I was the one who gave up."
"Well then I apologize for hoping," Elizabeth said.
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Jason didn’t understand. Why was Elizabeth saying these things? How could she tell him that she loved him, why now? Why hadn’t he realized it?
"Everyone told me that you were wrong for me and I guess I should have believed them. I wanted so badly to believe that what we had was enough and that the fact that I loved you was enough," Elizabeth explained. "I guess they were right."
Did she tell them that she loved him? Why was he the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
‘Cause what you did was low
"I hurt you and you hurt me," Elizabeth said. "I guess that’s all I can really say about us. It took some time for me to understand and it’ll take more time for me to really accept it, but at least I realize why you did what you did. You really don’t see how much you hurt me and I don’t know if I should hold that against you."
He never felt more like scum than he did at that moment. All that time she had loved him and he had taken her for granted. Now he couldn’t remember his reasons for keeping her in the dark.
"You weren’t the man I wanted you to be," Elizabeth said. "The man I had in my head would never have let me go so easily. Maybe it’s selfish, but I deserve better than that, Jason."
"I know you do," Jason whispered. She didn’t deserve someone who would do something so low. Someone who didn’t see the pain he caused her.
"I let myself be holed up in your penthouse, I fought the whole way to be someone important in your life. I cared about you and tried to tell you that I wanted you to confide in me," Elizabeth confessed. "I’m tired, Jason."
Jason felt the tears welling up in his eyes and any moment, he would fall off the edge.
"I know I yelled at you for coming here, but it’s my defense mechanism," Elizabeth explained.
"Oh," Jason said, managing to say just that.
Elizabeth felt tears in her eyes and she wasn’t sure why. Or maybe she did know. The old Jason would have known that about her. He would have known that she said things out of anger. But she had to realize that Jason was gone. "Goodbye, Jason."
Jason nodded. Letting her go would be the best thing he ever did for her, he thought. But as she walked to Emily’s car he knew he was no longer that man who would do what was best for Elizabeth.
That man would have pushed her away to protect her. That man would have made her understand that his life was too dangerous. That man would have understood that he only brought her pain and made her cry. But he wasn’t that man anymore. He couldn’t just let her go.
Thankful: Some Kind Of Miracle
Jason parked his bike in the basement parking garage and stalked up the steps towards his penthouse. He wasn’t exactly sure what just happened, but even the bike ride towards the bridge didn’t help. He was halfway there when a flash of Elizabeth’s tear filled face sent him right back home. Maybe he was afraid to go to a place where a memory lived.
Prayed for an angel
To come in the night
And shine some sweet light on me
The look on Elizabeth’s face as she confessed everything destroyed a part of him that he never knew was there. He thought he’d never feel this kind of pain again after Robin betrayed him, but he was wrong. The raw ache in his heart told him so.
He thought of going to Jake’s but it was haunted too. One night at Jake’s had changed his life and he hadn’t even realized it. Her expressive eyes, her devotion to the boy who had died in that fire and her fierce, but suppressed desire to grieve drew him to her. He hadn’t gone to Jake’s that night thinking that he would find his soulmate.
A meeting in the park, a few encounters on the docks, small conversations about art and the meaning of family and suddenly he had gained a kindred spirit for a friend. He clenched his fist, realizing how long it had taken him to realize how much she had touched him. Her passionate defense of him to Lieutenant Taggert showed him her ability to care and the strength of her loyalty. The careful way she explained her art to him and the way she related her own life to him showed him her compassion. It had never occurred to him how these little things started to fill the gaps in his heart.
He told her once that he could only repay her friendship with pool lessons and motorcycle rides. She had quickly refused him that belief. She told him how she treasured the person he was. She explained that the way he listened and helped her mattered. He never thought that letting someone live their life the way they wanted could mean so much. Elizabeth made him understand.
Probably one of his fondest memories of their friendship was the dance they shared at Kelly’s. He had tried to help her not miss Lucky so much, but he knew she couldn’t replace Lucky with him. What amazed him was that she didn’t even want to. She accepted that he was someone who could be there for her without any demands of more. It was so effortless to care about Elizabeth back then. And it seemed so easy for her to watch out for him too.
Found only strangers
Then you came to me
His world turned upside down the night he danced with her. He had given her the wise advice that things happen fast but you have to live through them real slow. He never knew it would work against him.
The woman he loved had done the worst thing she could do because of a misunderstanding and the man he depended on for solid ground had betrayed him. He couldn’t make sense of his world anymore. The people he used for balance and stability suddenly became people he didn’t know anymore. He had nowhere to go and no one to turn to. He just gave up and collapsed into the snow, thinking that his life was over.
Lucky for him, he had Elizabeth. Somehow, she found him and comforted him back to life.
Just when I’d given up, you gave me love
My world was tumbling down
You turned it around baby
He remembered cans of soup, travel books, globes, a tiny Christmas tree and above all, a young woman who had fought everyone to keep him safe. She had alienated her family and friends, sacrificed their trust just so he could heal. He could never understand what made her do that. What did he do to deserve the devotion Elizabeth so willingly gave to him?
You, you’re some kind of miracle
You are, you’re a miracle to me
He asked for answers when he collapsed in the snow and God had sent him an angel to bring him home. Home was not to the penthouse at Harborview Towers, but the life that he knew but no longer trusted. She gave him the time and protection he needed to find himself again and she never asked for anything in return.
How could he have forgotten their past so quickly? How could he have let her slip away without telling her how much she had saved him?
Sweet revelation
That look in your eyes
Your touch in the night
When he had realized that he had fallen in love with her it was too late. She had found her first love and he could see how badly she wanted to have her life with Lucky back again. He had been by her side when she had suffered through the loss of it before. He understood how important this man was to Elizabeth and Jason had walked away. But the second time, he just couldn’t.
Partly because he began to see that she shared those emotions with him, he allowed himself to feel for her as more than just a friend. He kept it quiet but he knew he wouldn’t lie if she asked him. And she did.
He told her how he felt, sort of. He offered his hand and a life away from what she hated. He wanted to take her away from modeling, photographers and good intentions. He knew she was suffering, but he also knew she had to make the choice for herself.
When she said no, he had felt a loss like no other. He had never wanted to be anything but himself until she said no that night. He suddenly wished he was someone she wanted, someone she would take a risk with and someone she loved. But that never happened and he would never share a dance with Elizabeth again.
I find the sweetest salvation
In your arms baby
Elizabeth stared at the object in her hand. Her hand was trembling furiously and she couldn’t do anything to calm it. Safe inside the solid walls of her studio, Elizabeth collapsed on the couch.
She looked up at the ceiling and thanked God for helping her up the stairs to her apartment. She knew that she didn’t have the strength to do it on her own. Elizabeth didn’t realize what a huge event this was when she told Emily to drop her off at the local grocery store. She didn’t let the fears hit her until she was standing there, staring at the pregnancy tests lining the shelf.
The little sticks in those boxes would determine the rest of her life. It seemed too small for a change so big.
Elizabeth had quickly done the test when she got home, but her mind was elsewhere. The results were surely written there by now, but Elizabeth wasn’t ready to face it. She still had to get over the blow of realizing that Jason and her were over.
No romance, no destiny, no friendship . . . just an emptiness where love used to live.
Elizabeth kept asking herself where it had all gone wrong. She thought that when they made promises to each other, that would be it. She would finally have done something right. The man whose arms were wrapped around her offered her freedom and she used that freedom to choose him this time. Why wasn’t that enough?
She just kept questioning herself because she never expected it to end this way. She had spent three years believing in the strength of their friendship and the moments they shared. Jason could never be replaced in her heart, but it seemed she could be replaced in his.
Warm as the morning sun, your tender love
Came and just lifted me up
Look what you’ve done baby
She had spent the last year before Jason’s return believing lie after lie and letting herself slip away. Her grasp on her identity faded away when he wasn’t there. When he came back, she felt like she was saved.
But he kept pushing her away. Partly because she had slept with Zander and partly because he was afraid of hurting her with his life. When they were friends, he had tried that road before. He knew she wouldn’t back down and they both got past it. He let their friendship live on despite the circumstances. She guessed that when things started to change between them, that old solution didn’t apply anymore.
Elizabeth’s memories of that cold spring still haunted her. She thought she had seen love in Jason’s eyes when he leaned in to kiss her. She had pushed him away, knowing that he would be hurt if he chose to be with her, but deep inside she knew she was scared. He made her feel things she shouldn’t have because Lucky was back. Her first love had returned and she had no right changing her mind about the one true thing that had ever happened to her.
She learned that spring that the truth isn’t absolute. Love can end and people can change. She could have feelings for someone who wasn’t her first love and she could need someone who was supposed to be just a friend. What had he done to her that changed her so deeply? She didn’t really know the answer to that, she just knew what "was" and what "is" were not the same anymore. She knew she couldn’t run anymore.
That was the reason her feelings of pain over Lucky’s betrayal had been so easily healed. She already knew long ago that they were never meant to be. Even better, Jason coming back in her life at just the right time was like some kind of miracle.
That night at her studio after she found out the truth, it was so easy for her lose herself in him. Or, more accurately, find herself in him. Only a few brief moments and the strength inside of her started flaming brightly. She could smile and laugh and feel okay about her own feelings. It was so easy when she was with him.
You brought joy to my heart
I found love in your arms
See what you’ve done to me
It almost scared her because her feelings for him hadn’t faded with time or distance. She still loved him and he could still touch her heart more than anyone else could. He could look at her a certain way or tilt his head a certain way and suddenly she felt like she was the only person that mattered. He had a way about him.
She made mistake after mistake that summer, but he somehow understood. He didn’t hate her and that was more than she could have expected. Then she began her pursuit. He kept pushing and she kept pushing back. She wasn’t about to give up the beauty she felt when he held her or the fire that burned inside of her each time their lips met.
She couldn’t give up her soulmate.
You set my soul so free
You came and you gave me the love that I need
For one brief wrinkle in time, she had love at her fingertips. He looked into her eyes and made her believe that they had made it. They had survived his life and her mistakes. The gap between them had finally been crossed . . . only to be ripped to shreds by a lie.
It was funny, she hadn’t even seen it coming. Even when she walked out of the door, she didn’t realize it was over. It was almost like it had just been a dream. The way he felt for her and the love she felt for him felt surreal each time she saw him walk away. Marrying Brenda and then moving in with Courtney made him into a stranger she didn’t even want to know anymore.
She held onto hope and maybe that was her mistake. She didn’t think she had to be told that they were over. When she finally confronted Jason and Courtney about their tryst, she was slapped in the face with the truth. Not only did he not care that she had been waiting for him, but he wanted her to protect them. He knew she wouldn’t betray him, but he was almost cruel to ask her to keep their secret.
Everything Elizabeth believed in tumbled down that night and all she could feel was pain. She masked that pain with anger and let herself fall into that pattern again. She let herself be angry at the world and lose herself in that. That’s when Ric came along.
Ric Lansing was smooth as they come. He held her at arm’s length and then pulled her in when it was convenient. He played on her weaknesses and he used her hurt over Jason for his own purposes. Elizabeth had her suspicions, but she was rebelling so much against the person she was with Jason, that she let herself be pushed into what Ric wanted for them.
She fell in love with the man Ric wanted her to believe he was. She defended him, fought for him and lied for him. Things she used to do for Jason. Maybe it was spiteful or maybe it was a way to fix her past mistakes. She wasn’t sure. Either way, she wasn’t doing what she wanted; she was doing what Ric tricked her into believing she wanted.
She wanted to save someone and Ric was the perfect victim. Maybe she used him too. She protected him against the people who wanted him dead, not knowing that he probably deserved their wrath. All she remembered was the happiness she felt when she had fought against Sonny and Carly and her family and friends for Jason. The strength of being the protector instead of the protected was what she had needed. She didn’t want to be thought of as a delicate flower because she knew that would be a reason for her to be pushed away again.
Then the truth of Ric’s puppetry and lies smashed Elizabeth’s world into dust. She had trusted a man who could rape another woman and she had lied to protect him. Everyone saw her as a fool and Ric proved them right.
Elizabeth felt a tear stream down her cheek as she remembered the last thing she had seen before she walked into work at Kelly’s. The last thing she had seen before collapsing and being sent off to GH.
It was funny the things you can see when you take a shortcut by the docks. Elizabeth had no reason to take that shortcut except she had the sudden urge to do it. You could call it fate, but Elizabeth was beginning to think it was retribution for her own ignorance.
On the bench of the pier were a blonde woman and the man Elizabeth was engaged to. She didn’t want to believe her eyes at first but Elizabeth knew what they were doing.
She couldn’t get herself to move. She was frozen in hurt and anger. She didn’t know why she forced herself to stand there and watch, but she didn’t turn away or walk back up the steps. Instead, she watched their movements and let the noises of their activities bounce inside the walls of her head. She watched until they finished.
They smiled at each other, straightened themselves out and walked back into the shadows. The deadness of her eyes would have startled anyone who could see her. But no one was there. Just Elizabeth, the fool who got played by a mobster wannabe and his mistress.
Staring again towards the stick facing downward on her desk, Elizabeth wiped away the tears. What happened could not be changed and Elizabeth was tired of regrets. If she could walk away from Jason, she could face this.
Lifting the stick, she felt her heart stop at the results. It was a + symbol. She was pregnant with Ric Lansing’s child.
You, you’re some kind of miracle
You are, you’re a miracle, a miracle to me
Baby you are, a miracle to me
Elizabeth stared down at her stomach with a tear-stained face. Patting her stomach, she whispered slowly, "I guess I should welcome you to the world, huh? It’s not the best place to be right now, but I promise you that it will be better by the time you’re ready to join me. I will protect you and love you. I will make sure that you will have everything I never had and that you will never feel alone. Not ever."
Elizabeth brushed her palm against her stomach, realizing that there was a life growing inside of her. "I don’t care who your father is or how he hurt me. You will never be touched by him or the things he did to me. You are a miracle and I will love you forever, starting this very moment."
Elizabeth leaned back on the couch and rested her head against her hands. "It’s just you and me, baby. I’m ready if you are."
Jason wandered around the docks of Port Charles, a weight seeming to drag his feet ever so slightly. Anyone who didn’t know him would just think he was on the prowl for an enemy of Sonny’s, but really he was prowling for an answer.
It didn’t take him long to reach Elizabeth’s building. He had passed by here so many times over the past few months, but he had managed to suppress recognition of its significance for quite awhile now. This time was different.
He had spent all of the night before thinking about his next move. Elizabeth had shared something with him and Jason didn’t know what to do with it. Would things have been different if he had known she loved him? Would he have fought harder?
He kicked the side of the bench in front of him. No, it shouldn’t have mattered because if he loved her and cared about her, he would have fought anyway. But he didn’t.
He tried, once or twice, but each time she had shut him down. He should have realized she was trying to make him work harder and fight harder. Instead, he was acting like she had done something wrong by not wanting to be lied to.
There was something else that stopped him from trying. Her name was Courtney. If Courtney hadn’t come along, Jason probably would have kept trying to fix things with Elizabeth. Even he could admit to that.
Things had happened so fast between him and Sonny’s sister. Suddenly, he’d met someone who cared about him and she wasn’t mad that he had kept that secret about Sonny’s death. He was desperate after Elizabeth walked out on him. It had taken away a huge chunk of the life he had imagined when he was traveling around the world the year before. When he was away, he would think of Elizabeth sometimes and his mind would wander. He didn’t know if this was what an imagination was, but he thought that it could be.
Now that she had told him they were over, he felt alone. Lonely.
Blue, I’m getting kinda close to you
Like a shadow I can’t lose
Hey, you’ve been hangin’ with me every day
Now you’re gettin’ in my way
So then Courtney came along. She fought against Sonny for him and she opened herself up to him. She gave him a warm bed and a warm heart. It was easy to give into Courtney because he was so tired of being alone. The feeling of loneliness had been just over his shoulder all that time he was away. It had been devastating when Elizabeth decided not to share her life with him that day he left Port Charles last.
He thought things would be different when he got back, but he had managed to mess it up. Courtney offered him the easy out. A life of not being alone without the risk of losing something more than he could bear. It was shallow the way he felt for Courtney. He cared about her and admired her, but that is not the basis for love. He knew it too.
I know you understand me
But don’t ya think that maybe it’s time to move on
But seeing Elizabeth everyday after she walked out that door made him want to run. He wanted to run so fast that his heartbreak couldn’t catch up with him. He wanted a new life to escape into. He changed parts of his life so that it looked like he had moved on. He was just waiting for his heart to follow suit. It never did.
When Elizabeth found out about his affair, he watched as she took her anger out on Courtney. He knew Elizabeth had every right to be angry with him. He had replaced her with a poor substitute. He just never understood how deeply he had hurt her. Not until now.
He walked into Kelly’s telling her to take it out on him, wanting to let her release her anger. He had seen her hold things inside and he wasn’t going to let that happen because of his choices. But he was a little selfish too. He had been cold with her, not wanting her to see through his drastic attempt at running away. She asked him about them, but he couldn’t tell her the truth. What could he say? He was sleeping with another woman to forget her? That wouldn’t make things better for her and that’s what he wanted to do.
Unfortunately, his stoic façade backfired and she looked heart broken. He didn’t understand her reaction. The tears in her eyes seemed so misplaced. Why was she crying? She was the one who ended it.
He didn’t know what possessed Courtney, but she asked Elizabeth to keep their affair a secret. He could see how much it hurt Elizabeth to hear that, but he knew Courtney was right. His situation at the time didn’t allow for his little affair to be public knowledge. So he asked her to keep quiet and that was probably the hardest thing he ever did. Courtney was his problem, not Elizabeth’s.
After that night, he rarely saw Elizabeth. When Sonny had ordered him to break up with Courtney, he did. It was okay at first, but when Courtney came around, it was like a drug tempting him. The only way he had gotten through the pain of losing Elizabeth was because of Courtney. She was a distraction that had become an addiction.
So he fought Sonny to be with the other girl. He said all the right things to her to make her fight for them too. He didn’t do it purposely, but he just knew deep inside that he needed that distraction desperately. He couldn’t let Sonny take away his escape. He didn’t want to be alone.
What’s up lonely
Seems you’re my only
Friend who wants to share my pain
When he got back with Courtney, things got better. It was easier. He could forget that he had lost his soulmate and he could pretend he was okay. He could pretend he was in love, because he hoped going through the motions might make it real. If he was in love, it meant his life wasn’t rendered meaningless the moment Elizabeth walked out that door.
Now, months later, he found out his actions had been based on a mistake. He had thought she wanted them to end and he had managed to push her into Ric Lansing’s arms. He had a feeling Lansing had something to do with Elizabeth’s current problem. If he did, Jason would make sure he paid. It didn’t matter who he was.
Jason made a promise to fight for her and he wasn’t going to let his past mistakes stop him. He wasn’t ready to give up on the chance that it wasn’t too late.
Jason paused outside Elizabeth’s door, not remembering how he had gotten there so quickly. He knocked lightly, wondering if Elizabeth was even home. It was early, but there was a chance she was at work.
"Coming!" a voice called out from behind the door.
Jason took in a deep breath. He knew what he had to do, but he needed the strength to do it. To hell with what was right. His heart needed more than what "right" could give him.
Tell me heartache
What’s it gonna take
For you to leave me alone today
Elizabeth opened the door and the shock of seeing Jason standing there was apparent in her reaction. "What are you doing here?"
Jason looked at her and he noticed something different in her eyes. She wasn’t looking at him with anger, but she didn’t act like she wanted him here. Something was wrong. "I came to see you," he began. "I was hoping we could talk."
Elizabeth couldn’t handle Jason right at that moment. Her mind was still reeling about the fact that her life was completely changed now. "I can’t, Jason."
"Elizabeth, please," he insisted. "There are things I left unsaid last night and I need to say them now."
Elizabeth was determined to deal with her pregnancy alone and she knew it would be so easy to ask Jason for help. She couldn’t let herself be tempted. "I don’t care what you need, Jason," Elizabeth said angrily, hoping that would make him go away.
She was right. He didn’t deserve the chance. But that didn’t matter to him. He had become a man with one goal and that was to make Elizabeth understand. "I know this isn’t the best time, but this has to be done."
Elizabeth reached to the door, and started to close it. "Leave me alone!"
Jason gripped the solid steel barrier and stopped Elizabeth from slamming it in his face. "I can’t, Elizabeth. I am not leaving until you let me say what I came to say."
"Why should I let you?" Elizabeth retorted. "I don’t owe you a damn thing!"
Just when I think that you’re gone
You’re in the mirror lookin’ back at me
So what’s up lonely
"I don’t want to fight with you, but I can’t be the bigger man about this either. I won’t let you push me away. For once, I am not going to just sit back and respect your wishes. That cost me too much the last time," he told her.
Elizabeth stared at him, silenced by his confession. Damn him, she said to herself. The minute she thought she was starting to move on, the feelings came rushing back again. His vulnerability made her weak in the knees.
Jason noticed her grip weakening on the door and he pushed it back open slowly. "I know you don’t want me around, but I am going to keep following you until you let me tell you the truth."
"The truth about what?" Elizabeth couldn’t help asking.
Sometimes, I wish you weren’t by my side
Can’t you find another shoulder
"About how I feel about you," Jason said.
Elizabeth sucked in a gasp of air. "No, Jason, you can’t do this. Not now. Not when I’m just starting to accept my life without you."
"I can’t go on knowing that you think I don’t care about you. I hate that you think your love wasn’t worthy of my trust. It was never about that for us, Elizabeth," Jason explained.
"You mean Sonny’s faked death?" Elizabeth asked.
Jason nodded. "You walked out on me and I didn’t say anything to defend myself and I didn’t apologize either. I told you it wasn’t about you but I never knew what I did to make you hurt. I never really understood why you had left. I thought it was because I didn’t involve you enough in business or that I had a life I couldn’t share with you completely. I didn’t know it was because I had made you scared for me."
"You know now," Elizabeth whispered.
"I do and I realize I did everything all wrong," Jason confessed. "I should have fought for us. You deserved that. Our friendship deserved that."
Elizabeth nodded. "Okay, it’s nice that you realize that, but why are you telling me this now? Do you want me to say it’s okay because you didn’t understand? I can’t do that for you, Jason."
"No, I’m not asking for forgiveness, Elizabeth, I am just asking you to listen," Jason said.
Elizabeth walked towards the couch and sat down. "I’m listening. What is this truth you want me to know?"
"I never knew you loved me, Elizabeth," Jason said. "I knew you cared, but I never thought you loved me."
"Would that have made a difference, Jason? Would you have felt sorrier for me?" Elizabeth asked bitterly.
Jason shook his head. "No, but maybe I would have done things differently. I can’t go back and I know there was no excuse, but I want you to hear my side."
I wanna leave this broken heart behind
We been wastin’ too much time
Elizabeth grasped the pillow next to her and tucked her feet under her legs. She tilted her head slightly, letting him know that she was listening.
Jason looked at her and tried to make eye contact but she wouldn’t look at him. "I walked away from us because I thought that was what you wanted."
"Why did you think that Jason? Because I said it?" Elizabeth asked. "How many times have I said things I didn’t mean? You know how I am. You’ve seen me lash out in anger and tell other people things that I didn’t mean."
"That’s just it, Elizabeth. You did that with other people. You never hid what you really meant when you talked to me. You always meant what you said because we could be honest with each other. You were never afraid to be who you are in front of me," Jason said.
"And you never lied to me before, either," Elizabeth threw back.
"I-I know that," Jason admitted. "But I tried to warn you, Elizabeth. I tried to tell you that I would have to keep things from you."
Elizabeth nodded. "I know you did. Maybe it was my fault for worrying so much about you, for thinking that you were grieving when you weren’t. My mistake."
"It was a misunderstanding, Elizabeth, not a mistake," he said. "I promised I would try with you and I broke that promise. I let you get hurt but I didn’t do it on purpose."
Elizabeth turned to look at him, her eyes open and vulnerable. "I know you didn’t, Jason. But purposely or not, you did walk away on purpose. That was your choice."
Jason nodded. "You’re right, I did walk away. But not because I didn’t care enough to stay, but because I thought that was what you wanted. Elizabeth, I left because I hated myself for doing something to wreck us. Every time you told me I was a stranger and that you didn’t want to be a part of my life, I stepped backwards until I finally turned around and started running the other direction."
"Right to Courtney," Elizabeth murmured.
Jason clinched his fists, hearing the emptiness in her voice. "I didn’t look to be with Courtney, Elizabeth. It just happened."
"Right, you just happened to fall in love with the woman you had been guarding for Sonny for months while I was stuck in the penthouse," Elizabeth accused him.
"No," Jason interrupted. "I NEVER did anything but guard her when I was with you. I would never do that to you, Elizabeth. I thought you knew that."
"And I thought you knew how scared I was for you all those times you vanished for days without a single word of reassurance that you were okay," Elizabeth said. "Every time I saw you, you were with Courtney. You walked her home, walked her to work, watched her STRIP as A.J. pointed out . . ."
"That was for Sonny. He told me to make sure his sister wouldn’t get hassled by the guys at the strip club. I never went there to watch her," Jason told her.
Elizabeth couldn’t help it. She believed him. Jason had never intentionally lied to her. He only kept things a secret.
"When I said I wanted to be with you, Elizabeth, that was the truth," Jason said. "I-I loved you."
Elizabeth felt her throat tighten at his admission. "Then how could you have slept with her?"
"I know you’ll never understand and I can never make it right for you, but I never loved her. I tried to, but I couldn’t because you had my heart," Jason told her. "I was running away from the life I had imagined having with you. When you told me we had no chance of ever being together, I was scared. The one good thing in my life was my love for you, but what could I do if you wanted nothing to do with me?"
Elizabeth had tears in her eyes as she heard him open his heart to her. "You could have tried."
"I know, I made so many mistakes. I thought I couldn’t do anything to fix what I had done so I started to believe my chances were over. I would never have real love again because the only person I ever wanted to love was you. I know, people say love isn’t a choice, but I know I couldn’t love anyone else." Jason sighed, his voice coated with the tears that never fell when they should have. "I tried to escape it because the only thing left for me in this world was suddenly a life with no meaning. So I pretended with her, hoping that I would somehow be able to move on. I thought I could make myself love her and not spend the rest of my life alone."
"So instead of fighting for us, you chose to pretend?" Elizabeth asked.
Jason nodded. "I was a coward. I know. But I honestly didn’t think you felt the same way about me that I did about you. You never said it, Elizabeth, and I don’t always know how you feel."
"So if I had never told you that I loved you, if I never confessed, what would you have done?" she asked. "Would you still be with Courtney, living this lie, knowing you gave up on us?"
"I don’t know," Jason said honestly. "I think that eventually Courtney would have realized I didn’t love her."
"Did you tell her you loved her?" Elizabeth asked.
Jason felt his heart pound heavily. He knew the answer Elizabeth wanted to hear. He knew the answer that would ease her pain. He also knew that wasn’t what he could say. "Yes, I told her. I told her all the right things, thinking that if I said them, they’d be true."
"You messed with her head?" Elizabeth questioned angrily. "You made her believe you loved her when you didn’t?"
"It was wrong, I know," Jason said. "And you can hate me for it, but I can’t change it for you, Elizabeth. I can only pray that you won’t hate me forever. I love you, Elizabeth and I always will. What you choose to do, is your choice, but I am choosing to tell you that I still love you and I always have."
Elizabeth felt a tear slip down her cheek, hearing his words and knowing he was being honest. He did love her. Was it enough? "Jason, I believe you."
Jason let out a breath of air he didn’t even know he was holding. "It’s the truth."
"But it’s not enough," Elizabeth said.
Jason stared at her, his heart collapsing in his chest. He was too late.
Find someone else to rain on
I’m really getting’ tired of singin’ this sad song
"I have loved you long before I was ever ready to admit it," Elizabeth confessed. "I was afraid to give you my heart even though I knew I was in love with you. I was finally ready to give it to you that night at the penthouse when I told you I wanted to be with you. I just never understood that my love for you and your love for me wasn’t enough to make me happy. I want to be happy, Jason. I am tired of tears and I am tired of misunderstandings."
Jason’s eyes blurred. He knew that what she was saying was from her heart and that just made it all hurt even more.
"I need to be happy right now," Elizabeth said. "I need peace and time to figure out my own life. When I am with you, things get complicated. I can’t be with you when I’m afraid that you’ll have to lie to me about something because of business. I can’t live in fear that one test of our relationship will send you running to another woman. I am not that strong, Jason . . . but I am strong enough to know that I can’t be with you."
Jason nodded, knowing he couldn’t force her to stay with him and trust him. You can’t make someone believe in you.
"I loved you Jason, and I think I still do," Elizabeth confessed. "When we were friends, you helped me trust myself again. Now, I can’t even do that. When you give up on fighting for us, when you run away because you don’t think I feel the same way, that scares me Jason. It scares me because I love you enough to want more for us."
Jason looked into her eyes and saw the honesty in them. The way she risked her heart to tell him what she really felt only made him love her more.
Elizabeth continued. "I wouldn’t run away when you tried to tell me your life was too dangerous. I never let you push me away because I loved you too much. I didn’t do things because I thought it was best for you, and maybe that was selfish, but I think it was worth it. I just can’t believe that loving someone means giving up."
Don’t wanna give you a reason
To hang around anymore
"I was wrong," Jason said. "But I can learn. I just never loved someone the way I love you. I never had someone walk away and need me to follow. I was always the one to leave."
Elizabeth nodded her eyes red with tears. "I know, Jason."
"I don’t want to make you try again," Jason said. "I don’t want to say something to make you think your choice is wrong. I just want you to know that I love you."
"I do," Elizabeth said.
"It’s just not enough," Jason finished for her.
Elizabeth looked down to her lap. "I tried to wait for you before, Jason. I held out hope that you would come back to me and tell me that you did trust me and that you did love me."
You won’t be hurting my feelings
If you find another broken heart you can lean on
Jason nodded. "I would if I could have it to do again."
"I don’t want you to do that, Jason," Elizabeth told him. "I don’t want you to wait for me. I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone who can love you and who you can love, too. It won’t hurt my feelings if you decide to move on. We can’t work, Jason, but that doesn’t mean you can’t love someone new."
"How do you know?" Jason asked. "How do you know I would ever be over you?"
"You loved Robin and Carly before you ever even knew me. Why couldn’t you love someone else?" Elizabeth pointed out.
"Robin was my first love, but I could never go back to what we were. We were right for each other when we were together, but we were never a forever love," Jason said. "Carly wasn’t someone I could love because I couldn’t trust her. I took what should have been a friendship and let Carly’s feelings mix in with mine. I didn’t have anyone and Carly loved me."
"You loved her because you were lonely?" Elizabeth asked.
Jason nodded. "It sounds bad, but it’s the truth. I loved Carly because she loved me. As soon as I realized that she wasn’t someone I could trust my heart to I stopped trying to make it work. Carly kept pushing, but I couldn’t anymore. That was when you came along and showed me something entirely different."
"Why am I different than the women you’ve loved before?" Elizabeth asked quietly. She didn’t want to hear the answer, in fact we was terrified, but she had to ask. His words might make it harder for her to let him go, but sometimes you can’t take the easy way out.
"You saved me and you let me save you. You helped me find myself because you let me be your strength. Robin taught me how to love and Carly taught me how to care, but I love and care about YOU." Jason looked at her knowing that she wasn’t going to change her mind, but at least he had accomplished what he had come to do. He had told her his heart. It was her choice what to do with it.
Elizabeth felt tears prickle in her eyes again and she knew she had to be alone before she fell apart inside. "Jason, I need you to leave."
Jason relented. He wasn’t going to push. She would come to him when she was ready – if she was ever ready. He turned, opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. Looking back at her, he realized something. He wasn’t lonely anymore.
He had given his heart completely to Elizabeth and as long as she had it, he would know he had a home.
Elizabeth listened as he closed the door and she waited a few moments until she was sure he was gone. His words were like something out of her fantasies but this time they were real. He had said them and she knew he had meant them. She had waited so long to hear him say them. Now that he had, she couldn’t say them back. She couldn’t tell him that she wanted to share her life with him. She couldn’t tell him that she wanted to be with him. She was alone again and sadly, that was the only place safe enough for her and her baby.
"It’s just you and me again," she whispered. She felt like an old friend had returned and she thought to herself, "What’s up lonely?"
Thankful: Just Missed The Train
Jason sat on the bench on the docks, his body stiff with emotion. He had stopped here so many times in his short life as Jason Morgan. He wondered whether he had the strength to get up again this time.
Elizabeth made her choice. As much as he wanted to fight her, he knew it would destroy another part of him when she turned him away. It pained him more to hear her wish him well than it had been when she had told him to go to hell.
When she yelled at him in anger, it was because a part of her was holding onto the possibility of their love. Now, it wasn’t the life she wanted. He understood her decision. When Carly had cheated on him, he had told Carly the same thing. He loved Carly but he couldn’t trust her not to hurt him again. Elizabeth was effecting the same right by telling him they wouldn’t work.
"Jason?" a voice called out to him.
Jason lifted his head, surprised to find the person in his thoughts looking at him. "Carly?"
"What are you doing here?" Carly asked. "Sonny’s been trying to reach you since last night."
"I’ve been busy. I’ll see him later," Jason stated firmly.
"Is something wrong?" Carly questioned, noticing her friend’s unusually anxious exterior.
Roll over baby, the time has come
To make a little bit more room
"Yeah, there is," Jason admitted.
Carly nodded, hearing the plea in Jason’s voice. He made a little room on the bench and she sat beside him. Jason was her best friend and he would do anything for her. It was her chance to return the favor. "Is it about Courtney? I saw her last night and she looked upset."
Jason flinched, remembering how he had hopped on his bike after hearing Elizabeth had landed in the hospital. He guessed that Courtney was upset about his abrupt departure. "It’s not about Courtney. Carly, I need to talk to you."
"Okay, Jason," Carly nodded. The sadness in his voice scared her.
"You know all the times I’ve told you I didn’t want your advice but you kept giving it to me?" Jason commented.
Carly tilted her head. "Look, if this is about my suggestions about Courtney, I didn’t mean to---"
"No, it’s not about Courtney," Jason cut her off. "It’s about me. Carly, I never wanted your advice, but I’m asking now."
I've hung around you, it's getting tough
I think I'm gonna break down soon
Carly stared at her friend in disbelief. Something was really wrong. "I’ll try, Jason."
Jason’s jaw twitched at her choice of words. Carly noticed but she didn’t say anything. "I-I told Elizabeth that I loved her."
Carly was shocked by his confession. She had a few questions but she knew this wasn’t the time. "What happened?" she asked gently.
"She told me we couldn’t work," Jason explained. "She said even though I loved her and even though she loved me, she couldn’t be with me."
Carly leaned in slowly. "And then you remembered that you said the same thing to me once, am I right?"
Jason looked up at his friend. "How did you know?"
"I’ve been hanging around you a long time now, Jason. I know how you think," Carly said.
"Then you know that I think she has every right to feel the way she does. But where does that leave me?" Jason said. "All I have left is a broken heart and an empty future."
At Elizabeth’s studio, Elizabeth was sitting alone on her couch, her mind distracted and frustrated. Elizabeth wiped the tears from her cheek as she stood up from the couch. She didn’t need to reminisce and she didn’t want to remember. Her mind kept filling with what if’s and she wanted it to stop.
She would be putting away a paintbrush and she’d suddenly remember the painting of "The Wind". Or she would be sweeping up around her desk and she would think about the red glass that she had broken. She could be lying there, staring at the ceiling and suddenly her mind would wander back to that night in the park. She would start to imagine how her life would be if she had taken his hand and everything inside her would fall apart.
I remember, crying in the park, it was getting dark
Suddenly I looked up
You were my sky
When had it happened? When did Jason become the one person she used to anchor her life and her heart? She thought that if she figured that out, she could ease away the ache and be able to move on. Breathing wouldn’t be so hard and moving wouldn’t take so much effort.
A knock at the door snapped her out of her thoughts. "Who is it?"
"It’s Lucky," a muffled voice came through the door.
Elizabeth sighed. She didn’t feel like company right now. She opened the door slowly and managed a small smile. "Hey," she greeted.
Lucky looked at her with concern. "Amy called me. She said you were upset when you left the hospital last night."
"Oh," Elizabeth said as he walked into her studio.
"I thought I’d give you some time to yourself before I came over," Lucky explained. "Our last conversation was . . ."
"Weird," Elizabeth finished for him. "I know. I should probably fill in the holes for you."
"You don’t have to," Lucky offered. "We don’t have to talk about that. We don’t even have to talk at all."
Elizabeth shook her head. "No, I need to do this."
"Then I’m here," Lucky said.
Elizabeth took a deep breath. "How do I accept the fact that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life?"
So go on and
Sleep darling
Why don't you pretend we were just a dream
"I can’t answer that for you, Jason," Carly replied to her friend. "I am not you."
"How did you deal with it when I ended us?" Jason persisted.
"I didn’t," Carly laughed. "I got pregnant and somehow I found a way to be happy with Sonny. I probably wouldn’t have without your help, but Jason, we weren’t meant to be. I loved you but it was never meant to be the kind of love that I have for Sonny."
"That’s what Elizabeth said about us," Jason said. "She said we weren’t meant to be."
"She’s scared Jason. She always has been," Carly said. "I was scared of loving Sonny too. I was afraid of letting go of us because it was where I felt safe. I didn’t know if Sonny loved me, but I took that leap. You need to give Elizabeth the chance to take that leap."
"Do you remember that day you asked me if I was over Elizabeth and I told you we never even started?" Jason said.
"You mean the day I realized you and Courtney were more than just guard and victim?" Carly pressed gently.
Jason gripped the arm of the bench a little tighter and nodded. "Elizabeth and I did start, we started three years ago. I just never wanted to admit it. It was just easier to think that I had lost a chance at finding love instead of losing love itself."
"I can understand that," Carly acknowledged.
"I tried to make it less than what it was. Like it was a dream that I had woken up from instead of something I had lost," Jason said.
"But you don’t dream, Jason," Carly commented.
"I also can’t pretend, but I managed it anyway," Jason explained. "I pretended that I could just let go of Elizabeth. I pretended that I could love someone who wasn’t her."
Carly sighed, beginning to understand what her friend was going through.
Meanwhile, at Elizabeth’s studio, Lucky was looking cautiously at his friend. "What makes you think you are going to be alone?" Lucky asked. "Does this have to do with why you were at the hospital? Is it because of whatever happened with Ric?"
Elizabeth shook her head. "Jason stopped by earlier," she told him.
Lucky nodded, realizing where this was leading. "What did he say?"
"He told me he loved me. He told me he still loves me," she whispered, her voice doubtful and uncertain.
"Do you believe him?" Lucky asked, inwardly angry at how Jason had treated Elizabeth the past few months.
Elizabeth hesitated, but she nodded. "He meant it."
"So then what’s the problem?" Lucky asked.
"The problem is that I can’t be with him. I can’t trust him and I can’t trust myself. He made me believe that I wasn’t worth fighting for. He made me think that everything I felt for him was a lie. When he went to Courtney, I started to think that it was all a figment of my imagination. I thought that I was the only one who felt what we shared. I needed to realize the truth and stop being a fool. It was a dream that I had to wake up from," Elizabeth confessed.
It's cool baby
It doesn't matter anyway
Jason shifted in his seat. "How many times did I tell her it didn’t matter? How many times did I fail her? No wonder she doesn’t trust me. She thinks I’ll hurt her again and she has all the reasons in the world to think that."
"You didn’t do it on purpose," Carly suggested.
"That doesn’t make it any less wrong," Jason argued. "I have pushed her away, I have walked away, I have turned my back on her. You can’t go back from that."
Carly put her hand on his shoulder. "Maybe you can’t, but you can care enough to try again."
I'm so sorry
We got to the station a little too late
Lucky sat down next to Elizabeth and turned to face her. "But he told you he loved you. You weren’t just imagining it. As much as it killed me that you could turn to him when you couldn’t trust me, I knew there was something between you two that I couldn’t touch. It was real, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth felt her eyes start to sting again, but she had cried too much already. "It was real," she whispered. "But it costs too much to try again. I have to think about the big picture. I can’t afford to be selfish. Before, I was just risking my heart. Now I have another life to think about."
Lucky stared at her in shock. "What are you saying?"
Elizabeth faced Lucky with wet eyes, "I’m pregnant. I’m going to have Ric’s baby."
Outside, on the docks, Carly was waiting for Jason’s response. She had never seen Jason look so helpless before. Not since he had thought Elizabeth was going to get killed by those kidnappers.
"That’s all she asked me to do, Carly," he explained. "She just wanted me to try. She wanted me to fight for us, but I didn’t. I realized it too late. I have never regretted anything until I regretted giving up on us. Now I can’t fix it."
Carly watched as tears started to fall from Jason’s eyes. She wished there was something she could say, something she could do to help him, but it wasn’t her place. She could only be there for him and hope he would find a way to get through to Elizabeth. She put her arm around her friend and held him tight. She never truly understood Jason and Elizabeth until now. The broken man in her arms was everything she needed to know.
It's such a shame
We just missed the train
"I am having the baby of a rapist," Elizabeth whispered, her hands trembling. "He let a drugged woman think that she had asked him to violate her. He made me believe that she was a liar. How did I let myself give into him? How could I let him touch me after that?"
Lucky wrapped his arms around his friend. He could see her falling apart inside and he was still shocked by the news. It was so wrong to him. How could life have played such a cruel joke on a woman like Elizabeth? Hadn’t she suffered enough pain?
Elizabeth put her head on Lucky’s shoulder. It felt better to have him to lean on but she knew it was far past the time when Lucky could save her and protect her from the world. She had to face this on her own. "The truth was staring me in the face," Elizabeth revealed. "I just wasn’t ready to accept it. Instead, I shared his bed and I told him I loved him. I even accepted his ring. I was going to spend the rest of my life with a man who had lied to me, used me and did worse to someone else. How could I do that?"
"It wasn’t your fault, Elizabeth," Lucky comforted her. "No one asks to be lied to."
"If I had never walked out on Jason, none of this would have ever happened. We were so close to really being together, and I let it slip because of some stupid lie!" Elizabeth shouted at herself.
Lucky shook his head. "You can’t blame yourself for wanting more from Jason. What he did to you was low and he needed to know that. Can you say you would have been happy being his last priority? Could you say that you could let someone lie to you and let you suffer and just live with it?"
Elizabeth knew Lucky was right, but she needed something to hold onto. Anything to cope with her failures. "I need some time to deal with this, Lucky. Thank you for dropping by, but I need to be alone."
Lucky nodded, giving her one last hug. "You call me if you ever need someone to talk to, okay?"
She nodded, smiling softly. He left as Elizabeth sat down to think about what her life was going to be like on her own.
Be quiet angel, don't make a sound
Save it for a rainy day
"I destroyed us, Carly. I lost the one person who loved me completely. She loved me enough to fight and she loved me enough to hope. She loved me so much she waited and she pushed. Why couldn’t I do the same for her?" Jason said through his tears.
Carly held him and whispered, "Shhh. Don’t think about that now, Jason. You can’t go back in time."
Jason sat up slowly. "I need some time to think. I never really took a moment to figure out my life without her. I never let myself imagine it."
Carly nodded in understanding. "You do that. Do what you need to do, Jason."
He paused. "What am I going to tell Courtney? More importantly, what about Sonny?"
"You do what’s right for you, Jason. Let them worry about that later," Carly suggested.
Jason nodded, too worn out emotionally to think about Sonny or Courtney. He walked up the steps to his bike as Carly watched.
She was worried for her friend and she hoped her advice got through to him. If anyone deserved happiness it was Jason. He had sacrificed so much for everyone else. It was time for him to take care of himself.
Carly picked up her purse and headed towards Kelly’s when a familiar face came slowly down the steps. "Elizabeth?"
Oh can't you see me, I'm such a mess
trying hard to find my way
"Carly," Elizabeth acknowledged. She sighed. She had said so many terrible things to this woman. It didn’t matter what had passed between them; Elizabeth had been a fool to even suggest Carly would lie about being raped.
"Are you okay? You look tired," Carly commented, seeing Elizabeth’s disheveled appearance.
"I’m fine," Elizabeth lied. "But I’m glad you’re here. I was going to come see you."
"You were?" Carly asked, surprised.
"I owe you a huge apology for the way I acted when I found out Ric had raped you," Elizabeth confessed. "I was completely out of line."
Carly said gently, "I understand why you had to do that, Elizabeth. You were scared."
"I should have believed you. I should have known better," Elizabeth replied.
"Here, let’s sit down," Carly said, noticing that Elizabeth looked pretty pale.
Elizabeth didn’t sit down, but she stepped a little closer. "I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I had to apologize."
"It’s okay, Elizabeth. I never held it against you. You were sleeping with him, you didn’t want to see him as the kind of man that would do what your rapist did to you," Carly comforted her. "Can I ask what happened to change your mind?"
Elizabeth stared at the bench and looked up at Carly. "I caught Ric with Faith Roscoe on this bench a few days ago."
"Oh my god," Carly said, not needing to hear Elizabeth say the words. She could tell by the way that Elizabeth spoke that Ric had slept with Faith. Carly knew the two had partnered against Sonny, but she never imagined this.
"He asked me to marry him and the next thing I know, he was with Faith on the docks having sex in public," Elizabeth said sadly. "It was then that I realized just how much of a fool I have been. I was an idiot to trust him when everything in my gut was telling me he was bad news. I knew deep down that he wasn’t who I wanted him to be."
Carly nodded, walking slowly to the other side of the docks, away from that bench.
Do you remember, wasting all that time, we were feeling fine
Though we couldn't walk a line
We were alright
"Things were always on thin ice between me and Ric. He would say the right things and he was always charming, but something right underneath the surface was always gnawing at me," Elizabeth admitted. "Jason tried to warn me a few times, but I never let myself see the truth."
"You didn’t want to think you were being used," Carly commented.
Elizabeth nodded in agreement. "I was fighting so hard to make it work and we were alright for a long time. I accepted his proposal because I had fooled myself into believing it was real."
"Because of Jason," Carly suggested.
Elizabeth stared at the blonde woman. "How did you know?"
"You and Jason have always been connected. That’s why I was so angry when I thought you two had become more than friends those years ago," Carly admitted. "I was jealous because I had never seen Jason look at someone the way he looked at you. The way you two fit together was something I couldn’t touch. Not even Robin had that kind of hold on him. It was so subtle, what you two shared. That was probably what made it so strong."
Elizabeth couldn’t believe Carly was saying this to her. Carly was right about it all, though. She and Jason did share something powerful. "It was something I counted on when I walked out on him," Elizabeth admitted. "I thought that if I pushed him, he would fight for us. I thought we were strong enough to survive. I guess I was wrong."
"That was Jason’s mistake," Carly conceded. "You were scared for him after you thought Sonny had died. I could see how much pain it was causing you to be left in the dark. I knew how much it hurt you thinking that Jason was with another woman."
"But you didn’t say anything when we ended," Elizabeth said. "You became Courtney’s best friend and their biggest supporter."
Carly nodded. "I thought Courtney made Jason happy. I knew how hurt he was about losing you and I wanted him to have someone. I knew it was too easy, but I wanted to believe Jason loved Courtney. I owe Jason so much for the family he’s given me. I wanted him to have that too."
"Oh," Elizabeth replied. "But why was Courtney different from me? You never wanted me with Jason, even when we had our truce."
"I have my pride, Elizabeth," Carly explained. "You’re still the girl that took him away from me. I am trying to change. I can see clearer now that I have my own family and my own life. Jason is still a big part of it, but he isn’t the center of it. He hasn’t been for a long time."
"Do you think Courtney can still make him happy?" Elizabeth asked.
Carly raised an eyebrow. It wasn’t a question she expected. Neither was the answer she could tell Elizabeth wanted to hear. "I think she can make him forget sometimes, but I don’t think she’s going to fill that hole in his heart."
Elizabeth sighed sadly. Part of her was happy to hear that answer, but another part hated it. She didn’t want to cause him pain because she was too afraid to be with him. He didn’t deserve to pay for her fears. "I want him to be happy."
"You can make him happy, Elizabeth," Carly said. "You just have to give him another chance."
Oh, why'd that train just pass us by
Didn't anyone see
We were stuck at the light
Or we would've made it on time
"If things were different, I would," Elizabeth admitted. "But right now, I can’t. Every time I think about being with him and the happiness we could have shared, another piece of my heart shatters."
Carly could feel something off in Elizabeth’s voice but she didn’t want to push. "You can’t be afraid forever, Elizabeth. Sooner or later, you’re going to have to take a chance."
"I should have taken a chance a long time ago," Elizabeth said. "I should have gone with him to Italy when he offered. I should have trusted him instead of Zander that night I was locked in the stairwell. I should have let him explain when I found out about Sonny’s faked death. I should have told him I loved him all those times he needed to hear it. Why couldn’t I see that we were this close to finding happiness with each other? If it weren’t for my inside fears, we would have made it. I know we would have."
"So change, Elizabeth. Take the chance," Carly repeated.
Elizabeth looked down at her stomach. "I can’t take that risk right now, Carly. My life isn’t just me anymore. I . . ."
Carly’s eyes widened. "You’re pregnant."
Elizabeth nodded. "I haven’t stopped crying since I found out and it’s not good for the baby. I need to walk away from Jason because I can’t risk this baby’s life even if it costs me my chance with him."
"Does Ric know?" Carly asked, still trying to absorb the information.
"No, I found out last night," Elizabeth said.
"Are you going to tell him?" Carly continued.
"I don’t know yet," Elizabeth admitted.
"Does Jason know?" Carly inquired.
"No. I’m not going to tell him," Elizabeth said. She tightened her grip on her jacket knowing how much it would take to keep this secret from him.
"Okay," Carly replied, respecting Elizabeth’s choice.
"It’s just really hard right now," Elizabeth explained. "Jason came by last night and he told me he still loves me. I don’t know how to forget that."
"Why forget it?" Carly questioned.
"Because it’s the only way for me to get through this," Elizabeth said, her voice shaking. "I need to forget, but every move I make, every thing I see in my studio is another reminder of Jason and what we had."
Carly nodded seeing that Elizabeth needed strength and that meant she had to separate herself from Jason. Then an idea came to Carly. "Why don’t you stay with us?" Carly suggested.
"What?" Elizabeth said, confused.
"You can stay in Jason’s penthouse. He’s not living there," Carly explained. Carly hesitated. "He’s been staying at Courtney’s loft."
"I couldn’t do that," Elizabeth said, pretending that Carly’s words didn’t affect her.
"Sure you can. Besides, how are you going to face Ric when he shows up at your place? You need time to figure things out and you can’t do that if he comes to see you. He’ll never think you were staying with me," Carly said.
"Won’t Sonny mind?" Elizabeth said as she considered the offer Carly was making.
"He won’t notice. He only goes in there when he needs to see Jason and Jason isn’t staying there anymore," Carly informed her.
"But I stayed with Jason in that penthouse. It’s where he lives. Won’t that make things worse? I can’t handle the reminders," Elizabeth explained.
Carly smiled. "Trust me, there will be nothing there to haunt you. His place has since been, uhh . . . redecorated."
Elizabeth looked at her questioningly.
Carly grinned, taking Elizabeth by the arm. "Just come with me to the penthouse. See it for yourself and then decide what to do."
Elizabeth hesitated. "A few new pieces of furniture won’t take away from the memories," Elizabeth insisted.
"You need to think about the baby. Is it worth the risk that Ric will find out?" Carly asked.
Elizabeth bit her lower lip. She knew Carly was right. It couldn’t hurt and she needed a place to hide for now. "Fine, I’ll go with you."
Carly smiled. "Good," she replied. Seeing the uncertainty in Elizabeth’s eyes, Carly laughed. "Believe me, you won’t even recognize the place."
"Just remember, I warned you," Carly said as she opened the door to Jason’s penthouse.
Elizabeth shook her head. Carly wasn’t foreign to exaggeration. However, when Elizabeth walked in, her jaw dropped straight through the floor. "This . . . this can’t be Jason’s penthouse," she managed to say, her breath being sucked out by the shock.
"I couldn’t agree more," Carly laughed. "But it is the place Jason was staying for a while."
"It’s like something out of a catalog," Elizabeth said, her eyes trying to take it all in. "It’s so . . . coordinated."
Carly nodded. "I know what you mean."
Elizabeth walked around, taking in the candles, the adorned lamps, the mirrors and the new couch. It felt so . . . off. Carly wasn’t kidding when she said the place had changed.
A part of it made sense to Elizabeth. Like Jason, this place had become a stranger to her.
"The pool table is still here, though," Carly pointed out.
"He doesn’t use it," Elizabeth commented, touching the green felt and the wooden frame. She closed her eyes and somewhere inside her, she was touching a memory.
"How do you know?" Carly asked, surprised by Elizabeth’s deduction.
Elizabeth picked up the cue stick. "Look," Elizabeth said, holding the object the way Jason had taught her. "It doesn’t fit."
Carly watched as Elizabeth demonstrated how the cue stick hit the bookcase against the north wall of the room. Carly raised an eyebrow. How did Elizabeth notice that? "A lot of this doesn’t fit," Carly observed.
Elizabeth nodded in agreement. "You’re right. It makes it easier though. I could stay here. I just wonder how Jason could."
Carly tilted her head. "Love makes you do funny things."
Elizabeth bit her lower lip. "Maybe the person he is with Courtney is the real Jason," Elizabeth suggested, mistaking Carly to mean Courtney instead of her.
Carly shook her head, seeing the self-doubt in Elizabeth’s eyes. "No, the real Jason is buried inside here. He hid himself like he let Courtney hide his apartment underneath all this furniture. A part of me thinks he liked it better that way. Like you, he isn’t too big on reminders."
Elizabeth’s hands kept reaching out to touch each object and Carly had a feeling the younger woman was trying to find a piece of Jason in there. As much as Elizabeth tried to run, her heart still drew her back to the man who used to live here.
"I’ll leave you alone," Carly said, walking towards the door.
Elizabeth smiled gratefully. Carly was right, Elizabeth did need some time. But how much?
Carly closed the door quietly behind her. Elizabeth barely even noticed. She was too busy trying to picture the Jason that had fallen for Courtney. He said he’d pretended, but a part of Elizabeth still clung to the idea that Jason didn’t pretend. He was true to himself and that was what made her love him.
Elizabeth walked slowly up the stairs. Even the stairs were different. Memories that used to haunt her just didn’t align with the image she had in front of her. It was like a completely different staircase in a penthouse belonging to a completely different person. Maybe that was the case.
As she slipped noiselessly down the hall, she passed what used to be Jason’s room. Elizabeth had never seen him use it, but since she and Zander occupied the other two rooms, she knew this one was his. She had always wondered what it was like inside, but she never asked. Not that she ever had the chance.
Elizabeth wasn’t sure why, but walking past it made her curious. She wondered if that piece of Jason Morgan she was searching for downstairs was still preserved in his bedroom.
She slowly opened the door, hesitating out of fear of what she might find. She was afraid that it would be the same as downstairs: a picture of perfection. It was like someone had come into Jason’s heart and redecorated. Would his bedroom feel the same? Would it feel like someone had thrown a costume over Jason’s home?
Elizabeth knew one thing about Jason. He didn’t care about or particularly like extravagances. She could still remember his reaction to her idea of a Christmas Tree. He thought it would look better in its natural environment decorated in its own beauty. Elizabeth thought he would feel the same way about his home, but he had changed.
It was nighttime and there was very little light in this section of the penthouse. The fixtures in the corridor were the only way for her to see anything inside the room. Shadows loomed and the light from the hallway started to creep into the crevices. As the furniture came to light, Elizabeth could feel an overwhelming presence.
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
Elizabeth could almost feel him in the room. The bare furniture, the dark colors and the simplicity all represented a part of the Jason she used to know. It was the home of someone used to being alone. Someone who didn’t need much, but what he had was enough to make him comfortable. The emptiness of the room made Elizabeth a little sad, but she was glad it wasn’t touched by any outsiders. This room still belonged to Jason Morgan.
Jason was always an extreme to Elizabeth. Like the wild deep colors contrasting with the functional furniture pieces, Jason was a paradigm. He was very protected. He rarely revealed his feelings. He was an outsider and he made sure everyone knew it, or at least believed it. But when you looked into his eyes and he dropped that iron curtain, you could see his heart. Inside, he was all love and strength. His devotion to his family and his friends was a force to be reckoned with if it was every threatened, but the important thing was that he had a heart underneath it all.
If he loved you, you would have him completely. His love, his soul, his strength would be yours. Jason never held back once he let someone in. Once you became his friend, you were his friend for life. He would protect you against the world if he had to and he would also give you what you needed without you even knowing it.
On the other hand, if he hated you, you had better run . . .
He's as damned as he seems
More Heaven than a heart could hold
His life and what had happened to him created this coldness that seemed so different from the heart you could see if he let you. At the same time, that life made him who he is. His passion, good or bad, came from his belief in freedom and being your own person. In his line of work, he had to fight for everything. Respect, fear, loyalty . . . it all had to be earned and then kept. This survival instinct brought out the power inside this man.
As dangerous as it was and as damning as his life seemed, there was just something about him that made you want to know more. He made you want to understand how a heart like his could come from a life so violent.
Elizabeth paused. This wasn’t helping. Thinking about Jason was not the route to take if she wanted to move on. This all was a bad idea. Turning around, her eyes caught on an image in the mirror. Ever since she had stepped in the room, her eyes had avoided one thing: his bed. Now that she could see the reflection in the mirror, she realized she was not alone.
Turning around quickly, Elizabeth gazed upon his sleeping form. He was the last thing she expected to see. The overwhelming feeling of familiarity and nearness to him had been a signal of his presence. She was just too distracted to realize it.
As Elizabeth felt herself drawing closer to him against her better judgment, she frowned. His face, although in a deep sleep, was tight and twisted. He wasn’t having a peaceful rest, she imagined. In fact, he looked almost tortured.
Feeling her way across the room, Elizabeth found a chair. She didn’t know what possessed her, but she sat down. She did, however, stop herself from leaning in too closely. It was dangerous to be this close to him.
And if I tried to save him
My whole world could cave in
Just ain't right
Just ain't right
She watched as his chest rose and fell to the rhythm of his breathing. She realized that she hadn’t seen him sleep since he had lived with her in the studio a lifetime ago. It suddenly seemed that just yesterday she was feeding him cans of soup and making him rest. She remembered putting blankets on him in the middle of the night or making sure that the window was closed to keep out the winter chill. Back then, things were different. She couldn’t imagine being this close to him now and thinking about anything other than touching him.
He turned slightly in his bed, and Elizabeth sucked in a breath of air. How would he react if he found her here? What would she say? Would he tell her to stay? Would he tell her he loved her and he wanted another chance like he had before?
Elizabeth shook her head. She couldn’t let that happen. If Jason asked, Elizabeth didn’t know if she could refuse him again. At the same time, if she let herself give in, her whole world could come caving in on her. She wasn’t ready, not now.
Luckily, he seemed to settle in. His breathing became regular and he didn’t seem like he was going to move again. Elizabeth could see the shadows on his face, darkened by the places the moonlight could not reach. He looked hollow, like the way she was feeling.
Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
Knowing that he was asleep allowed Elizabeth to put down one of the walls she was so intent on using to bar him from her life. If she couldn’t face him in the light of day, at least she could bare her soul in the guise of night.
She couldn’t help but reach out and touch his face. She wanted to will his face to relax. It hurt her to see him in pain. Sweeping some hair from his face, she noticed how long his hair had gotten. He almost looked like he had when he first came back to Port Charles last May. If only she could jump back in time and change what had happened.
She smiled as his face started to soften at her touch. His face almost leaned into her hand and she felt that familiar shiver run up her spine. She bit her lower lip, wondering if when he woke up, he would think she was Courtney. Was his willingness to let her touch him, even subconsciously, because he thought she was Courtney? After all, Courtney was to the one who had been sharing his bed for months.
Quickly, Elizabeth withdrew her hand. Even if he was unconscious, she wouldn’t settle for being a substitute. She was tired of pretended feelings and misunderstandings. She could see his face start to tighten again and she flinched in response. She wanted him to be okay, but she wasn’t going to risk her heart to do it.
Suddenly, a whisper fell from his lips and she stared wide-eyed, realizing that he had said her name. "Elizabeth," he said again.
She froze, terrified that he had caught her there. Not that she was afraid of him, but she was afraid of the confrontation. If he knew she was there, he would ask why and she would have to make up some reason. She couldn’t tell him the truth because the truth would mean giving him hope and she wouldn’t do that to him.
She made the choice to walk away. She let go of what he was offering her. She wasn’t going to second-guess him or give him mixed signals like she had done before. She didn’t know what he was after when he told her that he loved her, but she was sure he wanted more than she could give him.
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
His face started to relax and the rhythm of his breathing calmed down. Elizabeth felt herself relax too. Even in the cloak of the darkness, she could see his soul. She could see the man she loved shining through and she couldn’t help her heart’s reaction. It ached for him and she knew it. She just wouldn’t let it change her decision. She had tried following her heart once, but all it did was make her believe in something that would never happen.
She wasn’t going down that path again. It was too painful.
Still, she couldn’t help seeing how beautiful he looked when he was asleep. As damaged as he thought he was, and as dangerous his life made him, Elizabeth still though he was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Such a beautiful disaster.
If I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster
That made Elizabeth wonder. If she took the chance, if she let him see how much she still loved him, would it be worth the risk? There was so much pain that she could feel already if she let herself love him. He had been the one man who could make her hurt as much as he did.
She had cried before, but she never felt a part of her die each time just because he walked away. The heartache she had felt before that was even close to this was when Lucky "died" in the fire. Jason was still alive, breathing and sleeping right in front of her. Why did it feel like her soul was forever missing when he left?
There was love and laughter awaiting her, too. Something as powerful as they shared would surely hold both happiness and heartache. The best of her life was spent with him. She had never really known herself until he showed her the way. He gave her the chance to rebuild her soul. He shared his soul with her. She had never known anyone like Jason before, and she would never know anyone like him again.
She reached out, and rubbed her thumb against the side of his cheek. If they tried, would it be something beautiful or just a beautiful disaster? Would it matter as long as she had it?
He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
He gave her something no one else could. Even when she was completely in grief over someone else or completely in love with someone else, she still needed him. When she was around him, she felt like there were no expectations. Who she was and how she wanted to act was completely okay. He made her life into a fairy tale every time he stepped into the room. The way he looked at her let her know that her soul was as connected to his as his soul was to hers.
Tears, laughter, anger, sadness, pain, joy, it all fit inside her when she was with him. Nothing was ever wrong unless she felt it was wrong. Even when she thought he was wrong, that was okay too. He made her believe in the woman she could be. It killed something inside her knowing that she would never have that again.
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
With everything he had gone through in his life, whether it be Robin’s betrayal, Carly’s plans, Sonny’s demands, his family’s expectations or his own inner turmoil, she could still see that he had held on. He was still who he wanted to be. A strong man with more damage than a soul should see. She wouldn’t deny it when it only made her love him more. Her heart and her soul have seen their share of wreckage. He made her believe that it made her stronger and she though the same of him.
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight
His life and the way he chose to lead it had been the reason she walked away. Secrets and lies and his own choices made it impossible for her to stay. She had even told him so. But she never said she couldn’t come back.
She wanted him to fight, wanted to know that he cared enough about them to hold on tight. She had made a mistake. She had tried to test him and that cost her his love.
She wasn’t trying to change him. She knew how important his job was to him. She knew how much he cared for his family. She just needed to know how much he cared about her. Leaving her alone in the penthouse and keeping the truth from her didn’t answer that for her. She needed answers and the only way she knew how to get them was to leave. Give him something to make him see how much he had hurt her. That was her mistake.
Now he was a stranger to her. Someone who didn’t know her or even want to know her. She couldn’t blame him, though. It was her choice to challenge him and it was his choice to walk away. As much as he said she should know how he felt, she really didn’t. Or else she wouldn’t have known how easy it was for him to let go.
I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waiting so long
She didn’t think it was wrong for her to want both. To want the respect he gave to her as a friend and the love he could give her when they became something more. When they crossed that line, the respect and honesty had been left behind. He liked the danger of his life because it was the only way he knew how to live. She knew that, but she didn’t think it meant that he could hurt her to keep it. Maybe she was waiting for some kind of miracle. Some way that would make her more important to him than the life he led. Was it asking too much?
He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the ends he breaks
She felt the warmth of his blood underneath the skin of her palm. There was a gentle heart beating under those sheets, but she realized it no longer beat for her. She had taken a chance and she had lost. There was no one to blame, it just happened. He said he still loved her, but she knew her choice had cost them something huge.
She tried to convince herself that it would have ended eventually, but she couldn’t believe that. After everything they had gone through, how could it end so simply? One lie, one test, one plea and it was over. Years of friendship and compassion and faith all disappeared in a single moment.
His jaw started to tighten and she stood still, tensing at his subtle movements. The moonlight made his face seem so vulnerable. As strong as he tried to be and as cold as his enemies believed he could be, she could still see his heart. His weakness was his ability to love and she could always see that even if others didn’t notice.
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take
Elizabeth sighed. Jason would always be the one man who understood her, believed in her and trusted her to save herself. For that, she could never stop loving him. Jason’s lifestyle kept him from being a man she could spend her life with. It wasn’t enough for him to make promises of trying, he just couldn’t. His life wouldn’t allow him to. Still, when he loved her, he loved her to her core and she knew it. He never fought for someone the way he had fought to make her see that he was the man she loved.
Now she could see, but it was too late. His love was more than she could take when her life wouldn’t allow her to take the chance.
She had a life living inside her that needed her to be stronger than the pain in her heart. Sacrifices needed to be made and Elizabeth was willing to do that. She had to.
Elizabeth finally found the strength to stand and she walked towards the door. Turning around, she took one last look. It was her only chance to see what could have been. Now, she had to move on. She walked to the hallway, and somewhere inside the room, she heard her name being called. Closing her eyes tightly, she clenched her fists. This was the right thing to do, she thought.
Taking a deep breath, she walked to the end of the hallway and down the stairs. She couldn’t stay here anymore. She would have to figure out another place to hide.
She opened the apartment door and moved slowly to the elevator. The pounding in her heart showed her that this wasn’t something she could just forget. She knew she would have to fight herself every step of the way.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sonny’s apartment door hanging open. Her curiosity peaked so she crept slowly towards the other penthouse. The light shining through the opening allowed her to get even closer.
"Sonny?" she asked as she walked towards the room.
"Elizabeth?" a distant voice replied.
Elizabeth stepped inside. She froze when she saw what was Carly standing over an unconscious Ric with a gun in her hand. "Carly? What are you doing?"
Carly stared at her with an emptiness in her eyes. "I’m making him pay," Carly said.
Elizabeth approached slowly. "What do you mean?" Elizabeth asked.
Carly smiled coldly. "This is none of your business Elizabeth, just turn around and go back to Jason’s penthouse."
Elizabeth turned to look at the man tied up to the chair. "Where’s Sonny, Carly?" she asked calmly.
"He’s out doing business. Ric knew that so he came over to torment me," Carly explained.
"What about Michael?" Elizabeth said as she stepped closer to Carly. Elizabeth didn’t want to startle her, knowing that the weapon in her hand was pointed straight at her captor’s heart.
"He’s at my mom’s," Carly said nonchalantly.
"What are you going to do with him?" Elizabeth whispered, now standing right next to Carly.
Carly grinned. "I just want him to feel what I felt and then not remember a thing when he wakes up . . . in hell."
Thankful: You Thought Wrong
"Carly," Elizabeth pleaded, trying to get through to the older woman. Elizabeth could care less whether Ric lived or died, but she knew what this would cost Carly. Carly was also bearing a child and she didn’t need this on her conscience. Besides, killing Ric wouldn’t end the nightmare for Carly. Elizabeth knew from personal experience. "Elizabeth, go on," Carly said, gesturing towards the door, gripping the gun with her other hand. "Get out of here. I can handle Ric. You just go get some rest. You won’t have to worry about Ric finding out about your child." Elizabeth felt the tenderness in Carly’s voice and the sincere protectiveness of her tone. "Carly, if you do this, don’t do it for me. What will Michael think if his mother killed his uncle?" "He is NOT Sonny’s brother!" Carly shouted. "He’s no one’s brother. He’s just a piece of scum that should never have been born." Elizabeth nodded her head. "Fine, but what if the cops find out and you get put in prison and both your children will be without a mother?" Carly’s grip started to loosen on the gun at the mention of her children. "But he has to pay," Carly insisted, her eyes focused on the unconscious man in front of her. Elizabeth reached out to touch Carly’s hand. "He will, Carly. But don’t sink to his level. Don’t let him take anything else away from you." "He came in here thinking he got away with what he did with me," Carly said, a single tear running down her cheek. "He laughed at me and said he could have done anything he wanted while I was drugged and I couldn’t fight back. He told me I asked for it, practically begged him to undress me." I see how you're tryin' to weasel Your way in boy "He’s lying," Elizabeth said, matter-of-factly. "He told me himself that all he meant to do was make you think you had slept with him. You were knocked out. The only thing you did was ask for Jason. That’s IT." Carly turned to Elizabeth with tears in her eyes. "You’re sure?" Elizabeth nodded. "You didn’t do anything wrong, Carly. Ric just used you and messed with your mind." "Why?" Carly asked, feeling herself weaken with emotional exhaustion. Elizabeth watched the gun carefully, out of the corner of her eye. "He was just trying to get in with Sonny. Hurt Sonny the only way he could. He’s a coward, Carly. He uses women to get what he wants. Whether it be revenge or sex." I know how you maneuver With your, your confusion "Then why did he keep taunting me?" Carly persisted. "He kept saying that I did this to myself. Even after Sonny found out he was his brother, he still made those snide remarks about how great it would have been if he had slept with me when he had the chance. I don’t understand." Elizabeth could see Carly’s hand trembling, and Elizabeth slowly put her hand on the gun. "He was trying to confuse you. He knew he lost and he thought he could still use you to get to Sonny. He doesn’t know how strong you are." Carly looked distant and she let go of the gun as Elizabeth pulled it from her hand. "I’m not strong, Elizabeth. I saw my husband kiss another woman and I did what I do best. I ran off to do something to hurt him back." "You were DRUGGED, Carly," Elizabeth reminded the older woman. "Remember how strong you were when I accused you of lying? Hold onto that. Your anger about what he did is your right. Don’t let him turn it against you. He’s not worth it." Carly’s eyes started to brighten with the flame of her anger again. "He isn’t. You’re right. He thought he could hurt my family and he failed." Elizabeth nodded. "He failed miserably. You are too tough and brave for him to bring you down. Look at everything you have done for your family, Carly. He can’t touch that. He has been suffering because he doesn’t know what family means. He’s never going to know." "But that’s not enough," Carly said resolutely. "He has to know what he did. He has to see how wrong he was to even think he could cross me. He has to admit that what he did was wrong." "You can show him, Carly. By standing tall, by overcoming what he’s done. To keep that image of fear out of your mind every time you see him. To be stronger each time he tries to push you down. Know that you’re not the helpless drugged woman that he can use to his own ends. He doesn’t have the power anymore. He’s not even worth your spit." Suddenly a sound came from the limp body in the chair across from the two women. Ric started to regain consciousness and his eyes fluttered open. "What’s going on?" Elizabeth turned to him, realizing that any pain he had caused her had been replaced with a burning fury that would not be sated. "Hello, Ric," she smirked. Carly grinned, realizing that she could make him pay without killing him. Dying was too easy for the bastard. He deserved far greater pain. "Wakey, wakey, brother-in-law," Carly greeted. As his vision started to focus again, Ric realized where he was. His hands started to struggle against the knots as he panicked. "What am I doing here? Why am I tied up?" "He looks like a caged animal, doesn’t he?" Carly smiled, looking at Elizabeth. Elizabeth shook her head. "No. More like scum squirming in a petri dish." Carly laughed, "You’re right, that is more fitting." "Elizabeth?" he whispered, startled to find her there. "What is this? Are you going to let Carly do this to me?" "Do what, Ric?" Elizabeth said, her eyes piercing through his. "Take away your control? Take away your choice? Make sure you CAN’T fight back? Now, why would I want to stop that?" "Ric, you said you were my FRIEND," Carly spat, gripping his face in her hand. "You used me and you took off my clothes. You trapped me in that motel room and made me believe I had begged you to sleep with me. What kind of man does that?" "He’s not a man," Elizabeth interjected. "He’s a spineless coward who can’t face his own mistakes. Instead he cries and blames anyone he can so that he doesn’t have to look at himself in the mirror and see who he really is. Nothing but lies and fear." You tell me that I'm your only And how bad that you want me Then why are you so shady If I'm supposed to be your lady "Elizabeth," Ric pleaded again, trying to find a way out of his predicament. "I love you. I never lied about that." Elizabeth eyes widened with how easily the lie slipped through his lips. "You do? Were you loving me when you were banging Faith on the docks? Were you loving me when you stripped down a drugged Carly? Were you loving me every time you lied right to my face?" "Elizabeth, it wasn’t like that," Ric insisted, treading water as he tried to think of an explanation. "I was scared that I had lost you. I slept with Faith in an instant of weakness. You can understand that." Elizabeth felt her stomach churn. She had told him about Zander and their one night stand once because she was so broken over Jason. She couldn’t believe he was using her confession from her soul against her. "What you did with Faith was NOTHING like what I did. I made a mistake. What you did disgusts me. I saw it with my own eyes, so don’t even try to weasel your way out of this one." Why should I believe anything you say And how could you treat me that way "I’m not trying to do that," Ric whispered. "I did do it, and it was wrong. But, I love you Elizabeth. What we share is stronger than that mistake." "I am sure Faith would love to hear you call her a ‘mistake’!" Carly laughed. "Then again, she was never that bright." "I just want to know something, Ric," Elizabeth said, spitting his name. "What made you think you could do that to me, huh? Did you think, hell, Faith will f*ck me, no questions asked? Is that the kind of woman you really want?" "No, Elizabeth. I want you," Ric begged. "I need you." "Then why did you do it?" Elizabeth asked. "Why didn’t you just tell me the truth? Tell me that I wasn’t worth the work and just let me move on. Why the lies, Ric?" "I wasn’t thinking, Elizabeth. I would have told you the truth," Ric insisted. "I just haven’t seen you since---" "Since you had sex with that slut? You had time to come over here and threaten Carly," Elizabeth pointed out. Where'd you get the nerve to even think that you You could play me boy "That wasn’t what I—" Ric began. "What you were REALLY doing?" Carly finished for him. Carly bent in front of him with a grin on her face. "You thought you could beat me? Stronger men, better men, REAL men have tried and failed. What makes you think you could keep using me?" "Carly, that was just a misunderstanding," he lied. "I just want to be Sonny’s brother, and you’re my only link to him." "Do you think I’m stupid?" Carly spat at him. "You think I couldn’t see through your sick little game? The ONLY reason you could get to me was because of my love for Sonny. Now he knows the truth and you have NO power over me." "Elizabeth, how can you let her do this? Carly is a vengeful b*tch but you’re not," Ric said to the brunette. "You know this is wrong." Elizabeth laughed. "You obviously don’t know me that well. When you cross me, Lizzie Webber comes out to play, and she’s a b*tch and a half." You thought we didn't know You thought we were in the dark But boy your cover's blown 'Cause we both know now, oh no Carly let out a soft laugh. She knew that only too well. "You better be nice to Elizabeth," Carly said. "She’s the only reason you’re still breathing." Ric saw the gun on the couch and fear shook through his body. "You were going to kill me?" he asked weakly. Carly tilted her head. "Yeah, but Liz convinced me not to." "Then some piece of you must still care about me, Elizabeth," Ric said, grasping at straws. "No, it means I care that Carly doesn’t go to jail. If I knew she’d get away with it, I doubt I would care one way or the other," Elizabeth smirked. "I know who you really are now, Ric. We both do." You thought you had us both At your beckon call "You don’t mean that," Ric insisted. "What we share is real, Elizabeth. Whether you want to admit to it or not, you know it’s true. We love each other. You stood by me when no one else would. You shared my bed, many times, and you told me you loved me. That can’t all be a lie." "For a liar, you sure aren’t very good at it," Carly commented, hoping that Elizabeth wasn’t buying this junk. Elizabeth face started to soften. "Do you still love me?" "I do, Elizabeth. What we have has nothing to do with my vendetta against Sonny," Ric said, seeing an opening. "You have my heart. You share my soul." Elizabeth felt her eyes wet with tears. "You mean that?" "Of course," Ric replied. "When I’m with you, you’re everything. My perfect world, my utopia would be to spend my life in your arms forever." Elizabeth’s eyes glistened. "It would?" "Yes, Elizabeth. We belong together. Don’t let Carly do this to me. Untie me and we can leave this place and never come back," Ric said. Elizabeth smiled, her eyes sparkling. She leaned closer to him and whispered into his ear, "What do you take me for? Some kind of idiot?" "What?" Ric asked, confused. But now who's the joke? And look who's laughing now "Didn’t your Harvard professors teach you anything?" Elizabeth said, laughing bitterly. "You’re right, the world where I would love you would be a utopia. NO PLACE. You think I can’t see right through your slime? I am the queen of liars and you are nothing but a court jester." Carly let out a sigh of relief. For a minute there, she thought Elizabeth was falling for Ric’s little act, but she should have known better. Now you're trying to use us Against one another but it won't work "Carly, you’re pregnant. You should take care of yourself instead of playing these stupid games," Ric snapped. He turned to Elizabeth with pleading eyes. "Elizabeth, she’s messing with your head. We love each other, she’s just trying to manipulate you." "You would know," Elizabeth tossed back. "Don’t you ever get tired of lying?" Ric turned to the other woman. "Carly, come on, now. You know I didn’t do anything to you. Elizabeth’s anger at me for cheating on her is making her do this. You know I wouldn’t hurt you," Ric said. "And you can’t be mad at me for cheating on her. You’ve done worse." Carly laughed. "You are so pathetic, you know that? Trying to use us against each other. Well it isn’t going to work. We don’t have blinders on anymore Lansing, so just give it up already." I see right through your game boy And I know exactly where the blame falls "We both know who’s to blame for this little situation here," Elizabeth said. "It’s you." Carly turned to look at the brunette. "You know, I was ready to relax in a nice bath when Slick Rick came in and interrupted my plans. He had to shoot off at the mouth and somehow got himself all tied up and drugged," Carly grinned. "He’s starting to bore me, how about you?" Elizabeth commented. "As fun as it is to see him squirm, his voice just grates on my nerves and his lies are getting really tiring," Carly replied. "Yeah, well I know how to solve that," Elizabeth said, picking up the gun. Ric’s heart pounded furiously and his eyes went wide. "What are you going to do to me?" Carly and Elizabeth both laughed. Carly looked at him squarely. "You are really sad. Was this how you were when Sonny held a gun to you? Whining and pleading and pretty much being pitiful?" Elizabeth shook her head. "Don’t worry, we’re not going to kill you." "Then why the gun?" Ric asked, his eyes still focused on the weapon pointed in his direction. "A little, uh, persuasion, you could call it," Elizabeth explained. You, you try to deny all your actions For once in your life be a real man At least give me the proper respect of the truth I already know you did it "Persuasion for what?" he asked cautiously, his hands twisting in the knots. "Since you seem to struggle with the idea of honesty and respect, I thought this might push you in the right direction," Elizabeth hinted. "What do you want from me?" Ric asked. "The truth!" Carly cut in. "ADMIT what you did to me. Admit that what you did was wrong. Apologize for what you did to Elizabeth and to my family. Do it or you won’t walk out of here alive." "You said you weren’t going to kill me," Ric whispered in fear. "Push me, and you know, things happen. I can’t help that," Carly smirked. "Elizabeth, please, put down the gun. No one has to get hurt here," Ric entreated her. "You don’t want to hurt me. I love you, I swear it and I know deep down that you love me." Now I see right through you baby You try to tell me you want me Can't you just get it through your thick head 'Cause I have seen this game before "Ric, don’t you ever learn? I don’t believe you and I never will, so just stop lying and confess," Elizabeth shouted, lowering the gun. "Ric’s a little slow in the head," Carly explained. "He doesn’t really retain knowledge very well. Maybe he needs a little reminder." "Wait!" Ric shouted before Elizabeth could point the gun at him again. "What?" both women asked. "Please, give me a chance to explain. You’ll both go to jail if you do this," Ric tried to persuade them. "You hate me, that’s fine, but think of what will happen if you get caught." "Ric, you thought you could use us. You thought we were too blinded by love to see through you. Well, you thought wrong," Elizabeth smirked. "And now you’re wrong this time. I doubt anyone would miss you if you happened upon a little accident." Ric raised an eyebrow. He had never seen Elizabeth so cold and angry before. Something was definitely off. Suddenly, the penthouse door slammed open and a female voice shouted, "Put down the gun or I’ll shoot!" Carly and Elizabeth both turned to find the blonde mob moll staring at them with a gun in her hand. "Thank God," Ric sighed, seeing his partner at the door. "God’s got nothing to do with this, babe," Faith smiled. She turned to the other two women. "Untie him or I’ll kill both of you." "I’ll shoot you before you get the chance," Elizabeth threatened. "Oh yeah?" Faith asked. Then three tall, muscled men came into the penthouse armed with guns and pointed them at Elizabeth and Carly. "Uh oh," Carly whispered. Elizabeth looked at the weapons and quickly gathered her nerves. "Okay, we’ll untie him, but you have to promise that you won’t shoot." "Fine," Faith grinned. "Just do it." Elizabeth tilted her head in Ric’s direction and Carly nodded. As the blonde woman, worked to undo the ropes, Elizabeth stared at Faith, her eyes not wavering. Faith could almost laugh, seeing Elizabeth standing so fiercely when she was so obviously outnumbered. She didn’t know what Ric saw in the girl. She would make sure her competition would be eliminated before the night was over. "Okay, he’s free, now get out," Carly said, as she stood up. "Give Ric the gun," Faith said to Elizabeth. "What’s wrong, Faith? You have three big bad men to protect you . . . and then there’s Ric. What are you afraid of?" Elizabeth taunted her. Carly raised an eyebrow. Elizabeth had guts. "Just making sure you don’t try anything," Faith replied. Elizabeth nodded, handing over the gun, knowing she didn’t really have a choice. Ric took the weapon and looked at Elizabeth softly. "I’m really sorry it had to end like this, Elizabeth. I really do love you." And now I'm showing you the door so Shut your mouth I'm not tryin' to hear your lies, no not again "Get out," Elizabeth ordered. She couldn’t stand the look in his eyes. The depth of his depravity made her sick to her stomach. Ric backed up slowly, but then turned with a glimmer in his eyes. He raised the gun towards Carly. "You never should have messed with me." Elizabeth reacted before she could think. She jumped in front of Carly and shouted, "Don’t shoot!" Ric hesitated. "Elizabeth, what are you doing? Why are you protecting this woman? She’s done nothing but insult you since I’ve known her. She’s pathetic and selfish. She doesn’t deserve your compassion." "I protected you, didn’t I?" Elizabeth threw back at him. Sorry you couldn't be a better man Something snapped inside of Ric. "You can’t hate me, Elizabeth. You were too vulnerable and honest when you told me you loved me. You were in my bed, shouting my name, telling me that you wanted to hold onto us forever." Elizabeth felt her stomach burn with acid. "I loved the man you pretended to be. But he was never real. If you had dropped your vendetta, if you had never taken advantage of Carly, if you had been honest with me, I might have been able to accept you. But you didn’t. You are too obsessed, depraved and twisted. You aren’t even capable of loving me. If you loved me, you would never have been able to do what you did." "That’s not true!" Ric shouted, his hand trembling and his eyes watering. "I can love you. I deserve you!" Elizabeth shook her head in disbelief. "I’m sorry Ric. But like you said . . . if only you were a better man." "No!" Ric said, his lower lip trembling in denial. "If I can’t have you, no one will!" "No!" Carly shouted, seeing what Ric intended. "You can’t kill her!" "Why not?" Ric asked, his voice shaking. "She doesn’t love me." Elizabeth’s eyes darkned and her voice grew quiet. "If you really want to shoot me, do it," she said through gritted teeth. Ric turned back to focus on her. Her insistence confused him. "What?" "Shoot me, Ric," Elizabeth taunted. "Shoot your own baby’s mother." Ric was frozen solid. The room had become still and all eyes were on him. Elizabeth’s admission bounced inside the empty chamber where his heart used to live. Shoot me, Ric. Kill your own baby’s mother. Then his voice. Go ahead and pull the trigger. Kill your own brother. Karma had come back to bite him in the ass, and boy did he feel it. "You’re pregnant?!" Faith exclaimed, glaring at Elizabeth in shock. "What’s wrong, Faith? A few too many shootings making you hard of hearing?" Carly commented. "This can’t be," Ric whispered, his face still trying to register the information. "It’s the truth," Carly said. "So put down the gun and get out of here if you want your child to stay alive." "No, Carly," Elizabeth interrupted. "I am not using my baby as a bargaining chip. I just thought he’d like to know." "When did you find out?" Ric asked. "The night after I found you and Faith on the docks," Elizabeth said, her voice calmer than it should have been. "Were you ever going to tell me?" Ric asked, trying to hold onto his anger. Elizabeth didn’t hesitate. "Eventually," she replied. "But first I had to deal with what I just found out about you." "Elizabeth you can’t keep me from my child," Ric insisted. "We have to raise this baby together. It needs a father. I want to give this baby the life I never had." "I don’t care what you want. This baby is growing inside of me and I’ll decide what’s best for the baby until it is old enough to decide for itself," Elizabeth said, indignantly. Ric’s eyes narrowed. "I won’t let you take this baby away from me. If you try to fight it, I’ll take you to court and I’ll win. You know I will. If you try to run away, I’ll find you." "Weren’t you just saying something about loving Elizabeth?" Carly mocked him. Meanwhile, across the hall, an unconscious Jason was oblivious to the threat to the other half of his soul. His mind was overwhelmed with his regrets and his mistakes. These regrets and mistakes had broken his connection to Elizabeth. You know my soul You know everything about me there’s to know Elizabeth. Even when he slept she was there. She was the first person to ever make him dream, the only person. He didn’t know if it was a gift or a curse. On the one hand, he could imagine her when she wasn’t there. On the other hand, he could imagine her when she wasn’t there. Right now, it was more of a curse. Her smile would sneak up on him in his dreams. The way she laughed. The way she tucked her hair behind her ear. The way she would tilt her head when she looked up at him. All these images seemed to haunt him so that peace was but a distant memory. There was only one person he had ever known who could see into his soul, straight through without any effort at all. He didn’t have to explain himself. He didn’t have to tell stories or have long drawn out discussions on life’s strange ways. She just knew. She just understood. You know my heart How to make me stop and how to make me go She knew when he hurt and she could see what he couldn’t show. He could hide in himself and she would know that it wasn’t what he really wanted to do. He could push her away and still she came back fighting. Until she pushed away and he didn’t fight back. With one look, she could make his heart pound with overwhelming emotion. One look could have him feeling completely loved. One look could also shatter his heart and destroy him from the inside out. In his dreams, she would choose him first. She wouldn’t go to Lucky and she wouldn’t have slept with Zander. She would have taken his hand and run off to Italy with him. In his dreams, she would come back. She would forgive him for his lie and she would stay by him. But his dreams were lacking. The woman he loved wouldn’t have given up her first love so easily. The woman he loved would not turn her back on someone who was in her heart. The woman he loved would have been loyal. She wouldn’t have taken his hand. The woman he loved would never put up with being his last consideration. The woman he loved wouldn’t have come back after he lied. She would have stood tall, fought hard and demanded more. She was Elizabeth. His dreams were only that . . . dreams. They were illusions and fabrications of what he thought he wanted. Dreams were easy. It was reality that was hard. Jason never liked anything that was easy anyway. In the penthouse across the hall, the tensions were rising. "I am not going to hide, Ric," Elizabeth said, her chin raised. "You just try and take this child and you will be up for the fight of your life. Win or lose, you won’t come out of this without a few scratches to remember me by." "Can I shoot her already?" Faith asked, exasperated. Faith sneered. "Fine." "So what are you going to do, Ric?" Carly asked. "Are you going to kill your own child?" "No, that’s Sonny’s thing," Ric snapped back. "What are you talking about?" Carly said. "His child with Lily, your child with him, they all died because of the life he chose," Ric said. "He killed his own children, not me." "He had nothing to do with me losing our baby. It was an accident," Carly said. "He had the baby with you, didn’t he?" Ric said through gritted teeth. "That was putting it in danger to start with." Carly had to restrain herself from ripping his throat out. However, even through her anger she knew she could hurt her child or Elizabeth by acting out. Ric had the gun and for this moment he had the power. Elizabeth moved into his line of sight, knowing that she had to distract him. "So what are you going to do, Ric? You can’t force me to give you the baby now. It’s not even born yet." "No, but I can force you to go with me," Ric replied. He gestured to the guards. "Take her to headquarters, we’re leaving." "You can’t do that!" Carly insisted. "You might hurt the baby if you hurt Elizabeth." "I’m not going to do anything to Elizabeth," Ric replied. "We’re just going to take a little trip." "I won’t let you!" Carly shouted, proceeding towards the dark-haired man. Faith reacted quickly. Moving behind Carly, she pointed the gun in Carly’s back. Faith smiled at the other blonde. "What are you going to do, Carly? You’re pregnant and unarmed," Faith pointed out. Before Carly could respond, Faith took the hilt of her gun and bashed it on the back of Carly’s skull. "And now, you’re unconscious." "No!" Elizabeth yelled. "How could you do that? She’s carrying a child!" "It’s not Ric’s child, what do I care?" Faith laughed. "Ric?" Elizabeth pleaded. Ric shrugged. "Get her out of here." The guards grabbed Elizabeth, but she struggled and fought back hard. She managed to knee two of them and kick the other one in the shin before they were able to gag her and drag her to the elevator. "What are we going to do with her?" Faith asked, pointing to Carly’s unconscious body. "Leave her," Ric said. "She can tell Sonny and Jason what happened. Maybe they’ll finally understand that I’m someone to be reckoned with." "But wouldn’t it be better if we killed her? That would send a much stronger message," Faith insisted, eyeing Carly with a fire in her eyes. Faith was out for blood. Ric glared at her. "Don’t question me. Besides, it’s Jason I want to destroy. I already hit Sonny with the fake rape, now it’s Jason’s turn to feel my power." "How are you going to do that by knocking Carly unconscious?" Faith questioned. "Sonny would care more than Jason that you hurt his precious wife." "Not Carly, you idiot. Elizabeth," Ric explained. "He’ll be completely devastated to find out that she’s carrying my child. I’ll have what he’s always wanted and there’s nothing he can do about it." "Him and Little Miss Angel of the Diner?" Faith questioned. "What’s with him and waitresses?" Ric shook his head at Faith’s incompetence. "Courtney was just a distraction. He never actually wanted her. Why do you think I’ve been concentrating on the brunette? She’s always been his weakness. Didn’t your husband teach you anything? Elizabeth was the one he kidnapped last year to get to Jason." Faith looked shocked. She then said sarcastically, "Sorry, he died before we could discuss his latest miscalculation." "Well, now you know. Elizabeth has been the key to breaking Jason and I am finally able to use it," Ric smiled. "I always wondered why you were so focused on Elizabeth," Faith said. "I thought bobble-head was just a fling for you. It never really hit me why you didn’t go after Courtney when she was the obvious target to Morgan." "Faith, Faith, Faith," Ric chanted. "First lesson in the art of war. Know your enemy." You should know I love everything about you Don’t you know Jason turned in his bed, his rest feeling . . . well, restless. His mind was plagued with all the times he hesitated, all the chances he had to tell her how he felt. He loved her for so long, but he never had the strength to tell her. He risked his life everyday with his job, but he was never good at risking his heart. He never really had to until Elizabeth. He knew Robin loved him, and Carly, well she practically threw herself at him in the beginning. With Elizabeth, there was always doubt. All the times she told him that she loved someone else, cared for someone else, it all built up this wall around his heart. Fear wasn’t something he dealt with well. In fact, he didn’t really deal with it at all. So he never said anything. He kept everything inside, pushed her away and managed to lose his only chance at winning her heart. She had offered it to him but he had stomped all over it. Now he wouldn’t get the chance to mend it. Suddenly, a crash broke through his dreams. Jason sat up, startled by the noise. "What the---?" His brain went on full alert and he jumped out of his bed. Grabbing a gun, he raced down the stairs. He waited for a moment, but he didn’t detect any movement in his penthouse. He then proceeded carefully to open his doorway. Peering out into the hall, he noticed that the posted guards were knocked out cold. Something inside of him was trembling with fear. This was more than just a random hit from one of the families. He moved towards the other penthouse, checking on the other guards on the way. They were all unconscious but still alive. He walked to the open doorway of Sonny’s home, his gun cocked and him ready to shoot. As he looked into the room, everything looked normal. It looked empty and that was what scared him. Where was Sonny? Where was Carly? That was when he saw her. She was crawling out from behind the couch, a vase shattered next to her. He rushed to her side and offered his support. "Be careful," he said. "Don’t touch the glass." Carly murmured something that he couldn’t decipher as she took his arm and tried to stand. Finally, her body gained enough strength and she leaned on him for support. "Ric," she whispered. Jason’s body tightened in anger. "I’m sorry, Carly. I should have taken him out weeks ago," he said. "It’s not your fault," Carly replied. "No, it is. What did he do to you?" Jason asked. "Nothing, it was Faith," Carly explained, her eyes starting to droop shut again. "She was here too?" Jason questioned. "Did they get Sonny?" Carly shook her head, still barely conscious. Jason looked at her with confusion. "Why were they here?" he asked her. It seemed trivial for them to come by and knock Carly out and then leave. "Did they take something? Steal something?" Carly nodded. Okay, that made sense, Jason thought. But the only thing Sonny kept in the penthouse was money and Ric didn’t care about money. Not enough to risk his life. "What did they take?" he asked. Carly’s eyes were shut and Jason thought she had fallen unconscious again. He knew he should take her to the hospital, but before he could get the phone, he felt her tug on his shirt. "What is it Carly? Is it the baby?" he asked softly. Carly shook her head. "Elizabeth," she whispered. Jason stared at her. "What do you mean? You want me to get Elizabeth?" He thought she was delusional after the head injury. Carly quickly responded. "No, no." "What is it then?" Jason asked, a frantic panic growing in the pit of his stomach. Carly felt herself drown into the darkness again but she fought to stay conscious. "She was here. Ric and Faith . . . they took her." And then her eyes dropped shut again. Jason stared at her, not absorbing what she had just said. He had just been dreaming about Elizabeth. How could she have been here? "Carly, wake up. You have to tell me what happened," Jason insisted, shaking Carly. He knew it was futile. Carly wouldn’t be able to tell him anything else. He quickly called an ambulance but his mind was racing with the possibilities. He didn’t want to imagine what Ric and Faith had done to Elizabeth, but he couldn’t help it. Fear overtook him and a panic like none he’d ever known filled his every nerve. Elizabeth was alone with that monster and his psychotic partner. He had failed her again. Across town at Faith’s hidden headquarters, the guards finally removed Elizabeth’s gag and blindfold. Ric was discussing something with Faith and Elizabeth was trying to figure out a way to escape. Tugging at the ropes tied around her wrists, she hoped that she could somehow slip out of them and run towards the doorway. "Don’t bother," Ric said, turning to her after handing Faith the map in his hand. "There’s no way out of here. There are guards surrounding this building and there’s no one living here for miles." Elizabeth glared at him. "Do you really think you can keep me here? Kidnap me, lock me up, keep me restrained for nine months?!" "You’ll learn to adjust," Ric said, his voice distant. "You’ll realize that I’m just doing what’s best for us. For the baby." "You know what, Ric? You’re a sick bastard and I’m sorry you’re too twisted to see it," Elizabeth snapped at him. "You should be thanking me," Ric said, gripping her face in his hands. Elizabeth turned her head and twisted out of his grasp. "Don’t touch me." Ric raised an eyebrow. "I’m saving you from your pathetic life in Port Charles. I’m offering you a life with me. Family and love. Two things you want but don’t have." That I’m thankful For the blessings and the lessons That I’ve learned with you by my side "I am thankful," Elizabeth said. "But not for the reasons you just said." Ric looked at her curiously. "Oh yeah, then why?" "You showed me the kind of man you really are by kidnapping me. If I didn’t know you were slime before, I know now," Elizabeth smirked at him. "You are so sad. You can’t earn people’s respect so you make them your victims. You don’t have anyone to love you, so you threaten them into submission." Ric glared at her, his fists clenched tightly. "Thank you, Ric, for teaching me that what I thought I wanted was nothing but a disguise for something disgusting and cruel," Elizabeth continued. "You made me realize that a man who spends too much time, is willing to give up too much for me, must have a hidden agenda. All that attention and consideration when you were really using me. I thought I wanted someone who made me his first priority, but I was wrong." Ric turned away, refusing to look at the sincerity in Elizabeth’s face . . . the clarity of her eyes. "I thought you were the man I wanted. A man who could tell me all his misgivings and fill me in on all his plans. A man who needed me to protect him and needed me to defend him. Turns out, a man who would do all that, would only do it for all the wrong reasons," Elizabeth explained. Ric gripped the edge of the table beside him until his knuckles turned white. "You loved that man," Ric whispered angrily. Elizabeth sighed. "I thought I did. I imagined that I wanted the man who wouldn’t let me walk through that door. Turns out he’s just selfish and doesn’t love me enough to let me live my life. I want the man who will let me go because he’s THAT unselfish and loves me THAT much," Elizabeth spoke clearly. "So thank you, Ric. You made me understand how wrong I was." That I’m thankful For the love that you Keep bringing in my life In my life The paramedics were rushing in and out of the penthouse, but Jason barely noticed. He just needed Carly to wake up. He needed her to tell him how to save Elizabeth. Elizabeth, he realized, was the key to his life. He couldn’t lose her. Not now, not EVER. Sitting there in full panic mode, he kept thinking of all the times he had pushed her away. He realized that his life and the danger that came with it weren’t the only things threatening to her. Being without her hadn’t kept Elizabeth safe. He knew that now. His fists clenched and unclenched until he felt he was going to burst. That was when Sonny stormed into the penthouse. "Where is she?" Sonny shouted. "Where’s my wife?" "She’s still unconscious, sir," a paramedic explained to the mobster. "We’re trying to treat her head injury right now. We haven’t moved her, but we might have to take her to the hospital." "That’s fine. Whatever she needs, just make sure she’s okay," Sonny said, his voice trembling. "Sonny," Jason said, making his presence known. Sonny’s head snapped in Jason’s direction. "What happened Jason? How did they get to her? I had guards on duty. No one should have gotten past them." "It was Ric," Jason said through gritted teeth. You know, the brother you couldn’t kill. "Why did he do this?" Sonny questioned, realizing how his obligation to family had caused him to fail Carly. "He didn’t, Faith Roscoe did," Jason explained. "I don’t understand," Sonny said. "What did Faith want with Carly?" "Nothing, they were here to take Elizabeth," Jason said bitterly. "Where is she? Is she okay?" Sonny asked. Jason was slightly surprised by Sonny’s sincere concern. He answered, "They kidnapped her." "Why did they want her? I thought she and Ric were dating," Sonny said. "Elizabeth was defending him at the hospital last time we spoke. And what was she doing here with Carly?" Jason shook his head. "I don’t know. Carly probably knows, but she’s still unconscious." Sonny looked at his friend with sympathy. Sonny knew how much Elizabeth meant to Jason. He knew even when Jason denied it and turned to his sister. It angered Sonny at first, but Jason was more his brother than Courtney was his sister. If Jason hurt less with Courtney then Sonny wouldn’t interfere. He wouldn’t like it, but he would stop fighting it. But he always knew it was because of Elizabeth. That girl had changed Jason and Sonny knew what that felt like. It was what Carly had done for him. That unwavering devotion and love did things to a man. "She’s starting to wake up," one of the paramedics informed the two mobsters. Sonny rushed to Carly’s side. "Hey, baby, open those beautiful eyes for me." You know my thoughts Before I open up my mouth and try to speak Carly’s eyes slowly opened. "Sonny?" "I’m right here," he said softly. "Everything’s going to be okay." "Elizabeth," she said quickly. "Save her." "Why did they take her Carly?" Jason asked, kneeling beside her. "Ric," Carly said. "The baby." "The baby, it’s okay, Carly," Sonny said. "It is, isn’t it?" he questioned the paramedic next to him. "We can’t tell, sir," the man replied. "No," Carly interrupted. "Elizabeth . . . her baby." Jason’s heart stopped. Sonny stared wide-eyed. "Elizabeth’s pregnant with Ric’s child?" Carly nodded slowly. "He wants the baby. She said no," Carly struggled to say. "So he kidnapped her. Bastard!" Sonny shouted. He turned to Jason. "You have to save her." Jason didn’t respond. His eyes turned cold and hard as steel. "Jason," Sonny repeated. His friend didn’t show any signs of hearing him. Sonny realized that the news of Elizabeth’s pregnancy hit his best friend hard. "Jason," he said softly, reaching for his friend’s arm. "You can’t think about that now. You have to save her. She needs you." That snapped Jason out of his daze. He turned to Carly. "Do you know where they took her?" Carly shook her head, but remembered something. "He said head-headquarters." "Faith’s place in Cantonville," Sonny explained to Jason. "Greg can show you where it is." Jason nodded and quickly ran out. He would find her no matter what it took. You know my dreams Must be listening when I’m talking in my sleep "I know you, Elizabeth," Ric glared at her. "You can’t pretend that I don’t. I’ve seen you, all of you." Elizabeth scowled at him. "You’re disgusting." "You didn’t think so when we made love," Ric mocked her. "We didn’t make love. Just lies," Elizabeth stared angrily at him. "That’s not what you said while you were sleeping," he taunted her. "You told me that you had finally found the man you’ve been waiting for. You said my name over and over again." "Shut up!" Elizabeth shouted. "You’re lying!" "Maybe, maybe not," Ric said. "Do you usually talk when you sleep?" Elizabeth flinched. She didn’t know, but she remembered Jason telling her she talked to herself without her knowing. She might talk in her sleep too. "That’s what I thought," Ric laughed. "Why are you keeping me here? You don’t care about me. You just want this child. Why don’t you wait until I have it and you can kidnap the baby," Elizabeth pleaded. I hope you know I love having you around me Don’t you know "Elizabeth, I’ve been trying to tell you, I want you around too. I want this baby to have a mother. I won’t do what Sonny did to me. I will make sure this baby is loved completely," Ric insisted, leaning closer to her face. "Besides, I kind of like having you around. Maybe when I get bored of Faith . . ." Elizabeth spit directly at his eye as he jumped backwards. "You’ll never get the chance to touch me." Ric glared furiously at her. "You don’t have a choice." "That’s right, Ric. If you aren’t man enough to get it, you’ll have to force me," Elizabeth whispered tightly. "You liked it before. You even came back to me after you knew what I did to Carly," Ric smiled. "Maybe you like it like that." Elizabeth fought against the ropes with all her might. She couldn’t stay here and listen to his lies any longer. For the lessons that, that I’ve learned From the troubles I’ve known "I have been lied to before, Ric, but nothing has ever made me physically ill each time I see the liar’s smug face," Elizabeth said to him. "You may trap me and force me to stay, but I’ll never really be here. You can keep me here, but you’ll NEVER have me." Ric slapped her with a loud smack. "Don’t test my patience, Elizabeth. I could still kill you if you insist on fighting me. I’ll wait until you have the baby and then I’ll let Faith take care of you." "I like that idea," Faith laughed in the background. Ric leaned in closely to Elizabeth. "I’m the reason you’re still alive right now. I wouldn’t make me mad if I were you." "You’re NOT," Elizabeth whispered through gritted teeth. For the heartache and pain Thrown in my way Jason sped through the highways to Cantonville, not seeing the lines or the lights of the other vehicles. Luckily it was late at night and barely any other cars were on the road. Otherwise Jason might have killed himself by now. His mind was racing with the need to find her, to save her and to make sure she’d never be hurt again. For all the pain she had caused him and he had caused her, he still needed her. She was a part of him, the best part of him. He would make her understand, but first he had to rescue her. He swore to himself, when he found Ric and Faith, he would make them pay. Slowly and painfully, he would make them suffer. He would have them begging for death for what they did to Elizabeth. When I didn’t think that I could go on but you made me feel strong With you I am never alone "Elizabeth you need me," Ric said to her. "Without me, what do you have? A job at a small-town diner? A mediocre chance at success with your art? A handful of friends that visit on occasion? I can give you a life with security and we can have a family together. When I first met you, you were so lonely. I could see it in your eyes. Do you really want to go back to that?" "I’m not alone. I’ll never be alone," Elizabeth whispered. "I have Jason." The motorcycle roared past the city to the countryside without regard to danger or patience. Jason had only one goal. Get to Elizabeth. There was a time in his life when he didn’t know her. Didn’t even know she existed. Jason Morgan wasn’t that old, but he had lived a lifetime before Elizabeth. Jason wondered how he made it through without her. His life was filled with color and life whenever she was near. Her friendship and her loyalty were things that changed him. Made the life he had before her seem so gray and lacking. He had loved someone before. Missed someone before. Lost someone before. Walked away from someone before. It just never felt like forever until he loved her. He just had to hold onto that. It was the only thing keeping the anger from exploding through him and sending him and his bike to the edge. She was his anchor and the one thing he counted on. She counted, she was in his heart and all he needed was for her to be here . . . with him. Anytime you feel Like you just can't hold on Just hold on to my love I'll help you be strong Elizabeth glared at Ric, daring him to look away with her eyes. She had surprised herself with her outburst but she meant it. Ric couldn’t touch her now that she knew how much Jason loved her. She realized that all her time running away from Jason had not broken what they shared. It might have faded into the back of her mind, but it was stronger than ever in her heart. Seeing Ric and knowing how much she had been blind to him made her see how hard she had worked to push Jason into her past. She never realized he could never be just a niche on her timeline. He was her everything. He had branded himself into her heart and he was never letting go. Everything he had done for her, all the sacrifices he made and all the pain he went through made her understand. He let her go because he had faith in her to do what she felt right. He gave her freedom. He would always love her more than his need to have her. Something no one else ever understood or was able to do for her. The first person she would think of when she felt lost or afraid was Jason. It always would be. She couldn’t imagine how she had ever lived without him. He helped her by letting her be his strength and showing her she could be who she wanted to be, not for him but for herself. No one could touch that. "Well, I always knew Jason was on your mind when you were with me, but you’ll never have him. He’s moved on and he’s going to marry Courtney and you’ll still be alone," Ric said to her, his anger seething through him. "Jason Morgan and Courtney Cottontail will live happily ever after," Faith smiled. "No one will even remember you ever existed. Just another casualty in a mob war." Elizabeth smiled with a peace she hadn’t felt for a long time. "I know Jason loves me. He always has." "Is that why he was promising his life to Courtney? Is that why he risked his life and his loyalty to Sonny for her? Did he ever do that for you?" Ric asked. Elizabeth shook her head slowly. "He never had to. He knows that I love him just the way he is. I would never ask him to change for me. The only thing I asked of him was to choose himself instead of sacrificing for everyone else." "Is that why you kept calling him a monster and a killer? You told me you thought his crimes were far worse than mine when you fought to protect me," Ric said. "Loss and heartache make you do things you wouldn’t normally do. I fought for Jason a long time ago. Long before he meant this much to me and long before you strutted into this town with your agenda, Ric. We were just friends but I could see his heart and I could see his strength. That was all I needed to know," Elizabeth explained. "I was fighting so hard to make the hurt go away by trying to prove to myself that I hadn’t lost him, that I didn’t need him, but I knew it wouldn’t last. Even if you were real and I trusted you, I could never love you the way I love Jason. You know the woman I’ve become because of him. He never made me, but he showed me how to make myself." Ric gritted his teeth. He hated every word that came out of Elizabeth’s mouth because it proved he had failed to tear her away from Sonny’s enforcer. All the work he had done to make her forget and move on with him hadn’t changed a thing. It was obvious that she still loved Jason. She had never stopped. Elizabeth tilted her head, her eyes voicing her thoughts. "I know his life. I’ve been in it with my eyes wide open since the start. I have been through so much because of Jason but it was all worth it. The danger and the hurt were all worth it because in the end, it meant he was in my life. It was a price to pay for how much he gave me." Ric shifted in his stance, irritated with the devotion in Elizabeth’s voice. How could a common thug mean so much to the woman he had come to love? Elizabeth was always a part of his plan, but the way he felt for her wasn’t. Elizabeth’s eyes shifted, her heart growing heavy. "I hurt him a lot but he never gave up on me, never tried to change me or force me to love him back. He just loved me. Even when I pushed him away, told him I loved someone else or told him that he was a stranger to me, he still cared. He warned me about you because even if I don’t choose him, he still chooses me. He never does things out of spite when he has had plenty of reasons to. That is the kind of man he is." But you're so afraid to lose And baby I can't reach your heart I can't face this world, it's keeping us apart "But he walked away, he let you walk away," Ric reminded her. "Isn’t that what you were so afraid of when we were together? You kept asking me if what we had was real because in your heart you didn’t want to make the same mistake you did with Jason." "It was never a mistake," Elizabeth replied immediately. "It hurt, a lot, but it wasn’t a mistake. I couldn’t understand how he could be with someone else after everything we’d been through to be with each other, but I was blind. He let me go when people I loved before never did. I thought love was the way someone held on and tried again. Lucky did but that was the real mistake. What Jason did was love me enough to respect my choice." "So you think the fact that he moved on, chose Courtney over fighting for you is love?" Ric snorted. "He really does have you brainwashed." Elizabeth sighed. "Of everyone I know Jason deserves love the most. He thought he didn’t have a chance with me so he found hope in someone new. I hated it, but I can’t blame him for it. I told him we were over." "Still doesn’t make it right," Ric said, turning his back to her. "I didn’t think so either. How could anything be right if it kept us apart?" Elizabeth asked herself aloud. "I couldn’t see how a world without him was right, but there was so much I didn’t understand. Now I do, and now I see that we needed that. We needed to see just how much we would go through for each other. We weren’t ready the last time we promised to try. We said the words but we didn’t know enough to keep those promises. Now we do." And I could be the one to show you Everything you missed before Just hold on now 'Cause I could be the one to give you more, let you know Jason pulled up slowly, a half mile away from the warehouse Greg had shown him. It was exactly where Greg had said it would be. It looked strange in the middle of nowhere, but it was also useful in this business. Isolated and private. Jason could tell from where he was standing that it was heavily guarded. At least one man at each entrance. Jason turned off the engine and stepped off his bike. He would have to be careful about things. He couldn’t risk making a wrong move because it could cost Elizabeth her life. Nothing he had ever done in his job had ever mattered so much. The stakes were high and the outcomes were crucial, but it was never personal. His future was inside that building and he wasn’t going to let it go without a fight. He could almost feel her reaching out to him. Even though she said she couldn’t be with him, he would be patient with her. He would save her and let her find her way back to him. He had enough faith in them to see them through whatever kept them apart. The last few years of his life had shown him that he was just learning to live before Elizabeth. He didn’t truly live until he loved her. He crept slowly towards the building, making sure that his plan would work. Taking in the environment around him and the enemies he was up against, Jason took a deep breath. It was now or never. Anytime you need love baby I'm on your side Just let me be the one that can make it all right Elizabeth twisted at the ropes as she stared into Ric’s back. Faith had left the room and she wondered if she could convince him to let her go. It was worth a try. "Why would you want me when I don’t love you, Ric? If you knew I wanted Jason, why did you bother?" Elizabeth asked. "Because if I had you then I had Jason. Jason is the key to Sonny’s whole organization. As much as I hate it, Jason is like a brother to Sonny. Break Jason and you break a part of Sonny. Personally and in his business," Ric said shrewdly. "How did you know about Jason and I?" Elizabeth asked. "Easy. Research," Ric replied simply. "If you dig long enough, you can find out a lot about a person. Joseph Sorel had gone to great lengths to threaten you to get to Jason. He had even put a bomb in your studio to send a message. Years passed and you were still the key to Jason. Faith’s husband went after you for Luis Alcazar, my old boss, to get information on some pier. He kidnapped you when he realized what you meant to Morgan. But both of these men failed. The difference between them and me is that they tried to hurt you to hurt Jason. They didn’t realize that there are more subtle ways to destroy a man." Elizabeth shivered at the tone in Ric’s voice. How could she have been so oblivious? This man in front of her was no adoring, ambitious lawyer. He was cold-hearted and calculated. He had planned this all from the start. Elizabeth just hated the idea that he could succeed at hurting Jason this way. "I was lucky that night when I went to Luke’s," Ric began. "You happened to be there when I followed Sonny and Carly. You never did look like a girl who liked Bourbon." Elizabeth eyes grew wide remembering that night. Ric was smart. He was slow and patient in his pursuit of her. "Another stroke of luck was that you and Jason were on the outs, so to speak," Ric said. "You were so angry that night and I could see how weak you still were for him even if he couldn’t. I knew I had to work quickly, but I was given a little more time when he found that blonde sister of Sonny’s. I still can’t believe my brother is related to that girl. Obviously Sonny got all his intelligence from our mother." Elizabeth managed to slip through one loop in the rope at that moment. "So it was all an act? You charmed me, manipulated me, slept with me and lied to me all to beat Jason?" "Of course. And it was such a sweet victory. You should have seen the look on his face all those times I was with you or when I kissed you. The best was when you defended me to him. It killed him, but he never let it show. Big, bad, cold Jason Morgan could never be jealous of the pathetic little lawyer," Ric said sarcastically. "I bet he’s sorry now." Elizabeth pulled again at the rope, but her wrist couldn’t get past a knot. She needed more time. "You really have a complex, don’t you?" she commented. "I mean, I hate my sister Sarah, but I wouldn’t go to all this trouble just to one-up her." "She didn’t take away your mother. She didn’t push your mother down a flight of stairs to keep you from being born. She didn’t force your mother into a life of being abused. She didn’t cost your mother her only chance at happiness," Ric said, spinning around in anger. "Yeah, I’m sure your mother would have loved a bastard like you for a son," Elizabeth threw at him. She knew Ric’s anger and jealousy of Sonny was his weakness. It always had been. "It would have been better than her abusive son! People love Sonny, are inhumanly loyal to this criminal," Ric said, his voice in full disbelief. "When are you all going to take your blinders off and realize he’s just a well-dressed street thug with no morals or humanity?" "Sonny never claimed to be any of those things," Elizabeth said. "He has never used me to get at someone else or made a woman believe she was raped to further an agenda." "No, but he made young girls strip and gave them drugs," Ric smirked. "He’s a real saint." Suddenly, a shuffle sounded outside the warehouse doors and both of them turned to see the commotion. After a few crashes and pounding noises, the door opened. Faith and three guards walked in with a man in restraints between them. "Look who came to visit, honey," Faith smiled. Ric raised an eyebrow. "Who?" Anytime you need love baby you're in my heart I could make it all right Elizabeth’s heart stopped when she realized. "Jason?" "Give the girl a prize," Faith laughed. "Looks like your hero failed you this time." "How did he find us?" Ric shouted at his partner. "I told you we should have found somewhere more secure." "Relax," Faith replied, taking a seat as her men tied Jason up to a chair. "We have him under control, don’t we?" "His men could be coming in right after him," Ric snapped back at her. "Morgan has always worked alone," Faith said. "A code of honor, or something like that." "Jason," Elizabeth whispered at his seemingly unconscious body. "Please open your eyes. God, why did you have to come? You should have stayed away, stayed safe." Jason started to waken and he lifted his head slightly. He looked over at Elizabeth and said quietly, "Not a chance." "Aww, aren’t they cute?" Faith mocked. "Shut up, Faith," Ric said, noticeably unsettled by the latest complication. "You never think about the big picture. Why do you think your plans always fail? We have to make sure that he wasn’t followed." "Fine, I’ll send a few men out to check on things, but you are way too paranoid," Faith replied. She gestured to a few guards. "Go with them," Ric said. "I don’t trust your goons. They didn’t do anything to keep you safe when Jason grabbed you off of the docks." Faith glared at Ric and walked out. "Fine," she muttered. Ric turned to the two tied up behind him. "Unlike Faith, I know how you really operate, Jason," Ric explained. "You didn’t work alone when her husband had Elizabeth grabbed." Elizabeth looked at Jason questioningly. What was Ric talking about? "Shut up, Lansing," Jason glared at Ric. "You don’t know anything about me." "I’m not scared of you, Jason. Your enforcer act doesn’t work with me," Ric sneered. "I know you went to the police to help you find Elizabeth. Imagine, a criminal going to the PCPD for help. It’s a crazy world when the mob needs the cops to save their girlfriends." Elizabeth gasped. She turned to Jason. "You did that?" Jason didn’t want Ric’s words to affect Elizabeth or him, so his face remained cold. "They didn’t help," he said simply. "So that must be why you tried to use ELQ’s resources?" Ric asked. "Seems your grandfather had a search run for all the warehouses and buildings owned by ELQ for you." "Only after he blackmailed me into coming for dinner," Jason said. "But he didn’t help either." I look into your eyes And I feel it coming through I can't help but want you more than I want to Elizabeth felt her heart pounding. Her heart grew tender as she realized just how much Jason loved her. He went to people he despised. She thought he would rather die than ever let them see him weak. She could never imagine him going to them for help. The depth of his love brought tears to his eyes. Jason’s heart twisted, seeing the tears. Had Ric managed to hurt her? Jason was going to kill the bastard as soon as he was free of these ropes that bound him to the chair. Ric glared at both of them, seeing how their eyes locked. It was like he wasn’t even there. "Jason, I never knew," Elizabeth whispered through her tears. "I-I can’t believe you did that for me." "I had to," he answered. "You were hurting because of me. I had to find you." "Because you were guilty?" Elizabeth asked even though her heart knew differently. "No, because you needed me," Jason said. "I did feel guilty, but I also didn’t want to imagine losing you. All I knew was that I had to get you back and I didn’t really think about who it was I was asking to help me. It all didn’t matter because if it helped at all, it would be worth it." Elizabeth felt her wrist fall free from the ropes as Jason confessed his heart. She had forgotten her struggle with the ropes as she learned the extent of Jason’s sacrifices for her. She looked deep into Jason’s eyes and communicated something only he would understand. "I never knew," she admitted. "You’ll never know how much it means to me that you did that." "I do, because you made sacrifices for me," Jason said. "You have pushed away people you loved for me. You chose me long before you knew me that well." "But I’ve hurt you," Elizabeth replied. "I put you after Lucky, after Zander and then I walked out on you when I told you I could handle your life. I made my promises a lie." So baby take all of your fears And cast them all on me That's all I ever wanted was just to make you see "Lucky was your first love, like Robin was mine. I love you more for how deep your devotion was for him. As for Zander, he was a mistake for you and it hurt like hell when you were with him, but you are human and I don’t want someone perfect. You’re a loyal friend, a fierce defender of the people you love. You walked out because what I did wasn’t right for you. You didn’t pretend with me, didn’t accept what you couldn’t live with. I would have hated it more if you had stayed when you didn’t trust me," Jason confessed. "I did trust you, Jason. I was just afraid that you didn’t feel as much for me as I did for you. I was so afraid for you, but you didn’t seem to notice it. I was worried about you, but you didn’t understand what that meant, what your lie did to me," Elizabeth admitted. "I wanted you to see, so I walked away." "And I see it now," Jason said. "I love you Elizabeth, and I hurt you by not showing you what you mean to me. I’ll try harder and I’ll do my best not to let these misunderstandings get in our way. You’re it for me, Elizabeth." "The same goes for me," Elizabeth replied. Her eyes looked softly at the man who had her heart and soul. He never asked for it, but he had accepted it without condition. Suddenly, a shot zoomed right between them to hit the solid wall behind them. Both of them turned to find Ric pointing a gun in their direction. "Enough," Ric declared. "Elizabeth is going to be with me until she has her baby. Then I’ll make sure she stays with me or else she dies. Either way, you two will NEVER be together." "Don’t you ever shoot at Elizabeth," Jason threatened, lunging forward in his seat. "Or you’ll what? Tell me you’ll kill me? Threaten to hurt me?" Ric laughed. "Your M.O. is pretty transparent. For a mob enforcer you sure can’t carry through." "The only reason I spared you was because of Sonny," Jason said. "And I thought you wouldn’t hurt Elizabeth." But I could be the one to give you All that you've been searching for Just hold on to my love And baby let me give you more Elizabeth held the ropes in her hands, but she had managed to free herself from them. She planned carefully her next move as Ric and Jason faced off. "Well I guess you won’t get the chance. You should have killed me at Martha’s Vineyard. Aren’t you ever tired of being Sonny’s lapdog?" Ric asked. "You would never understand loyalty," Jason spat at Ric. "That’s just a word people use for blindly believing in someone, to justify not feeling like a fool," Ric replied. "Well, look what that loyalty has gotten you, Jason. It’s gotten you in a place where I can take away everything that matters to you. Now that I have, I think I’ll enjoy watching the life being sucked out of you." As Ric pointed the gun towards him, Jason didn’t even flinch. All he cared about was that if he died, Ric would kill Elizabeth. He couldn’t let that happen. But before he had a chance to react, a streak of color flashed by him. Suddenly, Elizabeth and Ric were struggling on the floor with the gun. Jason twisted harder against the ropes on his wrists and found them loosening quickly. Meanwhile, Elizabeth was blindly fighting against Ric, not really thinking, just knowing that she had to get the gun. They both had a grip over the hilt of the weapon, but it was a fight of wills for the other to let go. Jason freed himself finally, and he leapt towards the two struggling with the weapon. Before he could reach them a shot rang out and echoed against the walls of the warehouse. Jason froze as both of them stopped struggling. Blood was coming from one of them and Jason’s heart pounded with fear. Suddenly, Elizabeth extended her knee in a swift movement to Ric’s stomach. Ric choked out a groan and she had the gun in her hand. She scrambled to get up and pointed the weapon at Ric. "Get up!" she ordered. Jason finally moved and grabbed Ric from the ground. He tied the rope around Ric’s wrists in a tight knot. He noticed Elizabeth stagger slightly out of the corner of his eyes. "Put him over there," Elizabeth suggested, pointing towards her chair. Jason nodded, but noticed something was wrong. "Elizabeth," he said, realizing the red stain on her blouse. "You’re shot." She groaned slightly from the pain. "I’m okay, Jason. Just make sure he won’t get free." Jason threw Ric on the chair and secured him, but ran to Elizabeth the second he tied Ric to the chair. "Elizabeth, lean on me." Elizabeth nodded, taking his arm and putting her weight on him. "No problem." Now there's no way out And I can't help the way I feel Jason took the gun from her hand, and quickly carried her to the table with all the maps on it. He let her sit down and ripped a piece of his shirt to cover her wound. Luckily, it had only hit her shoulder and he was pretty sure it was only a flesh wound. "Thanks," she whispered. He looked at her softly. "How are you feeling?" he asked. She leaned against his shoulder with her forehead. "Not bad, how about you?" she joked. He frowned. "Tell me the truth. What can I do?" "Nothing, just be here," she smiled. "And don’t leave. You’re stuck with me." 'Cause baby I'm the fire And I'll be waiting right here You know the love is real He laughed. "Well I can handle that." "I am just glad you came, even though it didn’t seem like it at first," Elizabeth said. "I didn’t have a choice," he confessed. "I need you in my life, Elizabeth. When Carly told me what happened, all I could think about was that I had to get to you. I had to make sure you were okay because I still had so much I had to tell you. And I don’t talk that much." Elizabeth laughed. "Ooh, ouch," she said as she gripped her shoulder. "You can’t laugh," he smiled. "I can laugh, but not you." Elizabeth felt her heart pound, his words filling her ears, remembering a winter a few years back. A girl was grieving over the loss of her first love and a man who was the first person to ever believe she could save herself was letting her save him. Elizabeth looked up at him with a clarity in her eyes. "I meant everything I said, Jason. I said I couldn’t be with you but it was only because . . . well, I . . ." "Because of the baby," he provided for her. She looked at him in shock. "You-you know?" Jason nodded. "Carly told me when she told me Ric took you." "I’m kind of glad you know," Elizabeth said gently. "I thought that because I had this baby, I had to make sacrifices for it. I had to give you up because there was always a chance you’d walk away again. I needed to make a safe place for my child." Jason’s eyes dropped. "I understand." "No, Jason," Elizabeth said touching his arm. "I’m not going to let you misunderstand this. I wanted an emotionally safe place for the baby. I know you can protect it, I know you’d protect me. I just wasn’t sure if you loved me enough to stick around. But I do now. I have faith in you and what we have. It took me a long time to really see it, but in my heart I knew it. I was just scared." His eyes felt wet with tears. She really meant what she said. "You don’t have to be scared," Jason said, wiping away the tears from her eyes. I want you to feel safe with me." Elizabeth leaned into his chest and she listened to his heartbeat. "I do. I thought I couldn’t be happy with you, but you are the only one I would feel complete with. If I lived knowing that I never gave us a chance, I would be miserable. There would always be that doubt, that missing space that only you could fill. I love you, Jason, and I always have. No one knows me the way you do." Jason held her to him, careful not to pressure her wound. "Elizabeth, I love you in ways I never thought I could love someone. You give my life meaning. You make me feel needed and important. When I look at you, I see my heart. I see my future. You’ve made me want things I never thought were possible for me. You always say that I make you feel free, but I think you do that for yourself. You’ve always been free, Elizabeth, you just had to see it. The way you see life and the way you dream, you shared it all with me. And suddenly, I could do it too. I could hope and dream and love the way you did. I want . . ." Elizabeth smiled, a tear running down her face. "What do you want, Jason? Ask me and I’ll give it to you." Jason stared at her for a moment, not really believing that the beautiful woman in his arms loved him as much as she had admitted. "I want you to be my wife," he said. She pulled away and looked into his eyes. "What?" "Will you marry me?" Elizabeth stared into the depths of his eyes and she knew she was seeing into his soul. For him to ask her to marry him meant that he was ready for something they never had before. Jason was not a man who treaded lightly with words. "Are you sure?" she whispered. Jason tilted his head into her palm. "I know it seems sudden, but it really isn’t. Elizabeth, you are the one I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t want to let you go." "You don’t have to marry me for me to stay, Jason," Elizabeth said slowly. "And I don’t need you to marry me to know that you’ll stay. I love you and I trust you." "I know, but I want to show the world the world that whatever they throw at us, they’ll never break us. I am yours Elizabeth and I want everyone to know that," Jason explained. "But if you aren’t ready, I---" Elizabeth wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him tightly toward her, feeling nothing but the rush of his love. When their lips met, they could only feel each other. The wave of emotion crashed against them and they let it ride. The whole world was sucked away and it was only the two of them. In each other’s arms, in each other’s heart and in each other’s life. Finally. The passion burst in that moment, parting only long enough to take a breath and even then the taste remained on their lips. It was like they were living on the power of that kiss, clinging onto reality through the touch and the sensation of being that close. What if I told you it was all meant to be Would you believe me, would you agree? Elizabeth finally broke the kiss, but her forehead was still leaning against his. She shifted her weight on the desk to look into his eyes. "Jason, you . . . you’re everything to me. I have never had to fight for anyone the way I’ve fought for you. And the fighting was mostly with myself. A part of me was terrified and the other part just couldn’t believe it could be real. I have loved someone before and that was amazing, but it wasn’t like this. To love someone with your heart is rare, but it’s easy. You just know. But to love someone with your soul, that is hard. You have to realize that a part of you will always be with that other person whether you want it or not. You have to open yourself up and be vulnerable knowing that if you lose them . . ." "It’s okay, Elizabeth," he tried to comfort her. "You have me, I’m never going away." Elizabeth nodded, knowing he meant what he said. "When you love someone and the love is gone, it’s only your heart that breaks. It hurts but that mends with time. When you love your soulmate, your heart doesn’t just break; it walks away and takes your soul with it. You are my other half, Jason. I couldn’t trust myself until you walked in and gave me a purpose. You gave me a reason to fight for who I am until I lived my life the way I wanted to live it. And now, Jason, I know what I want. I want to live my life with you. Always. So my answer is yes. I will marry you." Jason couldn’t believe it. She said yes. She really said yes. "I will do everything I can to make you happy, Elizabeth. I want you to smile and laugh and love life, the way you make me love mine because you’re in it." It’s almost that feelin’ we met before So tell me that you don’t think I’m crazy When I tell you love has come here and now "It won’t be hard Jason. Love me is all you have to do," Elizabeth replied, her hands holding his face. She rubbed the side of his cheek with her thumb as she tried to wrap her mind around what was happening. It was like fate had finally decided she could be happy. Like everything they had gone through finally paid off. She had her destiny in front of her and he wasn’t going anywhere. "And I can do that," he smiled, putting his arms around her, careful not to touch her wound. "You make it easy." "What happens when we step outside these walls? Being with you was easy, but it’s always been safely in our own world, Jason. We’ve always been able to love each other when nothing else could touch us," Elizabeth said gently. She hesitated. "I can’t lose you to it again. I can’t let go so that the real world can step in." Jason shook his head. "We made mistakes, but we’ve always loved each other. I think a part of me has always been with you, even before I met you. The way you understand and the way you listen like you know me, all of me . . . it has to be stronger than whatever tore us apart. Because look at us, here we are again. Together." Elizabeth felt a tear slip from her eye, knowing that Jason was right. They had gone through hell and back, apart and together and here they were again. In each other’s arms. The way it should be. A moment like this Some people wait a lifetime Jason continued slowly. "I never used to believe in much. I did my job, I protected my family and the people I love and it felt right at the time . . . until I met you and then everything changed. Things that weren’t there before started to be things that I missed when you weren’t around. I didn’t have anything to dream about or believe in until you. Now soul mates, destiny, fate, all of it, they aren’t just words people say that I pretend to understand. I feel it in my heart and only with you." Elizabeth could feel her heart pounding inside her chest. Jason’s words were more than she ever dreamed he would say to her. "I love you" would have been enough. "Jason, I spent so much time trying to make it seem like you were just some guy I was interested in who hurt me and who I lost. But it didn’t even begin to cover it. Inside I was dying knowing that you were gone. I am not going to hide from you anymore. I love you and I want you to know that everything you just said just makes me love you more. Every time I think my heart can’t stretch any farther, you do something or say something that just pulls me closer to you. How do you do that, Jason?" For a moment like this Some people search forever For that one special kiss Jason could see the vulnerability and trust in her eyes. He had been waiting for this moment for so long. "I don’t know how or why, Elizabeth. I’m just happy that I do, because you do that for me. You’re beautiful, strong, funny and more than any words can define. When you tell me how much I mean to you, I can hardly believe it. How could anything I do mean anything to you?" Elizabeth leaned forward and kissed him again, hoping that something her mind couldn’t express could still be felt between them. She had been through so much to get here, but now that she was, she was never letting it go. "Jason I wish there was a way I could show you everything you’ve done to change my life, but I’m hoping that we’ll have the rest of our lives to learn how." Jason grinned, his eyes following hers. "I will spend the rest of my life giving you everything you deserve. Whatever you want, I’ll make it happen for you. You gave me the dreams. I’ll make them come true." Elizabeth nodded. "I believe you, Jason. I completely and wholeheartedly believe you can." Jason pressed his lips to her forehead, then her temple, then her cheeks and finally her lips. He had forgotten the rest of the world. He only knew one thing. He loved Elizabeth and he would spend the rest of his days proving it to her. "Freeze! Police!" a voice echoed through the warehouse walls. Jason and Elizabeth both turned to find Mac Scorpio, Lt. Taggert and several other officers rushing into the building. To their shock, Ric Lansing was standing right behind them with a gun pointed in their direction. "Put down the gun," the commissioner ordered. Ric laughed. "Shoot me and I’ll kill both of them before you even reach for the trigger." The craze in Ric’s eyes terrified Elizabeth, but she could feel her instinct pull her forward before Jason could react. Two shots fired into the air and a commotion broke out. Police officers swarmed the building and several rushed towards Ric Lansing. He fell before they could reach him, but he had managed one shot. "Elizabeth!" Jason shouted. His voice silenced the entire warehouse. Oh I can’t believe it’s happening to me Some people wait a lifetime For a moment like this The paramedics rushed into General Hospital, a twice-bulleted Elizabeth Webber on the gurney between them. Bobbie Spencer stared in shock at the wounded woman and Tony Jones shook his head at yet another mob war victim. "Is she going to be okay?" Jason shouted to anyone who would listen. "Jason, we’ll take care of her," Bobbie said gently, leading Jason towards the waiting room. "I have to go with her," Jason argued, pushing towards the operating room. "I promised I would never leave her." "You need to give the doctors room, Jason," Bobbie insisted. "You won’t be able to help her by getting in their way and worrying." "I’m not worried, Bobbie, I’m scared as hell," he corrected her. "This can’t be happening." "You don’t know how bad it is," Bobbie said. "It could be just a flesh wound. Elizabeth’s a fighter. She’s cheated death before. She can beat this too." "It was supposed to be me," Jason whispered. "She was trying to protect me and she got hurt because of it." "Do you think Elizabeth would want to hear you talking like that?" Bobbie spoke sternly. "She saved you because she loves you. Don’t make what she did be in vain by blaming yourself." "I wasted so much time, Bobbie," he said. "I finally told her how I felt, but there wasn’t enough time! We’re supposed to be together. We promised each other." "And you’ll probably have the rest of your lives to keep those promises," Bobbie reassured him. "You don’t know what I did to her, Bobbie," Jason confessed. "I spent these last few months with someone I don’t love instead of being where I should have been. With Elizabeth." "She must have forgiven you or else she wouldn’t have made those promises," Bobbie commented. "I just love her so much," Jason said softly. "I can’t lose her. There is so much I still need to say and so much I still need to give her. God, I feel like such an idiot. I said these same things when that car hit Courtney, but I never realized why it felt so empty. I felt like this is what I’m supposed to feel when the woman I love has gotten hurt. But I didn’t really understand how it would kill me inside like this. I need her more than I’ve ever needed anyone, Bobbie." Bobbie put her hand on Jason’s to comfort him. This grown man looked like a lost little boy when he spoke. This wasn’t the same man who had been here a few months ago during that car accident. This man looked like someone had ripped his heart out and stomped on it for good measure. "She needs you too, Jason. I could never understand why she was so angry with you that night Ric was shot. Now I do. You’re in her blood and she’s not letting go without a fight. I know Elizabeth. If you finally told her that you love her, she’ll fight back. You give her something to live for, Jason." "She’s done the same for me and now I don’t know if I’ll have the chance to make sure she knows it. How many times have I said the words to someone else instead of her? I never pretended or said what I didn’t mean until I lost Elizabeth. Then I tried to force myself to believe in things that weren’t real because I was terrified that when she walked away, my whole life was over. I did things, made myself think I felt feelings that weren’t there. I never lied to myself before. I didn’t know I could. But that’s another thing Elizabeth showed me. Denial," Jason sighed. Just then, Dr. Jones walked into the waiting room. "Bobbie, they need you to call her grandmother. She’s lost a lot of blood and they want to know what they should do." "Do what you need to save her!" Jason shouted. Bobbie grabbed Jason’s arm. "We will," she promised. "Elizabeth needs you to be strong." "She’s my strength! Tell me how can I be strong when she’s in there and I can’t help her?" he demanded, pointing towards the operating room. Bobbie looked sadly at a man she saw grow up right in front of her eyes. He finally understood love and she couldn’t help but feel proud of him. She knew when he had panicked the last time, it was a sign of how he had changed, but this desperation was something she knew only true love could bring out of him. "You can stay here and wait for her to heal. I’m going to call Audrey but you have to promise me you’ll let the doctors do their jobs. You can’t always be the one to save her, Jason. Sometimes you have to let other people do it for her." Jason nodded, but the pit of his stomach burned with fear. Hours later, Audrey and all of Elizabeth’s friends had arrived. Nikolas and Lucky were huddled in a corner, their eyes wet with tears and strained with worry. Zander and Emily were sitting next to Elizabeth’s grandmother whispering words of comfort while leaning on each other for strength. Even Sonny and Carly had shown up. Carly had rushed to the hospital after hearing the news, feeling guilty for not being able to protect Elizabeth. Sonny blamed himself for not stopping his brother before it had gotten this far. They both looked solemnly at the man standing in the shadows. Jason stood outside of Elizabeth’s hospital room. He stood and he waited. The blood transfusion had been done immediately. Elizabeth’s blood type was common and the hospital had a ready supply after the high school blood drive the week before. The operation had cleaned out the exit wounds and fleshed out the contaminated blood. Elizabeth was then hooked up to machinery and was currently being evaluated by the nurses. Finally the door opened and everyone rushed to find out the status of Elizabeth’s health. Eyes turned to Dr. Jones as he looked soberly at the group of loved ones. He cleared his throat. "Elizabeth lost a lot of blood, but the bullets went through cleanly and missed any major arteries." Elizabeth’s friends breathed a sigh of relief while Audrey held onto Emily’s arm for support. Audrey then asked, "How is she now? Is she stable?" Dr. Jones took a deep breath. "She’s stable, but things are very uncertain. Like I said, she lost a lot of blood. She was unconscious for a long time since the ambulance took so long to get to General Hospital. We can’t be sure how Elizabeth will heal if she even does heal. It’s up to her now, we did what we could." Jason lunged at Tony, pushing him up against the wall. "You’ve saved people including me before, but you can’t do anything to help Elizabeth?! Stop lying!" Sonny pulled Jason off of Tony and whispered calmly. "Jason, he did his best. We all care about Elizabeth here, you just have to have faith." Jason shoved Sonny off of him. "You never cared about anyone but yourself. God, what happened to you Sonny? You wouldn’t even be here if Carly didn’t have a sudden pang of conscience." Carly put her hand on Jason’s shoulder. "Jason, you know that’s not true. Sonny’s always cared about Elizabeth. He has been generous to her and helped her when she needed him." "Then where was he all those nights she lay awake worrying if I was grieving over his so-called death? Where was he to comfort her when she thought we didn’t care about her? Huh?! Where WERE you Sonny when she needed the TRUTH?!" Jason shouted. Sonny averted his eyes, feeling ashamed for what Elizabeth had gone through. He didn’t have an excuse. He just never considered how it would affect her. With Ric hassling him, Courtney and Jason’s affair, Carly’s pregnancy and Scott Baldwin on his case, he just never considered the brunette who had held him when he had lost his child. The one who had taken care of his best friend when he couldn’t. The strong, young woman he had held when her life had come crashing down around her because of another fake death. He just never considered what it would do to her. He should have remembered. Carly looked sadly at her best friend. He looked so broken and helpless. Jason was always the strong one. The one who fixed all her problems and took care of her family. Now, she had to take care of him. She gestured for everyone to leave and put her arm around Jason. "You should go see her." "I-I can’t," Jason’s voice trembled. Carly nodded. "I know you’re scared, Jason." Man, those words sounded strange together. "She needed me and I let her walk away. She was calling out to me and I never noticed. How could I not notice her, Carly? She is my life," Jason said, his tone defeated. "I know it’s hard, Jason. But you can’t feel sorry for yourself or waste your time on regrets. She needs you now, so do the right thing and go in there. Be there for her even if you don’t think you’re strong enough," Carly instructed him. "Don’t let fear stop you from being the man she loves. You are each other’s strengths, Jason. You are at your best when you are together and that’s what she needs right now. The best." Jason looked at Carly, his eyes brimming with tears, but also glittering with shock. "Why are you being so nice about this? You never liked Elizabeth." Carly sighed. "I was jealous of her, Jason. I couldn’t understand how she could give you something I couldn’t. I didn’t realize how strong she really is and how much she cares for you. I love you Jason, but not the way that she does. Not the way that you need. That’s the difference between me and Elizabeth. I love you for what you have done for me. She loves you just for you. Even when you weren’t there, she still loved you. You pushed me away once upon a time and I let you run away. She never did." "I love her," Jason whispered. "More than I knew I could. I tried so hard to make a life without her, but I should have realized how much I needed her." "So go in there and show her," Carly encouraged. "Sit next to her and just listen to her breathe. Have faith that she’ll come back to you. All you have to do is try." Jason nodded and stood up straight. "Thanks, Carly." Carly smiled. "It’s the least I could do. For you and for her." Jason turned and walked slowly into the hospital room. He braced himself for what he might find inside. Everything changes but beauty remains Something so tender I can’t explain Jason’s heart stopped as he saw the frail body bundled beneath the stale white sheets. Her porcelain skin was a murky white now, moist with sweat and paler than he had ever seen it. He felt his heart pound and his skin tighten with each step. He never wanted to see her in pain and it burned to know she was there because of him. She had loved him more than he thought anyone could and now she had paid the price. Still, beneath the sickly air in the room, he could still feel her heart pounding. Light and slow, but still beating. It was beautiful like she was. Even injured and unconscious he could still see the beauty of her presence. He reached out to touch her, hoping that it would bring a part of her back to life. Even if just or a moment, he needed that connection. He rubbed her forehead with his thumb and brushed back a strand of wet hair. The machines buzzed rhythmically while the air seemed to thin with each breath he took. "Elizabeth, please. Open your eyes. I need you to show me those beautiful eyes that always seem to smile even when they shouldn’t. Those eyes that forgave me when I didn’t deserve it. The ones that set fire when you’re angry and soothes away all my problems with a laugh. Please show me you’re still here. I need you to be here. I need you to get through this." Elizabeth remained still, her breathing shallow and her heartbeat still faint and slow. Jason sat on the chair beside her bed and he reached out to hold her small hands that fit so perfectly into his. "We waited so long to find our way back. I don’t even remember why we were apart in the first place. You told me that you wished you had gone with me to Italy, but I don’t want you to regret anything. You were right to let me go. I needed to leave to really understand how much I needed you. I didn’t fight for you before because I didn’t know how. Everything I have ever done, I was taught. Until you came along and suddenly I could do things I never could before. Remember when I told you what it was like to be a father and how I could suddenly do things no one taught me? You make me feel that kind of love too, but so much more. I could let Michael go because his happiness was more important to me. But I can’t let you go Elizabeth. I know I can make you happy if you’ll let me. All you have to do is open those eyes and tell me." Her heartbeat steadied but she still didn’t move. Her skin remained that ghostly white and sweat beaded on her forehead. Jason squeezed his hand tighter around hers, hoping for a sign, a reaction, anything. "When you wake up, I’m going to take you on a ride anywhere you want. We’ll go on the cliff road and take all the sharp turns. I’ll even let you drive. Just, please, wake up," he pleaded. Elizabeth didn’t stir. Not even a twitch or a flicker of life. "There is so much I have to show you, Elizabeth," he said, leaning forward. "You haven’t had someone give you everything you deserve. I want to be that someone, Elizabeth. I swear I’ll never let you walk away again." Jason didn’t notice, but the heartbeat started to grow rapid and more intense as stroked her palm with his thumb. "I could never forgive myself if you leave before I can tell you everything you mean to me. We’re supposed to get married, remember? We’re supposed to show the world how much we mean to each other. You promised, Elizabeth," he said, tears streaming down his face. He rested his head on her chest, listening closely to the light pounding beneath the blankets. Elizabeth’s eyes fluttered but he didn’t see. "I’ll make you a promise right now, Elizabeth if you keep yours," Jason begged as he strained to hear her heartbeat. "I promise I’ll respect you and listen to you. I promise I’ll try." Well I may be dreamin’ but until I awake Can we make this dream last forever? And I’ll cherish all the love we share Suddenly, Elizabeth’s eyes opened and she gasped a breath of air, gripping Jason’s hand, which was intertwined with hers. Jason sat up immediately, shocked by her movement. "Elizabeth?" Elizabeth composed herself, trying to make out where she was. "Jason?" she asked, hearing his voice in the distance. His heart pounded excitedly as his hope rose. He leaned closely towards her whispering in her ear. "I’m here, Elizabeth. I’m right here." She swallowed, trying to clear her throat, which seemed parched. "Where am I? Is this a dream?" "No, it’s not a dream, Elizabeth," Jason said, his voice choked with happiness. "You’re at General Hospital. You were shot and they had to give you a blood transfusion." Elizabeth’s eyes adjusted to the dim room and she made out Jason’s face. "I heard you," she managed to say. Jason’s eyes grew wide. "You did?" Elizabeth smiled slightly. "I heard you calling for me to open my eyes." Jason smiled along with her. "I am so glad you’re awake." "I didn’t want to wake up. I just wanted to hold onto your voice," Elizabeth admitted. "Everything you said, I loved every word." Jason’s façade melted with her confession. "I meant it. Everything I said was true." "I know, I just wish it hadn’t taken this to hear it," Elizabeth sighed, feeling the discomfort of the wounds through the painkillers. Could this be the greatest love of all? I wanna know that you will catch me when I fall "I won’t let anyone hurt you again," he said, embracing her tightly. After he let go, Elizabeth looked at him, her eyes softening under his gaze. "You can’t promise that Jason, no one can. But I kept my end of the deal, now it’s your turn. Just keep that promise you made me." Jason felt tears rush to his eyes again. "I-I promise, I promise I’ll try. With everything I am." Elizabeth nodded. "That’s all I needed to hear." "I want to make you happy, Elizabeth. I want to keep you safe. I want to give you the life you deserve. But it wasn’t enough before. Just like my job wasn’t enough for me," Jason said, voicing his fears. "It wasn’t enough because we weren’t ready. We didn’t understand what we needed from each other. Now we do and we can try again," Elizabeth smiled. "We’re good at that, aren’t we?" Jason grinned. "After everything, we always start again." "But it’s all worth it," Elizabeth pointed out. "We’re stronger every time because we had to survive so much more." Jason nodded and then looked to the door. "I should call your grandmother and Emily and the rest of them are out there too," he explained. Elizabeth shook her head, holding Jason’s hands to her face. "No, I’m tired. I just wanted to make sure you knew how I felt." So let me tell you this Some people wait a lifetime For a moment like this Jason watched as her eyes closed and her body relaxed. Her breathing steadied and her head fell to the side. His heart pounded as he watched her breathe. The way her face fit into his hand showed him how perfectly she fit him. She was made for him like he was made for her. Things were finally right for them. The woman he loved more than his own life was lying there in that bed loving him more than he thought possible. She believed in him after everything he had done and she understood him better than anyone else did. He could never put words to what he felt for her, but he knew what she did for him. He realized it was enough. Their love was enough. He leaned over the bed and kissed her forehead. He sat down in the chair and placed his hand beside her cheek. He would never forget this picture of her because he had waited his whole life for a moment like this. The small group filed into the church, each smiling to each other, looking forward to seeing the two people they loved most finally overcoming the odds. All the guests shared the same sentiment. It was about damn time. Zander, Lucky, Nikolas and Bobbie came in first, taking up the first row of the right pew. Carly, Michael, and Leticia, along with Francis, Max and Johnny followed them and sat in the first row on the left side. After those groups, Audrey, Monica, Alan and Lila entered and took their respective spots behind the already seated guests. They talked amongst themselves, discussing their flights and the beautiful church in which they were waiting. Meanwhile, in the dressing rooms, a few other conversations were taking place. In the groom’s quarters, two men stood waiting for the groom to get ready. "I never thought I’d ever see Jason sweat from anything but heat," Sonny smiled. Luke chuckled. "Nothing terrifies a man more than the love of a good woman." "Don’t I know it," Sonny nodded, thinking of his own wife. "But I have to say, he has also never been happier." "With a woman like Elizabeth, I don’t think he has a choice," Luke smiled. "Those two sure have something special. When I look at them, I’m reminded of what it’s like to love Laura." "I’m sorry she couldn’t make it," Sonny said gently. "Her spirit is here. She always said Elizabeth was like a daughter to her," Luke reminisced. "I am sure she’s watching over Elizabeth right now." Sonny sighed. "I should have watched out for her too. I did a lot to hurt these two that I didn’t even realize. I am glad a fool like me couldn’t keep them apart for long." Luke nodded. "These two are stronger than either of them realize. Most people don’t make it through a tenth of what they’ve seen. They have an adventure ahead of them, especially when the family starts growing." Sonny smiled. "At least Ric did one good thing before he died. He gave Elizabeth a child that will be loved better and fuller than most children ever get, including him." "Elizabeth was so relieved when she heard the baby survived the shooting," Luke remembered. "She might not have loved the father, but she loves that child." "And Jason will too. Michael’s proof of that," Sonny stated. "Sonny," a voice growled through the wooden door to the private room. Sonny laughed. "And the duties of the best man is calling me." Luke patted him in the back of the shoulder. "Make sure he knows his future is waiting for him out there. I’m not giving Elizabeth away to some wishy-washy street thug." Sonny nodded with a dimpled smile and proceeded into the dressing room. At the other end of the church, two women were discussing the finishing touches to Elizabeth’s hair and makeup. "Stop putting on so much blush," Emily shouted to the other brunette. "More is better," Brenda giggled, adding another layer of rouge. "No, more is just MORE," Emily grumbled, grabbing the brush from Brenda’s hand. "You’re going to make her look like a clown." "Jason doesn’t care. I married him before, remember?" Brenda smiled mischievously. Emily smirked. "Do we have to bring that up again?" "Ladies, please. I would like to be ready before the next millennium," Elizabeth interrupted. "Fine!" the two women shouted in unison, each one daring the other to say something condescending. Emily took the dare first. "Why are you here again?" Emily asked Brenda, grabbing a curling iron out of her bag frustrated by the older woman’s overbearing nature. "Jason called me one night in a panic and I promised I’d help out," Brenda explained. "This is the least I could do to pay him back for the cottage he bought me in France." "Should I be worried that my future husband is buying another woman a house and asking her for advice in the middle of the night?" Elizabeth laughed. "Please, Jason adores you," Brenda said, grabbing a ribbon from her purse. As she intertwined it into Elizabeth’s hair, she added, "A person would have to be blind not to see how much he loves you. He never leaves your side when you walk into a room and when you’re not I can see you in his eyes because he’s thinking about you. He never stops talking about you, well, when he does talk, and he practically falls all over himself when you give him that look." "What look?" Elizabeth asked. Emily and Brenda smiled at each other. Emily leaned over her friend’s shoulder to gaze at their reflection. She replied, "You know, that look. The one you and Jason share whenever you think people aren’t watching." Elizabeth blushed even brighter than the rouge Brenda caked on her face. Emily sighed, pulling the ribbon back out of Elizabeth’s hair as soon as Brenda turned away. "I love Zander, but I wish he would look at me the way my brother looks at you. It’s like magic." "It wasn’t always like that," Elizabeth said softly. "We were too busy being afraid instead of facing our feelings. We wasted a lot of time." Brenda grabbed a brush and ran it through the curls Emily had made, adding height to Elizabeth’s hair. "I like to think that you don’t waste time. You spend time growing." "Wow, did your mother’s disease actually make you smarter?" Emily said sarcastically, pulling the brush out of Brenda’s hand, trying to bring the hair back to normal volume. "Because it might have also helped for you to learn what subtlety means while you were picking up a few extra brain cells." Brenda rolled her eyes, picking up the bobby pins off of the counter. "We can’t all be pouty, uptight drama queens, now can we? Anyway, Jason’s been very generous to me, so I am going to make sure his bride is happy on her special day. I just love weddings!" Brenda exclaimed clapping her hands together. "There goes the intelligence theory," Emily sighed, blocking Elizabeth’s hair with the hair spray to prevent Brenda’s plan to pin it up. "How can you still love weddings after the ones you’ve had?" Elizabeth asked Brenda, trying to sit still as both women fought over her hair. "I don’t know," Brenda shrugged, biting her bottom lip. "I guess I just don’t want to let what happened take away my dream. I still want to fall in love with a man who treats me right and worships the ground I walk on. There are a few glitches I have to work out like last-minute rejection, but it’s all a learning process." Emily smiled, knowing that as much as Brenda annoyed her, Brenda’s heart was in the right place. Elizabeth gazed into the mirror at her reflection and she thought about Brenda’s words. She had spent a lot of her life waiting for the bottom to drop out. She and Jason went through so many obstacles and they were pulled apart right at the last minute every time. But Brenda was right. She shouldn’t let the past take away from her happiness. She was about to marry her soulmate, what more could she ask for? Elizabeth grabbed the tissue on the counter and quickly wiped off the excess color on her face. Satisfied, she stood up from her seat. Elizabeth waved her hands at both women who were bickering over which color eye shadow to use. "I’m ready," she announced. The other two brunettes stopped mid-sentence to stare at the bride. "What?" they asked simultaneously. "I said I’m ready," Elizabeth repeated. "I’m ready to marry Jason." Emily smiled and put her arm around Brenda’s shoulder. "Told you she’d come around." Brenda turned to Emily with feigned shock. "I believe I was the one who said she would." "No, I did," Emily argued, pulling her arm back to her side. "If it makes you feel better," Brenda grinned, turning towards the makeup bag next to her. "I did!" Emily insisted, glaring at the older woman. Elizabeth laughed at the both of them as they continued arguing. She felt so lucky at that moment. She had so many people who cared about her and she was about to marry the man she loved. Life was good. Elizabeth peered down at her stomach, which was starting to show beneath her white dress. "Hey there, how are you?" she whispered. "Guess what? Your mommy is going to finally do something right. I promised you a life filled with love and security and I’m going to keep it." Emily threw a brush at Brenda while shouting some expletives as Brenda ducked and waved her hand in Emily’s face. Neither noticed Elizabeth sitting contentedly on the sidelines. Elizabeth sighed, putting her hand over her stomach. "I thought running away from Jason was the answer, but I was so wrong. He loves me more than anyone ever could and he’s going to love you too. I am not going to make you feel like a sacrifice like my parents did to me. I am going to take a chance and give you a house full of love instead of loneliness. Hopefully my happiness will be yours too. You’re a very lucky kid. You’re not even here yet and there are people just waiting to love you." Elizabeth looked over her shoulder, as the other two women were lost in a heated discussion over who would walk down the aisle first. She smiled and said to herself, "Wish me luck, baby. I’m going to need it!" Meanwhile, Jason was in his dressing room, sharing the space with his own internal chaos. Instead of two bickering women, he had his nerves to deal with. He gazed at the mirror in front of him, seeing his best friend walk into the room. "You okay in here, Jason?" Sonny asked, approaching his friend slowly. "I don’t know," Jason said honestly. "What am I doing, Sonny? I’m a mob enforcer. What kind of life is that for Elizabeth or for her baby?" "Elizabeth knows who you are, Jason and what your job is. You tried to push her away before to keep her safe. Look what happened," Sonny pointed out. "She wouldn’t let me," Jason replied. Sonny nodded. "Exactly. Elizabeth can be just as stubborn as Carly. You just have to learn to love her for it and give in every once in awhile. I hate myself for what I did to separate you two before, but I was wrong. Don’t make my mistake, Jason. Put Elizabeth first." "She’s always been first," Jason whispered. Sonny shook his head. "Has she?" Jason nodded. "I let her walk away because she was right. It would have been selfish to make her stay. I had to respect her choices. Now I’m the selfish one." "You sure you weren’t afraid?" Sonny hinted. "Or too proud to listen to her? Too stubborn to fight for her?" Jason stared wide-eyed at Sonny. "I was afraid, but not for myself, for her. I couldn’t make her happy before, Sonny. How can I be sure I can do it this time? I went off with another woman instead of fighting for us." Realizing his slip, he quickly added, "I’m sorry about---" Sonny waved his hand in dismissal. "She’ll be okay, don’t worry about that right now. You ask me how you can be sure, and this is how. You both love each other. You’re both stronger than you’ve ever been and you understand each other more than ever. She’s a part of you Jason and the more you fight it, the more you hurt. Just stop and let yourself be happy." Jason sighed. "I don’t know how to do that Sonny. I tried before, but it . . . " "It ended?" Sonny finished for him. "Yeah," Jason said softly. "Elizabeth isn’t Robin, Jason. Hell, as much of a spitfire that she is, she isn’t Carly either," Sonny said. "She’s here for the long haul. She’s fought for you and she’s going to stand by you no matter how stubborn you are. And even if she weren’t, would you be willing to give her up out of fear? What has fear done for you besides make you miserable?" Jason nodded while absorbing Sonny’s words. He knew his friend was right. He needed Elizabeth in his life and this time, he wasn’t just going to let her slip away. He was about to marry her. His future would be filled with days of waking up beside Elizabeth and taking care of their children. Their life together would be filled with the incredible highs and the dark lows that only they could make each other feel. Jason stood up from his chair, turning to Sonny. "I’m ready now," he stated, realizing that the only thing in his way was himself. Sonny grinned. "Good, because if you weren’t, I’d have to drag Spencer in here and you know how he can get. Especially in his old age." Jason cracked a smile. "Thanks, Sonny." "You don’t need to say that," Sonny replied. "I owe you for my life, and I don’t mean the fact that I live and breathe, I mean your friendship and the family you gave me. You’re about to start your own now. You can thank me by enjoying it and being happy." "Okay," Jason said, taking a deep breath. He smiled at his friend and nodded, "Let’s go." As the organ started to play, the guests settled in their seats. Jason and Sonny walked towards the priest as the guests looked on. Jason stood straight, more nervous than he had ever been in his life. He looked towards the back of the church and awaited his bride. It was then that he realized what was happening. He was being handed a future and a family tonight. What did he ever do to deserve this? Emily proceeded down the aisle, winning the game of rock-paper-scissors against Brenda. She smiled as she saw all of Elizabeth and Jason’s closest friends and family. She could not have hoped for better for two of the most important people in her life. As Emily neared the front, she noticed the look in Jason’s eyes. She smiled even brighter. Her brother had found true love and she was so happy for him. He used to tell her that he thought he was supposed to be alone. Now he knew better. Brenda stepped formally down the aisle smiling brightly. At least there was no chance of being rejected at this wedding. She looked towards the priest, down to Jason and then to Sonny. Once she had hoped she would be seeing Sonny standing there waiting to marry her. It was a lifetime ago it seemed. Now she barely felt anything. Just a warm reminder of what could have been. When she got closer, she looked back at Jason. Jason was very special to her. As much as they fought, which is where she thought Emily got her stubbornness from Brenda had a place in her heart for Jason. She was glad that Elizabeth could give him the happiness he deserved. As the music paused, the guests stretched their heads to see the bride. The organ began again with a different tune and Elizabeth stepped into view, hanging onto Luke’s arm. Wearing a long white gown with very few frills, it was very much the elegance that captured the woman in it. Elizabeth felt nervous but it all disappeared once she saw Jason standing at the other end of the church. Their eyes locked and she seemed to float right to the front of the building. The guests all watched as the magic between the couple seemed to filter through the room. No one could doubt that they belonged together. Luke let go of Elizabeth’s arm and directed her to her groom. He winked at Jason and took his place behind Elizabeth. The priest began his speech, but neither the bride nor the groom heard a word. They were lost in the trust in each other’s eyes. They had never felt so free as that moment, standing in front of God, promising to love each other for the rest of their lives. "And now the bride and groom have chosen to say their own vows," the priest said, gesturing to the couple in front of him. I wonder how I ever Made it through a day How did I settle for a World in shades of gray When you go in circles All the scenery looks the same Jason grasped Elizabeth’s hands in his. The perfect fit. He looked deeply into her eyes and she looked back at him with an openness he had never seen before. Taking a deep breath, he began his vows. "Elizabeth, you know me and understand me in a way no one else can compare. I am not a man of words or poetry, but I can tell you the truth and you can make it beautiful. When I was thinking of what to say today, I thought about all the weddings I’ve seen before. People usually talk about how they knew they were in love, when it happened and how, but I always wondered how they knew. I can’t take what I feel for you and tell you when I started to feel it or the time when I didn’t. It feels like it’s always been there. Like an empty space waiting to be filled that I didn’t know I had." Jason’s eyes turned serious as he focused on what he needed her to know. He continued, "I tried to pinpoint it to a particular moment, something that triggered it, but I finally realized it wasn’t possible. It’s not the things you did. Being shot, being kidnapped, being threatened by my enemies, those things didn’t make me fall in love with you. They were things that happened. I don’t love you for these events or whatever you want to call them. If I placed it on those things, I would be degrading what we are to each other to moments." And you don’t know why Then I looked into your eyes Where the road stretched out In front of me And I realized Elizabeth felt her heart pound as Jason spoke straight into her soul. His eyes pierced through her the way only he could. She was sure her child felt the power of it too. Jason tightened his grasp on her hands and gave her a look only she would understand. "I told you once that you can’t measure life and I think that the same goes for love. I can’t measure or divide or designate my feelings for you into little boxes marked with yellow tags that say "Saved from the gunshot wound", "Made me eat soup", "Showed me the wind". Those are things we did together, but they don’t begin to explain what you’ve done for me. I love you, Elizabeth, all of you." Elizabeth felt her eyes fill with moisture as she tried to stay composed. She told herself she wouldn’t cry on this happy occasion but her heart was overflowing with emotion. Jason could see her melting in front of him, but he knew for once that joy and not pain caused those tears in her eyes. He smiled at her reassuringly. "What I feel is that something that I’ll never understand. It’s what holds everything I’ve learned from you and everything I love about you all together. I can tell you that I think you’re beautiful, that I think you’re smart and brave and how much those things mean to me, but that would never be enough. What I feel for you is beyond love and passion and all those token words used in the books I’ve read. I don’t know a word for it, and maybe Jason Quartermaine did, but I don’t." Brenda, Emily, Monica, Alan and Lila all felt tears rush to their eyes as he mentioned the man they used to know. There was just one thing they all agreed on. Jason was wrong with what he just said. They knew Jason Morgan understood love a lot better than Jason Quartermaine ever did. I never lived before your love I never felt before your touch I never needed anyone To make me feel alive But then again I wasn’t really living I never lived before your love Jason leaned his head forward and said slowly, "You softened a part of me and you strengthened a part of me too. You didn’t just accept my terms and what was easy because you knew something I didn’t. We couldn’t be together if I lived my life afraid that it would hurt you because that fear would take away all the things that make what we feel what it is. The passion, the risk, and the freedom . . . it would all have disappeared if you didn’t fight for me. Someone taught me how to live once, but I never lived until you loved me." Elizabeth felt a tear stream down her face, realizing that he did understand. Finally. He put his left hand on her cheek and rubbed away the tear with his thumb, but he kept his hand there. "It wasn’t anything you did that made me realize I loved you and I had to fight for you. It wasn’t even a moment. I was just looking at the sky and the way the light of the sun spread through what was black just breathed the truth into me. It showed me that my choice was not whether I loved you but when I could admit it." Elizabeth nodded, leaning into his hand with her face. "We took the long way here tonight, but every step of the way, my heart was with you and you were never too far from me. Even all the times that I went away I knew we’d be together again or I would never have had the strength to leave. There are some things in life you can’t change, but if I could I would have told you how I felt the moment I realized I loved you. You never taught me anything, Elizabeth, but there were many things I learned to do when I was with you. You have shown me what it is to regret. You have shown me what it is to dream and you have shown me what it is to love. Elizabeth Webber, I am not giving you my heart tonight because it hasn’t been mine for a long time. Tonight, I am just promising to respect you, trust you, listen to you and love you for the rest of our lives," Jason finished. Elizabeth smiled through her tearstained face. So much for the attempt at being strong. The look in Jason’s eyes showed her that she didn’t need to be strong for him. He loved her for whatever she wanted to feel. It was now her turn to tell him what was in her heart. Jason stepped closer, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around her, but he stopped himself before he did. She needed to do this on her own and his job was to listen. I wanted more than Just an ordinary life All of my dreams Seemed like castles in the sky I stand before you And my heart is in Your hands Elizabeth took a breath trying to remember what she was going to say. Her gaze turned towards the guests and she saw them all looking up at her with tears in their eyes. Her eyes caught Lucky’s and she decided that she wasn’t going to use the speech she had planned. She remembered that night in the hospital when Lucky had sat by her bedside and she had told him what was in her heart. She realized it was easier to speak from there than from the memory in her brain. She turned back to Jason and smiled. Jason smiled back at her and placed his hand over hers. Elizabeth’s eyes softened as she began. "The trouble with love is that you can't always see what's right in front of you. I took a long time coming," she laughed lightly. "I thought I could be independent. I thought I could do this alone and be stronger than what I felt for you. But I was wrong. Being alone isn’t being strong, it’s just . . . being alone. I need you and my baby does too." Jason brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, urging her to continue. Elizabeth spoke softly, "I was in a really dark place when I was with Ric. A place so low that I couldn't fight my way out. But by some kind of miracle you helped me pull myself out of it. I thought I would spend the rest of my life alone . . . lonely. I made a terrible mistake. I missed the train, the chance to be with you and I thought we were never going to find our way back together." Jason looked deeply into her eyes, willing her to feel how much he loved her for being so vulnerable in front of him and all these people. That was one thing he loved about her. She knew how to be strong, but even more she knew how to be the opposite. She sighed and then looked back up. "Turns out, our love is stronger than that. Something powerful and unexpected that turned my world inside out. You were this beautiful disaster that came crashing into my life, quietly and slowly. I thought that I could live without you but I thought wrong. I am just thankful that you helped me see the light and we are taking this chance together. I know that anytime I feel like my life is too much, you will show me that I can rise above it. You're my strength, my heart and my soul. You are the faith I have in myself. I never imagined I would be with someone like you. I never imagined a moment like this, this feeling of being completely loved. You made the dreams I never knew I had come true." Jason couldn’t feel more loved than he did at that moment. He still couldn’t believe that this beautiful, strong, incredible woman was saying all these things to him. He would never doubt again that their love could conquer all. Elizabeth smiled slowly as she gazed up at him, seeing his thoughts and his soul flash through his eyes. "The way you look at me like I am the most beautiful thing you have ever seen still amazes me. My life was bare before your love came crashing in. I didn't realize it could be like this. I didn't know what it was like to be adored, cared for, protected and above all, believed in." Jason nodded, knowing that she had done the same for him. Elizabeth withdrew her hand from his and touched his face gently. "There are two times in my life that I account for making my world change completely. The first time, I was rescued by someone who could teach me how to survive, how to not be dead inside. But I was never whole until you came along. The second time was when I realized that I loved you. Suddenly my world was warm and beautiful. Instead of surviving, I was living." And I don’t know how I survived without your kiss ‘Cause you’ve given me A reason to exist Jason felt his heart pounding into his chest, wanting desperately to kiss her, to hold her tight and never let go. Elizabeth continued, squeezing his hands in hers. "In you I found something real and lasting. The thing about you that makes me love you is that you let me be. You trust me to make the right choices in my life and you trust that I will find my way back to you. Somewhere along the line, my best friend became the man who owned my heart. I have learned to love before but I was a broken person who never even knew what love was. You made me strong enough to love you completely. I believe I was made for you and you were made for me. You were unexpected, but you are my destiny. You have been in my life for so long, but I never saw what we could be. I couldn't imagine something so incredible," Elizabeth said, her voice drowned in emotion. She paused and then finished, "I will love you for the rest of my life Jason Morgan and I would be honored to be your wife." The silence crashed down on all the people in the room. The tension was heated as the two people standing there were trapped in each other’s gaze. If it was possible to see two souls connecting and being melded into one, the people at that church were witnessing it. The priest finished his formalities, smiling at the couple, never before being so enthralled by the people he was marrying. The priest had been waiting a long time for this. He imagined what it would be like to truly see God’s work bring two soul mates together, but he never dreamed he would be a part of it. It was potent and it was magic. It was Jason and Elizabeth. The two didn’t waver from each other’s sight, neither really hearing anything until the priest said his last words. Gesturing to Jason, the priest pronounced, "You may now kiss the bride." The whole room seemed to still, and all eyes were locked onto the newly married couple. As if in slow motion, Jason leaned his head towards Elizabeth’s as she lifted hers up to his. And then as if in a flash, his lips came crashing down on hers to create something so passionate it was almost inappropriate in a house of God. As lips pressed into one and sensation filled their every nerve, Jason and Elizabeth lost themselves in the moment. This kiss was a promise, a signed contract for their future. One they would have no trouble keeping. And I don’t know why Why the sun decides to shine But you breathed your love into me Just in time Hours later, the kiss still hanging on their lips, they bid their guests farewell. Jason and Elizabeth walked to the limousine, embracing each other and standing close, feeling the power of their strengthened bond. They turned to say goodbye to their family and friends and waved as they left to take their honeymoon in Florence. When they finally stepped into the privacy of their limo, they collapsed in their seats. Elizabeth leaned her head against Jason’s chest as he wrapped his arm around her. They held each other’s hands and gazed at their interlocking fingers. The simple platinum rings glittered back at them. Elizabeth smiled, trying to absorb what had just happened. Elizabeth Morgan, she thought. She was now his wife. Jason placed a kiss on Elizabeth’s forehead and held her closer. "I didn’t think it was possible," Jason whispered. Elizabeth turned her head to gaze up at him. "That we would get married?" she asked. Jason shook his head. "No, for me to love you more than I did that night you were in the hospital after Ric died." She grinned. "I didn’t think it was either. But I think there are going to be a lot of expectations to surpass and rules to bend ahead for us," she said. He looked lovingly at her. "And for the baby too." "And for the baby too," she whispered. "What should I name her?" Jason’s eyes grew wide. "It’s a girl?" Elizabeth nodded. "I found out last week. I thought I’d surprise you." "It’s a good surprise," he grinned. "I thought of a name, but I don’t know if you’ll like it," Elizabeth said, biting her lower lip. He looked down at her and rubbed his thumb against her cheek. "I will love whatever you decide." She paused before answering. "I was thinking I’d name her after the three women I hope she’ll grow up to be like." "Who?" Jason asked, curious. Elizabeth answered, "Your grandmother, Lila, for her limitless ability to be kind and compassionate. My best friend and your sister, Emily for her amazing strength and loyalty. And also, my grandmother, Audrey, for her unconditional support and love." Jason grinned, but raised an eyebrow. "Isn’t that long for a girl’s name? Lila Emily Audrey Morgan?" Elizabeth giggled, kissing him on the cheek. "I thought Lea for short would be easier to write on the birth certificate." Jason smiled and kissed her forehead. "I love it." Elizabeth beamed. "Good, because I was going to name her that either way," Elizabeth teased him. Jason leaned down over her stomach and put his palm above it. "Do you hear that Lea? You’re mom’s a feisty, stubborn woman." "Hey," Elizabeth laughed, pushing him jokingly on the shoulder. Jason laughed and leaned over again. He whispered, "I know your mom wants you to grow up to be like the people you’re named after, but I’ll let you in on a little secret. If you’re lucky, you’ll grow up to be just like your mom because she is the most beautiful, loving woman I know."
"No!" Ric shouted at the blonde mobster. "Do that and I’ll kill you."