After a long night at Kelly’s she had decided to come home to relax. But for some reason, as soon as she got home, she had this terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. Something was off.

So an hour later, she was still digging through the mess that was her apartment, searching for the one thing that had been on her mind all day.

Maxie Scorpio and her little sister Georgie had come in and were fighting about something and she suddenly flashed back to her own sister, Sarah. The difference was, Maxie was the rebel and Georgie was the student type. However, the popularity factor was still the same. Maxie shined with the boys and Georgie . . . well, she didn’t.

But that wasn’t why she was so focused on their conversation. They had said something about a party up at Vista Point and Elizabeth couldn’t help but eavesdrop. She didn’t really party when she was in high school. After the night of the Valentine’s Day dance, she didn’t think it was that important. A part of her wished she had that side of her adolescence back. Just to have one year where all she cared about were boys and parties, that would have been wonderful.

Now, she worried about mobsters, shootings, fake deaths, brainwashes and bombings. Her life had changed on a dime and Elizabeth wasn’t sure if she could ever find her way back.

She almost did once. For a year after Lucky’s death, she had to make herself start from scratch. She had to find who she was again. And she did, for a little while.

Elizabeth smiled, remembering the feeling of the wind in her hair and the scenery just screaming by her. She let go of everything and it felt so good. All she cared about was the speed and the power of the machine beneath her. And, of course, the man who gave her the chance to find that kind of freedom again.

Nothing had been the same since. Lucky came back, Jason left and she lost the closeness that they had in their own little world inside these very walls. A part of her seemed to have given up and she couldn’t really remember why.

Maybe something inside her thought that if she found it, she might find herself again. She wasn’t really sure why she so desperately needed to see it, to hold it in her hands and to remember.

Well, you know I’ve been trying to paint what it's like being on your bike at warp speed. I think I finally got it. It's "The Wind." That's the name of it, which I probably mentioned before. Questions? Comments?

Digging through another stack of canvases, she tried to remember the last time she had seen it. So many times she had looked at it and never truly understood what it had meant to her. She told people it was the best piece she had ever made, but it was only because it represented the best feeling she had ever had.

Ok, come here. Look. Do you see this big red blur?


Yes.

Ok. You know the neon sign in front of Apple Jacks?

Mm-hmm.

Well, I painted it as a big red streak because, I don't know about you, but I don't take in the words as we're zooming by.

Elizabeth felt the worry inside start to build. How could she have misplaced it? She had put it on her window sill when Jason had come back almost a year ago. When things changed, she couldn’t look at it anymore and had put it away. But where was it now?

It had hurt to see it. Deep inside, she had hoped that she and Jason could find a way to that again, but she had learned before that you can’t recapture the past. The harder you tried, the worse it would turn out. Now she had done everything but demolish their entire relationship. There were no more nights on the docks, no more close talks, no more motorcycle rides and, most of all, no more hope.

She had asked too much, she figured. She had tried to change their relationship to something more and it caused it all to go away. She thought it would have worked. She had been so sure, but always carrying this inner fear that it wouldn’t. And her inner voice was right.

She should have just accepted his offer of friendship. Still, she knew that wouldn’t have worked either. She had feelings for him, feelings that scared her, but feelings she couldn’t hide from. She could have kept the friendship, but she would have been fighting herself. That wasn’t right either.

Elizabeth sighed as she stared at the easel with the blank canvas. She walked towards it with a sense of purpose. As she looked at it longer, the image of her favorite painting started to fill her mind. Next thing she knew, she started to pick up the brush. Voices seemed to guide her movements and the paint started to form a picture on the canvas.

And you see this big yellow thing?

Mm-hmm.

That's Angelina's House of Beauty.

It's the door.

Right, the huge yellow door.

As the strokes filled up the blank cloth, Elizabeth bit her lower lip, trying to find something in the painting as she painted. She hoped that if she could paint it again, she could have that feeling again. Just a moment of pure freedom was all she wanted.

The reds and the yellows mixed together to form the scenery of those motorcycle rides she had with Jason. She had never known true freedom until she had felt it with him. She had the best when she had him.

Elizabeth stood back, and looked at the pointing. She pulled a lock of hair behind her ear and stared at the picture skeptically. Something was missing.

Angelina’s House of Beauty, Apple Jacks, the night sky . . . something’s not right. Staring at it, Elizabeth racked her brain to try and remember. Why couldn’t she remember? There was supposed to be something there, she thought, touching the left corner of the canvas. She looked at it carefully, but the memory just wouldn’t return.

It bothered her. A painting that she had cared so much about and a painting she had looked at so many times was missing a piece. Like her.

Elizabeth turned to the door and before she could think, she was outside in the warm summer air waiting for a cab. Staring up at the night sky as she was waiting, brought back a rush of emotion.

She thought back to the first time Jason had taken her out. She had never felt so alive before. That feeling, that rush, it was completely freeing. She wished the night sky could look as beautiful as it had that night. She wished the stars were closer.

The yellow cab pulled up to the curb and she stepped in.

"Where to, Miss?" the driver asked.

"Take me to Angelina’s House of Beauty, please, past Apple Jacks," Elizabeth instructed. "Drive quickly, if you could."

"Sure thing," the driver said.

As Elizabeth leaned back into the seat, she wondered if it would feel different. Taking that same path, but inside a car, it would be different. Gazing out the glass window, she tried to remember every detail. Road signs and small shops showed up. She had never noticed those before. They had gone so fast, she didn’t have the chance to notice.

The drive pulled past the red sign and Elizabeth smiled sadly, remembering but knowing that it wasn’t the same sign anymore. She could read the words and on the back of Jason’s bike, it had been just a blur even though the driver was going as fast as he could.

Soon after, she saw the big yellow door in front of the salon and she smiled. A warm feeling fell over her and she closed her eyes, hoping to hold onto it.

"Please keep driving north," Elizabeth said.

The driver nodded and continued.

That was when it started to come back to her. Black swirls in the distance with bright lights. A road sign reading "Jefferson" appeared up ahead.

"Please stop at Van Ness," Elizabeth instructed. A memory came back to her.

Ok, you see these black loops in the distance? That's the top of the ferris wheel.

From the corner of Van Ness and Jefferson street.

Yes. Yes, exactly. You've got it.

She got it. A lifetime ago, she had the best, and now she couldn’t have it again.

The driver stopped and Elizabeth handed him some bills. "Thank you," she said as she stepped out of the cab.

She braced herself quickly, realizing that it was cold outside, but her hurried pursuit made her forget her jacket. The bright lights seemed to suck her in as they swirled around her in a dizzy spell.

She felt so small looking up at it, but it had felt so intense. Now it was just a ride at a cheezy carnival. It used to be an amazing sight, but now it was empty. She wondered what made her think it could be more.

"Would you like to ride?" a vendor asked.

Yes, but not the kind you mean.

"How much?" Elizabeth asked.

"It’s ladies night, so it’s only 25 cents a ticket," the man smiled.

Elizabeth dug in her pocket, but she realized that she had given all her money to the cab driver.

"I’m sorry, I don’t have any money," Elizabeth said sorrowfully.

"You dropped something," the vendor said, picking up something that shined under the lights.

Elizabeth stared at it. How did it get here? Why had she brought it with her?

"Oh, look, it’s a quarter," the man grinned. "Just your luck."

Elizabeth quickly took it from him. "No, I can’t," she said, knowing that she sounded like a lunatic for being so possessive over a quarter.

"Okay," the man said, walking away. "It’s just 25 cents."

Elizabeth shook her head.

"No, it’s a good luck charm."

Elizabeth felt chills up and down her arm. It couldn’t be.

She turned around and faced the person who had just spoken to her. "What are you doing here?"

"Same thing you are," he said simply. "Remembering."

"Why?" Elizabeth asked.

"The last time I had been by here, it was with you," Jason explained.

"But you go riding all the time," she argued.

"Not here. I haven’t been through here since I left that spring," Jason said solemnly.

"That still doesn’t explain why you’re here. Why would you want to remember this?" Elizabeth questioned. Deep inside, she was hoping he was here for her, but she knew that was impossible.

"This was the last time I was really free, Elizabeth," he said. "I didn’t have to answer to Sonny and I had to fight to find a place for myself. And I did."

She knew what he meant. "Me too," she said.

"It was because of you," Jason whispered.

Elizabeth looked up quickly. If she didn’t know any better, she would have thought Jason was choking back tears.

"You stood up for me and you gave me a place where I could hide until I could live again," he said. "I could never repay you for that."

"I told you, Jason," she said, her eyes glazing over. "You gave me more than I ever could give you."

"I messed it up," he confessed. "I let myself fall into that pattern again. When I came back, I had nothing. I had travelled all over to find myself, but I came back because I couldn’t. I thought if I came back here, at least I would have a job. I didn’t know, I couldn’t see that I would find myself . . . in you."

"What are you saying?" she asked. "After all this time, how could you mean that?"

"I tried, Elizabeth. I tried to fight it because I thought if I could just give you up, let you have the life you wanted, everything would be okay. But I’ve been trying for everyone else for too long. I don’t have anything left. I can only try for myself," Jason told her.

"That’s all I ever wanted for you," she whispered as a tear fell down her face.

"You made me a selfish man, Elizabeth," he leaned his forehead against hers. "I see what everyone needs and I don’t care, because I need you more."

"Jason, what about---?"

"It’s over," Jason said. "It was never real and I could never be who I wanted with anyone but you Elizabeth. You are a part of who I am. Who I want to be."

"I was thinking the same thing about you," she explained. "I was thinking that I was the best person I ever was when I was with you. I was strong once but I felt alone. Then I was loved when I was weak. With you, I could be both."

"I love you, Elizabeth," Jason said. "I know I hurt you, and I turned you away, but I can’t do it anymore. If you’ll have me, I want to be with you again. But if you don’t, I won’t walk away. I will fight for you until there is no hope."

"There’s always hope, Jason," Elizabeth smiled through her tears. "You’re here and you’ve shown me that."

"Do you want to go for a ride?" Jason smiled, looking up at the ferris wheel.

Elizabeth eyes grew wide. "Oh no, Jason. I forgot!"

"What?" he asked, worried.

"The reason I’m here is because I was looking for your painting and I couldn’t find it and I was trying to repaint it," she said.

He put a lock of hair behind her ear and stroked her face with his thumb. "I took it," he confessed.

"What?" she said, shocked. "Why?"

"It didn’t belong there anymore," he explained. "Your studio was it’s home when we needed a place to hide. I don’t want to hide."

"Where is it?" Elizabeth asked.

He smiled at her. "On the back of my bike."

"How did you manage that?" she smiled, her anxiety dissipating.

"I strapped it onto the back seat," Jason smiled.

"Why did you put it there?" Elizabeth asked.

"It’s the place it belongs," Jason said. "It was where it was always meant to be. It’s home."