Port Charles was getting ready for the event of the year. General Hospital was running a charity art auction for the AIDS Foundation. It was featuring the town’s rising new artist, Elizabeth Webber Lansing. In homes throughout the city, people were getting ready for the party.

At Harborview Towers, two couples were preparing themselves with mixed reaction to their invitations. In Penthouse Four, Sonny and Carly Corinthos were still bickering about having to go.

"I don’t understand why we have to go," Carly whined to her husband. She placed the bracelet he gave her around her wrist and admired it for a moment.

"It’s for charity," Sonny reminded her as he put the tie around his neck. "Besides, this is Elizabeth’s first big show. The Spencers, Quartermaines and the Cassadines are going to be there, supporting her. We don’t want to be the only ones in town not there, right?"

Sonny hoped pleading to the socialite in Carly would convince her. He paced slowly to the mirror, adjusting his tie.

"Who cares about that twit? She hasn’t done anything but be condescending to our family since she married that devil brother of yours," Carly reminded him, grabbing her matching shawl from the closet.

"I told you that you didn’t have to go," Sonny said, adjusting his suit.

"Tell me again why Jason and Courtney are going? Elizabeth despises both of them, even more than she despises us," Carly pointed out. She grabbed her earrings from the dresser and stood in front of the mirror to put them on.

Sonny shrugged as he headed to his closet to grab a coat. "It’s going towards the AIDS Foundation and Jason wanted to go for Robin. Besides, they are trying to set their differences aside. Elizabeth and Ric invited all of us."

"Only because they know you’ll spend your money," Carly smirked, looking at the flier in her hand. "They are so hypocritical. We’re no good, but as long as we spend our money on them, we can be invited."

"Carly, you don’t have to go," Sonny tried again, putting on the coat he had picked out. He didn’t want to spend the rest of the evening upsetting his wife. Especially since she was so late in her pregnancy.

"As if I would give Miss Muffin Face the satisfaction of running us out of the social event of the season," Carly said, putting down the flier and putting on her necklace. "Anyway, Jason and Courtney might need me to smack her if she decides to go on her irrational tirades again."

Sonny shook his head, putting his cell phone in his pocket. "Don’t start any trouble, okay Carly? You have to stay calm for the baby."

Carly sighed, standing up from her seat with a shawl wrapped around her. "Fine, but I am not responsible if she decides to play all high and mighty."

"Fair enough," Sonny conceded, opening the door for his wife. "Let’s go."

Jason grabbed the keys to his bike from the desk. "We’re going to take the bike," he shouted up to Courtney who was getting ready in their bedroom.

"I’m coming, Mr. Morgan," she laughed, running down the steps in leather pants and a white, lacy shirt. "How do I look?" she smiled, giving a spin to show off her outfit.

He put the keys in his pocket and glanced up at her. "You look perfect, Mrs. Morgan."

She put her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. "Are you sure about this?"

"I don’t really like big parties, but I feel like I should do this for Robin," Jason explained, his face softening in remembrance of his first love.

Courtney nodded, adjusting his jacket for him. "And you’re okay with Elizabeth’s art showing?"

Jason looked at her questioningly as he held her face in his hands. "Why wouldn’t I be? I mean, we’re not friends anymore, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be civil around each other."

Courtney tilted her head and stroked his cheek with her thumb. "Okay, just wanted to make sure."

He grinned, running his hand through her hair. "We better get going before Carly finds us and makes us dress up and go with them in the limo."

Courtney giggled as she grabbed her coat. "We wouldn’t want that!" she said sarcastically.

Elizabeth paced the Lansing living room with nervous eyes. "What if they hate it?" she said to her husband. "What if they look at it and think I’m a no-talent amateur? What if they see my work and think it’s stupid and they don’t understand it? Or WORSE, what if someone thinks I’m a fraud?"

Ric Lansing wrapped his arms around his wife. "Look, honey, you can spend all night asking what-if’s. But if your work really was that bad, do you think you would have a headlining show tonight? Even charities are selective, and this one’s the biggest event of the year."

Elizabeth bit her bottom lip. "Oh, no pressure or anything," Elizabeth said sarcastically, sighing to herself. "This is my first big public show. The one we had last week was just at a gallery where people who I don’t know came to see it."

Ric laughed, holding his wife closer to him. "Don’t tell me you’re more nervous about what Lila Quartermaine thinks than that stuffy art critic they sent in from New York?"

"Of course I am!" Elizabeth said, throwing up her hands. "I actually have to look these people in the eye day to day. That art critic can only insult me once and only in print. Not with disapproving looks or pity talks."

"Except he didn’t," Ric smiled, giving her a knowing look. "Even that tightwad thought you had potential."

"Potential," Elizabeth snorted, flicking her hand. "That’s the kiss of death."

"Honey, you need to put less pressure on yourself. You are a brilliant artist. Think of it as a way of sharing your passion with the people you love," Ric encouraged her, massaging her shoulders.

Elizabeth grinned and kissed her husband on the cheek. "How do you always know the right things to say?"

"I’m psychic," Ric joked, putting his arm around her shoulder. "No, honestly. After tonight, you will see how wonderful you really are. You just need to believe in yourself."

Elizabeth smiled, leaning into his embrace. "That’s easy with you by my side."

"And I’m not going anywhere," Ric whispered into her ear.

"Good," Elizabeth replied. But even with his arms wrapped around her, she still had her doubts. All day she’d had this nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach. It felt like something huge was about to happen and she had no idea what it was.

Brenda Barrett smiled mischievously to herself as she leaned back in her first class seat on a plane chartered for Port Charles. She would be landing in less than 15 minutes.

She had decided after spending months in the droll hills of Ireland that she was ready to come back. She missed the Quartermaines and their antics. She missed Ned and Lois. She tried visiting Robin in Paris, but Robin was too busy with her research to spend much time with her. Not that Brenda was complaining. She knew Robin was doing something great, but Brenda felt lonely. She had been hopping all over Europe and nothing seemed to keep her attention for very long. She missed small town life; she missed HER life. She was even tired of spending all of Jason’s money.

She wasn’t sick, well, not that she had been in the first place, but she didn’t need to isolate herself anymore. And she was ready to face Port Charles again. Even if it meant seeing Jax . . . or Sonny.

"We will be landing in 5 minutes," a buzz came over the loudspeaker. "Please remain seated until the plane has landed and docked."

Brenda looked out at the city lights. "Port Charles, here I come."

"Two hearts that have been merged is marriage; two souls that have been merged is fate."

The art displays in the Port Charles Hotel were stunning with the dim lighting and the grandiose framework. Elton Herbert had put his all into this event with the help of Lucy Coe and Company. General Hospital staff and former patients filled the grand ballroom with chatter and whispered commentary on the paintings. Few of them had ever seen the artwork of the former Kelly’s waitress and those that did had no idea of her range.

Abstracts lined one wall near the left of the entrance. With titles such as "Light & Shadow" and "The Ruins of the Soul", these works were modern and dark. Across from these displays were a series of portraits. These showed off some of the most important people in Elizabeth’s life including Emily Quartermaine and Audrey Webber.

Perhaps the most creative were the landscapes. Pictures of hilltop views and sweeping cliffs revealed sides of Port Charles many had never seen before. The most intriguing, by far, were the ones in the furthest wall. Lighted in dark shadows, these dream-like paintings held no titles. They were too realistic to be abstract, but too blurred to be called realistic.

Lover, it's an endless night

Elizabeth and Ric Lansing walked in, arm in arm, taking in the crowds. Elizabeth was overwhelmed as many people turned to see them enter the room. Sudden rushes of people approached the budding new artist to share their opinions. Elizabeth knew at that moment that this night was going to be a night to remember.

"It looks wonderful," a lady in a blue evening gown praised Elizabeth.

Elizabeth blushed and smiled. "Thank you."

"See, I told you so," Ric whispered sweetly in her ear.

"The use of color and parallel lines is so realistic in your landscapes," a man in a brown tweed suit said.

Elizabeth nodded in thanks. "I was hoping to really place the way I felt about each place through a small canvas."

"You achieved that," the man’s wife laughed. "I am definitely getting one for our summer home in Tahoe."

Elizabeth’s eyes widened as she turned towards Ric. She couldn’t believe the compliments about her work.

"Elizabeth!" a voice shouted from behind her.

Elizabeth turned to find the Spencers walking towards her. "Lucky, Luke, I am so glad you were able to come."

"Lizzie!" a young voice exclaimed as Lulu rushed to her surrogate sister.

Elizabeth laughed as she pulled Lulu into a hug. "How are you doing, sweetie?"

"She’s a ball of energy lately," Luke laughed. "If her mother was here, she’d never let her out of her sight."

Elizabeth looked at Luke over her shoulder. She was glad to hear Luke speak so calmly of Laura. It had been months since Luke had gotten his life back together, but things had been uncertain.

And I'm alone with these regrets of hurting you

Ric watched his wife hold the young girl in her arms. A pang of regret went through him as he remembered the loss of their first child. They hadn’t talked about starting a family again, but he still yearned for it. He regretted all the mistakes he had made with Elizabeth just for revenge. He had sworn to himself it was all over and he would concentrate on his life with her.

Lesley grabbed her granddaughter’s hand and the family followed her to look at more paintings. Lucky stayed behind to talk to his best friend.

"So how are you feeling?" he asked.

"I’m good," Elizabeth smiled nervously. "I am happy, really happy to be a part of this."

"I can tell," Lucky said sarcastically. "If not for that deer in the headlights look in your eyes, I might buy it."

"Elizabeth’s just not aware of how talented she really is," Ric smiled.

Lucky looked at Elizabeth’s husband warily. He still didn’t like this guy and he was sure the man had an agenda. "Well, after tonight, she’ll have no doubts. I love your portrait of Emily. She’s trying to keep her parents from gushing to every stranger who sees it over there."

Elizabeth laughed as she saw the Doctors’ Quartermaine fawning over the painting and their daughter. She sighed to herself. She wanted to immortalize Emily and she hoped she had succeeded. Emily was still going through so much. Seeing her dear friend, though. helped Elizabeth relax. She smiled as she watched the familiar people in the room.

The Cassadines were spread across the room. Ned and Alexis were over near the abstracts, seemingly in deep conversation. Nikolas was arm in arm with Emily, trying to shield her from her parents with great humility. Stefan was discussing something with Edward beside some landscapes. Elizabeth was surprised Stefan and Edward even came.

"Uh-oh," Lucky said under his breath.

"What?" Elizabeth said, looking at him. She followed his gaze towards the entrance and felt her heart sink.

The Family Corinthos had arrived. The mobsters and their wives entered with the awe of the crowd directed at them. Sonny took his wife by the arm and helped her down the steps while Courtney Morgan whispered something into her husband’s ear.

Elizabeth flinched inwardly as she saw that. No matter how well she had done to move on, seeing them still bothered her. It reminded her of a time when she had felt like the world’s biggest fool. It wasn’t a feeling that went away with time.

Still, she had known they might come since she personally had them invited. She knew how close Robin was to Sonny and Jason and had insisted that Elton invite them, much to his horror. No matter what grudge she had with them, the cause was much more important.

"Do you want to get something to drink?" Ric asked, aware of her reaction to the new guests.

Elizabeth nodded as they headed over to the bar. She took one last glance at Jason and for that split second their eyes connected. No party, no people, nothing else existed in that moment. As quickly as it had come, it left. Elizabeth felt herself being taken across the room and Jason followed his wife towards a display.

Elizabeth shook her head, trying to shake off the feelings that look had stirred inside her. It was the strangest thing. She hadn’t seen him for months, except for the occasional, "Let’s attack Ric for no reason" campaign. It was as if Jason Morgan had gone away again and this time with no "I’ll see you later."

"Elizabeth," Skye Quartermaine approached. "There is an art investor asking for you near the paintings on the back wall."

Elizabeth smiled, "Thanks, Skye."

Ric leaned over to his wife. "I’ll get the drink. You go see the poor guy who is going to have to empty his bank account to get the latest Webber Lansing creation."

Elizabeth laughed, kissed him on the cheek, and headed to the back area. Along the way he caught Zander and Gia conversing over her landscapes and Sonny and Carly whispering about something by a portrait she couldn’t identify. She also saw Mac Scorpio laughing about some comment Dillon Quartermaine had made to him and his daughters, Georgie and Maxie.

"Mrs. Lansing, I must say, I am very impressed by your work," a male voice spoke from behind her.

Elizabeth, recognizing the voice, replied, "Excuse me, but someone is waiting to talk to me." She started to brush past him, but was stopped by his words.

"You mean the investor Skye told you about?" he asked. "That would be me."

"You’re interested in my work, Lorenzo?" Elizabeth said, a fire in her eyes. "Why?"

"I appreciate the arts," he explained, adjusting the sleeves on his suit. "I particularly like that painting over there."

"If you want to buy it, discuss it with the chairwoman, Lucy Coe," Elizabeth said, turning away.

"Ahh, but I would like to know what I am buying before I buy it," he said. "I am not quite sure what the painting is of."

Elizabeth stopped, clenching her fists against her sides. She told herself this was for a good cause and that he couldn’t do anything while they were in public. Facing him again, she asked, "Which one?"

"This one," Lorenzo Alcazar said, gesturing to "The Wind."

"That’s not for sale," Elizabeth said quickly. Of course, of all the paintings in the room he would be interested in her most personal one.

"Then why is it on display?" he asked.

"For aesthetic value," Elizabeth said sharply. "I am sure you can appreciate that."

He chuckled at her feisty reply. "Well, then, how about the one below it?"

Elizabeth eyed the other painting. It was a blurred image of an hourglass floating underneath a bridge. "It isn’t really intended to have a meaning. What you see is what you get. Interpret it the way you feel when you see it." Her rushed answer was an attempt to get away from the man who had been harassing her for months.

"Well, how do you see it?" he persisted, stepping close behind her.

Elizabeth hesitated. She remembered this painting very vividly. It had been a restless night and she had stayed up to paint. Suddenly, she felt herself fall into a drowsy trance. As she did, she saw flashes of images that merged to create this painting. She also remembered the intense feelings that came rushing back to her.

"It’s about time standing still," Elizabeth explained. "It’s about floating in a bubble of pure tranquillity and trying to hold onto that moment in a painting."

"Sounds philosophical," Lorenzo observed, gazing at the painting. "And the bridge?"

"A transcendence between what could have been and acceptance of crossing the hurt of losing it," Elizabeth articulated slowly.

Never thought I'd be misled

I turned away from all those dreams that we once knew

"Can I ask if it was personal?" Lorenzo questioned. "I like paintings that have the artist’s personal touch."

"You can ask," Elizabeth retorted.

Lorenzo chuckled again. "I see I’ve hit a nerve."

Elizabeth’s cheeks turned red with anger. She would not let the drug dealer get to her. This painting was a part of her. She would not let him taint it. "It’s not that complicated," she replied. "It’s just believing in something, realizing that it was never there and moving on."

"Hmmm, I like a painting that is cynical," he commented, taking a liking to Elizabeth’s attitude against him.

"It’s not cynical to not like being lied to," Elizabeth defended. "Nor is it cynical to have expectations that aren’t met. To want something more than what’s easy and realizing there are some things that mean more to you than they do to others."

Lorenzo raised an eyebrow. That was quite a lengthy tirade about a painting. "Well, either way, I like it. I think I will buy it."

"At least your drug money will be good for something," Elizabeth muttered under her breath. She spun around to get away from him and ran straight into a brick wall. Or, at least, what felt like a brick wall.

A pair of strong arms caught her before she fell to the ground. Looking up, her eyes met steely blue ones. Jason.

"Sorry," he said, letting go of her.

"It’s okay," she said, rushing past him. Suddenly, a panic filled her. How much had he heard? Did he know that she was talking about him? Elizabeth sighed, angry with herself for opening up to Lorenzo. At least it wasn’t Ric who had heard her careless outburst to Alcazar. He would question her and she didn’t know if she had answers to those questions.

Suddenly, someone grabbed her arm and she was stopped mid-getaway. Elizabeth turned to find Carly Corinthos glaring at her.

"You don’t waste any time causing trouble, do you?" Carly hissed at her.

"You should talk," Elizabeth retorted. Pulling her arm away from the pregnant woman, she replied, "I don’t know where you get your crazy ideas, but I’m not doing anything."

"Then what was that carefully maneuvered move over there?" Carly accused her, gesturing to the dream-like painting display area in the back.

Elizabeth turned to find Courtney and Jason talking where she had been standing just seconds before. Courtney kept glancing over at Elizabeth and she could feel the blonde’s accusatory looks on her. "It was an accident," Elizabeth replied. The tingling feeling on her arms where Jason had touched her had shocked her into a numb state.

"Sure it was. You just happened to run into Jason," Carly glared at her. "Just like you just happened to put up that picture of Jason where everyone could see it."

Elizabeth’s jaw dropped. "What? What picture?"

It was one heart too many

Tasted love sweet as honey

"Please. Don’t act all surprised. As if it didn’t fit perfectly into your plan to have your obsession with Jason displayed front and center. Isn’t that why you invited us? To shove your past with Jason into Courtney and Sonny’s face?" Carly yelled at her.

"I did no such thing!" Elizabeth denied. "I didn’t authorize any pictures of Jason to be put up for display. In fact, I don’t even remember doing any!"

"I guess some crazy person sneaked in and put it up on the wall for the heck of it," Carly snorted. "Oh, right, that crazy person is you. You are so jealous of Courtney you can’t even be satisfied with your own marriage. I knew it was too good to be true for you to stay out of our lives for so long without a good sniping. Jason sees right through you, so give it up before you really embarrass yourself."

"Carly, you are seriously delusional," Elizabeth snapped at the blonde woman. "I am not some jealous shrew who doesn’t know when someone’s no longer interested. I don’t make up elaborate plans to destroy other people or out of spite. That’s YOU."

"There is no way you can explain that move and the picture away," Carly insisted. "You are just as conniving as your psychotic husband. You two deserve each other. Stay out of Jason and Courtney’s life. Jason never loved you and he never will, so just accept it and move on."

"Excuse me! I am happily married and I have moved on from all of that. If I remember correctly, I was the one who dumped Jason. Didn’t Courtney tell you?" Elizabeth spat at Carly even though she knew that wasn’t entirely true.

But the lie

Kept playing with my mind

"You are such a terrible liar," Carly retorted.

"No, I leave the lies to the Corinthos Clan. All four of you are just so good at it," Elizabeth smirked. "Faked deaths, faked friendships, faked good intentions . . . do I need to go on?"

Carly glared at the brunette, ready to attack. "Just because you feel left out, don’t turn it around on me."

People started to notice the two women bickering in the corner and turned to watch. A few whispered to their companions and soon the news spread around the room.

"Carly, this is not the time or place to address your grand delusions," Elizabeth spoke calmly to the blonde. "People are starting to stare."

"But isn’t this what you wanted? To have everyone’s attention?" Carly shouted.

"No! I wanted to raise money for a good cause. I am not the one intent on causing trouble," Elizabeth said through gritted teeth. "You’re the one who grabbed me!"

"Carly," Sonny called out to his wife. He sighed. He knew it wasn’t a good idea for her to come.

"No, Sonny. This little witch needs to be brought down to the level she seems to think everyone else is," Carly replied. "She’s a scheming, manipulative liar and she is going to admit it."

Turned my back on emotions

Was caught up in a lie

"I am no such thing!" Elizabeth huffed. She turned away from the pair and headed towards the exit. She would not let Carly get to her. This was supposed to be her day and she wouldn’t give Carly the satisfaction of destroying it. If Carly wanted to think she was a liar, so be it. It didn’t matter to her.

As Elizabeth left the building, her husband rushed up to the couple. "What the hell did you say to Elizabeth?" Ric shouted at the both of them.

"Just the truth," Carly laughed. "Told her she can try all she wants, but she will never have Jason. Sorry to break it to you, but your little wifey is still obsessed with my best friend."

Sonny glared at his wife. "Carly! You don’t know that. You have no reason to be embarrassing Elizabeth in front of everyone. This is her debut as an artist. She doesn’t need you making trouble for her."

"Sonny, you didn’t see the looks she was giving Jason when he walked in here. And you didn’t see the stunt she pulled when Alcazar was talking with her over there," Carly argued.

"Lorenzo was with her?" Ric shouted worriedly. "Where is he?"

"I don’t know. That’s not the point," Carly snapped. "The point is, your wife needs to move on because she will never be the kind of woman Jason wants."

"Carly!" a voice thundered behind her.

Carly turned to find her best friend glaring at her. "What? No need to shout."

"You either keep your mouth shut or you leave. You just made a fool of yourself and of Elizabeth for no reason. No one asked you to insult her or defend me in public," Jason yelled at her.

"Jason, you can’t or won’t see what she is capable of," Carly accused. "You have never seen how conniving she can be."

"What goes on between Elizabeth and I is our business, not yours," Jason growled. "Stay out of it."

"No, you stay out of it," Ric interrupted, looking directly at Jason. "Stay away from my wife and keep your friends away from her too."

Jason narrowed his eyes as he watched Ric leave to find his wife. Jason clenched his fists. He could not believe what Carly had just done. How dare she take it upon herself to speak for him against Elizabeth? How many times before she butt out of his life?

Somewhere, deep inside I feel

That only time can heal this lonely need in me

Across town at the Port Charles Airport, Brenda Barrett stood in the rain as her suitcases were packed into the back of the taxi. She smiled up at the droplets of water, knowing that the soothing rain was her welcome home.

Ever since that night Sonny had kissed her and left her standing in the rain, she had laughed at the irony of it. She should have known better when rain welcomed her the last time.

She hesitated as she looked out at the city lights. Port Charles.

She used to call this place home until she pretended to be dead to save the people she loved. Now it was safe to go back.

She knew it had changed since she had left. Maybe not so much this last time, but when she had escaped Alcazar’s yacht, she knew she wasn’t coming home again.

Life moves no matter where you go and without you, people continue to live each day. She was just hoping that now, these days would be shared between her and the people she cared about.

The cab driver gestured for her to get in the car and she obliged. Ducking out of the rain, she took a seat and buckled her seat belt. Gazing out at the water drowned glass she said goodbye to her life of loneliness and looked forward to new beginnings. Things were different now. She was different. She was a far cry from the girl who had first come to this small town. She was even different from the woman who had died there.

Someday, somehow, we're gonna find our way

So dance with me again in this forgiving rain

Elizabeth laughed as the rain came pouring down on the hotel parking lot. She couldn’t step out there or she would destroy her silk dress. Of course, the one time she felt like running away, she couldn’t.

She didn’t really like the rain. Elizabeth liked snow. At least with snow, it was still solid mostly and you could brush it out without getting soaked to the bone. She didn’t know why she was thinking about snow.

She heard her name being called behind her, but she just felt like being alone. So she leaned behind the pillar and rested her forehead against the cold cement wall. The evening had started out so wonderfully but it had quickly turned into her worst nightmare. From the moment she locked eyes with Jason she knew that her peace of mind would not stay intact.

Elizabeth would never understand Carly’s bitterness towards her. Carly swore up and down that she was in love with Sonny, but for some reason, the blonde still harbored her anger towards Elizabeth for being the one to protect Jason when he had no one. There had been moments when Carly had seemed almost human, but they never lasted for long. She knew deep down that Carly was a decent person with the ability to feel compassion, but most of the time Carly was too self-involved to open herself up.

Elizabeth didn’t really blame Carly for her strange outburst. If Carly was right and there was a portrait of Jason on the wall, Carly’s suspicious nature would be justifiably ignited. Elizabeth just wondered how it had gotten there. Elizabeth had only drawn Jason once and it was the night at Jake’s when she was supposed to walk away from him forever to appease Lucky. Maybe it would have been better if she had.

Then she would have never fallen for Jason. Or maybe, by then, she already had and that was why she couldn’t just walk away.

Everyday away from you

An emptiness inside

Elizabeth remembered the very moment when she had lost her chance with Jason. His trust in her and her ability to love him disappeared the moment she told him she loved Lucky more than being free. All that they shared and all that they could have been was taken away with those words. Whatever they tried or did after that didn’t matter. The hole was drilled and they were just waiting for the deciding moment when everything would fall through the cracks.

She had shed so many tears over him, she thought as she reached her hand out to touch the rain. Not as many as she shed over Lucky’s death, but more than she should have. What they had wasn’t supposed to hurt. It had started out so innocently, a budding friendship with possibilities for growth. He had been the one to wipe away the tears. He wasn’t supposed to cause them.

She smiled as she remembered the motorcycle rides. It was like a symbol of what they shared. Freedom, speed and a rush of power and noise. When they were together, it was easy; when the real world stepped in, that was when things changed.

Now, here she stood, waiting in the shadows, not sure why she was still so unhappy. She should have trusted that sinking feeling she had felt before they left the house. Something big had happened. She realized she was still in love with Jason.

I don't want to drown again

You gotta rescue me

Brenda watched as the driver took her through the city streets. It seemed pretty empty for a Saturday night but she was sure it was her imagination. She hadn’t been out on the streets of Port Charles for a long time. During her last visit, she had been locked in penthouses, safehouses and cottages. She never really saw the outside world. She promised herself this time would be different.

A lot would be different. She would not depend on anyone and she swore to herself that she would do what was right for her and not for anyone else. She used to be very selfish. If she wanted something, she would get it. To hell with everyone else and what they needed, all that mattered was herself. She wondered where that part of her had gone.

People say love changes you. Brenda wondered if being without it would make her back into the scheming girl that first hit Port Charles. The girl before Jax rescued her and the girl before Sonny came crashing into her life.

Brenda smiled. She wouldn’t mind being having that girl back again.

"The soul that can speak through the eyes can also kiss with a gaze."

Elizabeth wandered around the back entrance to the hotel for awhile before deciding to go back in. No matter how she felt inside at that moment, she knew she could not do anything about it in the next few hours. Instead, she would be where she was needed: inside, selling her art for a worthy cause.

It was just another day, like the day before

I was walking in the rain with a lonely heart

Brenda Barrett smiled as she arrived at her destination. This would have to do until she found a place for herself. She was pretty sure she would never get her cottage back, but maybe that was for the best. The cottage was a part of her life before. It was a life she spent with Jax and with her memories. She could not go back there if she wanted to start anew.

Grabbing her suitcase from the trunk, she paid the cab driver handsomely. If she was going to stop depending on people, she might as well be generous before she signed her account back to Jason.

She smiled as she remembered the mob enforcer. Of all her time in Port Charles, hating or loving her, Jason was the one man who stayed loyal to her no matter what. Whether he was Jason Quartermaine or Jason Morgan, somehow he found a way to watch out for her. She would never be able to repay him for everything he had sacrificed for her, and she didn’t mean the money.

She had the local newspapers delivered to her house in Ireland when she decided she might have to go home again. She was surprised to find out that Jason had gotten married, but even more surprised that Carly was pregnant. She never really liked the woman, but she respected her marriage to Sonny. She hoped that this child would finally bring Sonny the happiness he deserved.

A gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach had been bugging her ever since she had found out the news. She wasn’t sure why it was there, just that it was. She had long since given up trying to understand her own reactions.

Grabbing the suitcase, she handed the bellhop the rest of the luggage. Telling him her name, he asked her, "Are you here for the art auction?"

"No," Brenda replied, intrigued. "What art auction?"

"The one benefiting the AIDS Foundation," the bellhop informed her. "It’s featuring a local artist, Elizabeth Webber Lansing."

Brenda raised an eyebrow. "Elizabeth Webber got married?"

The bellhop nodded. A gossipy type, he added, "Yes, to Sonny Corinthos’ brother."

Brenda nearly choked on her next breath. "Sonny’s BROTHER?! Since when does he have a brother?"

The bellhop shrugged.

"Hmmm," Brenda said, the gears turning in her head. "I guess I’ll have to go check out this shindig. I haven’t been to a good party in ages."

"Mrs. Corinthos and Mrs. Lansing already had an argument, so I’m sure you’ll have no problem being entertained," the bellhop laughed.

Brenda giggled. "Sounds like my kind of girl," she said, thinking of Elizabeth.

Brenda didn’t know much about Elizabeth Webber. She remembered seeing her around town and at Kelly’s when she was there, but otherwise, Brenda barely knew the girl. While she was away at Luis’ yacht she had overheard him ordering some of his men to kidnap Elizabeth as bait against Jason. That was the closest she had ever been to details in Elizabeth’s life.

Brenda wasn’t sure the reason they weren’t together by the time she escaped the yacht. She hoped it didn’t have to do with her. When she had asked Jason to marry her, he was hesitant, but he made no indication of being in a relationship. In fact, he was probably already making eyes at Sonny’s blonde sister. Apparently, Jason moved on pretty quickly. Maybe Elizabeth had too.

Brenda laughed to herself. The two both went for Sonny’s siblings. How ironic. She tipped the bellhop and headed up to her room. If she was going to crash the party, she was going to do it in style.

Wasn't looking for a change

I was cool inside my world

Jason looked worriedly at the hotel entrance, wondering why Ric hadn’t returned with Elizabeth yet.

"Jason, are you okay?" his wife asked him.

Jason turned and smiled halfheartedly. "I’m fine. I’m just mad about what Carly did to Elizabeth." He watched as Courtney’s worry lines softened. Every time he looked at her he wondered what he had done to deserve her. She loved him like no one else. She had no conditions for him and stood by him no matter what. The danger, the secrets, his own pride . . . nothing phased her. She came along when he was still reeling from losing Elizabeth and showed him that love didn’t have to be hard.

"I knew this wasn’t a good idea," Courtney said, trying to give him an apologetic smile.

He put his arm around her and held her closer. "It’s not your fault Carly has no self-control. I don’t know what she was thinking trying to ruin Elizabeth’s opening with that stunt."

Courtney nodded. "Carly’s just worried about you. You’re her best friend and she’s trying to watch out for us."

"She doesn’t have to," Jason replied. "We’re happily married. No one else can change that. And plus, Elizabeth would never do any of those things Carly said."

"Elizabeth was pretty angry when we got together, Jason," Courtney pointed out. "And I know she still harbors that anger because she slapped me when she thought Ric and I were getting married and she threw out your name."

Jason’s fists clenched at this new information. He had thought that once Elizabeth fell for Ric she wouldn't have given him a second thought. "I’m sorry if she hurt you."

"It’s okay," Courtney said. "It’s not your fault. I know what you two shared was more than just friendship so I can see why she hates me. I just don’t see why she blames us for falling in love."

"She doesn’t," Jason replied. "She’s just hurt. I lied to her and she couldn’t handle it. It had nothing to do with you."

"But she threw it in my face every chance she got. That is, until she met Ric. Then she just looked down her nose at me and told me that we’d never work out because you would never choose me first," Courtney explained.

Jason felt his heart skip a beat. "She said that?"

Courtney nodded. "She told me that I shouldn’t try because you would just leave me if that was what Sonny wanted."

"I can understand why she would say that. That’s why she and I ended. She thought I chose Sonny’s lies over her. She just didn’t understand that I had to do it to keep him safe," Jason said.

Courtney leaned onto his chest. "I know, but if she couldn’t do that, it would never have worked out. I understand your job and I know there are sacrifices I need to make to have you in my life. Elizabeth wasn’t ready to put you first but she wanted you to put her first."

Jason nodded slowly. "Elizabeth and I would have never worked. I just wonder why Carly would think Elizabeth still cared."

But you were standing there

I was falling, I was falling, I was falling for you, girl

Just then, Elizabeth walked back into the ballroom, trying to save face after that debacle with Carly. Looking for a friendly face, she quickly found Emily by the bar.

Jason watched as she crossed the room in her silk evening gown. It had been a long time since he had seen her so dressed up. The last time was after the photo shoot for Laura Spencer and Carly’s company. He thought Elizabeth might look different in a formal dress when she wasn’t torn up inside. She didn’t. She still looked out of place and uncomfortable.

"Hey, Elizabeth," Emily beamed at her friend. "I heard what happened with Carly. That witch. She can’t stand it that she’s not the center of attention. I hope she didn’t get to you."

"I’m trying not to let her," Elizabeth smiled, taking a seat at the stool next to Emily’s. "So are you having a good time?"

Emily nodded fervently. "The best. People can’t stop telling me how wonderful I look in that portrait you made. On top of that, Nikolas has been amazing. He hasn’t left my side until a moment ago to discuss something with his uncle."

"Is Zander okay with all of this?" Elizabeth asked, gesturing to Emily’s ex-boyfriend.

Emily bit her lower lip. "I don’t know. I think he’s accepted it now. I’ve seen him hanging around Gia a lot more, so maybe he’s moving on."

"And you’re okay with that?" Elizabeth asked.

"I’m with Nikolas now," Emily said. "He has a right to move on too."

"That’s not what I asked," Elizabeth pointed out.

Emily sighed. "It’s just weird, you know? I’m in love with Nikolas but a part of me still loves Zander. A part of me always will."

"I know what you mean," Elizabeth muttered.

"You do?" Emily asked.

Elizabeth looked up in embarrassment. She hadn’t meant for Emily to hear that. "I just meant that I went through that same thing with Lucky. I will always love him but now it’s more as a friend. Still, it bothered me when I saw him with Summer."

Emily nodded, seeming to buy Elizabeth’s line. "It’s funny, I used to always think that Zander was my soulmate."

"Maybe he is," Elizabeth said. "I thought Lucky was mine."

Emily raised an eyebrow. "But aren’t we supposed to be with our soulmate? Destiny and all that?"

Elizabeth paused. "I think that even if you meet your soulmate and fall in love with them, there are always reasons that may keep you apart. You decided you couldn’t be with Zander because you didn’t want him to depend on you so much to keep his life together. I couldn’t be with Lucky because he no longer loved me and we had turned into different people. Things happen."

"Thank goodness for you, then," Emily smiled. "I was worried for a minute that I had made the wrong choice."

Elizabeth shrugged. Maybe Emily had. Elizabeth didn’t really know. Who was she to be the authority on soulmates? She was still in love with hers.

I started losing it, I never felt like this

Now I'm callin', now I'm callin', yeah

Jason felt his eyes glued on his sister and her best friend. No matter how hard he tried to listen to what Courtney was saying, he was distracted. Not that the paintings really meant anything to him. He hadn’t yet told Courtney that he couldn’t see what she saw when she looked at them. He was just too damn distracted.

It was so weird. He had barely spoken to Elizabeth for months and suddenly his eyes followed her every move. He could feel her moving through the room and his ears picked up on her laughter over the chattering crowd. It was like a sudden awareness of her that he hadn’t had before. He was definitely losing it.

"Jason?" Courtney repeated, trying to get his attention on a particular portrait.

"Oh, sorry," Jason quickly apologized. He turned to look at the portrait and his mouth suddenly went dry. There he was, sketched in black and white, leaning over a pool table with cue stick in hand. What was this sketch doing here?

"When did Elizabeth draw this?" Courtney asked quietly.

"A few years ago," Jason replied with a dry mouth. "It was at Jake’s and she had an assignment to do. She was supposed to draw something in motion."

Courtney breathed out slowly. "You and Elizabeth have quite a history."

Jason nodded. "We’ve been friends a long time."

Courtney didn’t comment, but she knew that no one drew their friend the way Elizabeth drew Jason. Every detail was there. From his stubble to his Roman nose to his structured fingers. She could tell that Elizabeth had some kind of attraction to Jason when she did this just by looking at it. "Do you want to buy it?" Courtney asked.

Jason stared at her wide-eyed. "Why would you want a picture of me that Elizabeth drew?"

Courtney shrugged. "It seems to be the only one that’s caught your eye and you do want to contribute to the charity, right?"

"Do you really want a sketch of me?" Jason smirked.

Courtney laughed. "Why wouldn’t I want a picture of my husband? Besides, the main thing is that I don’t want anyone else with a picture of you."

"I doubt anyone would want it," Jason cracked a smile. "But if it makes you feel better we’ll buy it. But we’re not putting it on display or anything, right?"

Courtney giggled. "No, don’t worry."

I saw your face and I wanted to see if I could get your name

I saw your face and I can't believe I found a miracle

"You’re a miracle, you know that?" Jason said, kissing his wife on the forehead.

"Well, thank you. But what made you say that?" Courtney asked, bewildered.

"For wanting to buy this drawing," Jason said, pulling a strand of hair behind her ear. Suddenly, he felt a flinching charge run through him. A memory flashed and it wasn’t Courtney’s hair or Courtney’s ear he was touching. He shook it off quickly.

"It’s completely selfish," Courtney smiled, not noticing the look on his face. "Elizabeth did a good job drawing you and I want this masterpiece for myself. I have the real thing, but when you’re not around, I’ll have the next best."

"A drawing is a substitute for me?" Jason asked, a confused look on his face.

"It doesn’t talk much and is probably a good listener," Courtney laughed.

Jason laughed too and pulled his wife closer into his arms. "Let’s go pay for it then maybe we can go home."

You're so so beautiful

I can't believe my eyes

Sonny and Carly Corinthos stood by the landscape paintings, observing each one quietly.

"Do you really think these are that great? They aren’t any better than those postcards they sell in New York City," Carly sneered.

"They definitely pale in comparison to my beautiful wife," Sonny said, flirtatiously kissing her neck.

"Well, if they make you say things like that, we’ll definitely have to buy one," Carly laughed, nuzzling against Sonny.

Sonny accepted as Carly’s lips touched his. The way their lips moved against each other was like they knew each sensation and each spark they could light. Sonny broke the kiss first, looking seductively at his wife. "How about we buy one of them and head on home?" he suggested.

Carly nodded. "Which one?"

Sonny didn’t even look up. "Whichever one you want."

Carly grinned. "Then I’ll pick that one," she said, pointing to a depiction of Kelly’s. "I think I’ll give it to my mom. She can put it up in the restaurant."

Sonny glanced at it and suddenly, he felt himself being jerked back to a time so many years ago.

The painting portrayed a view from inside Kelly’s out to the courtyard. It was a window streaked with rain droplets enveloping the nighttime shadows cast into the brick walls.

If he concentrated hard enough, he could see a brunette against the far wall with tears in her soulful and pained eyes gazing back at him.

"Are you okay, Sonny?" Carly asked. "You look like you just saw a ghost."

Sonny shook his head. "It’s nothing. I just don’t like this partying atmosphere. We should go home."

"But what about the painting?" Carly questioned.

"We’ll tell Lucy on the way out and have it delivered to your mother," Sonny said quickly.

"Okay," Carly replied, narrowing her eyes. Something was wrong and she could tell. There was something Sonny wasn’t telling her.

Now I'm all up in a daze, don't know what to do

Everything is out of place since I saw you

"So when’s your next showing, Elizabeth?" Nikolas asked his dear friend. "Seems like you are a big hit around here. Lucy hasn’t been able to stop to take a breath while she’s selling paintings left and right."

Elizabeth punched him lightheartedly. "Stop exaggerating. I’ve only sold a few." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jason, Courtney, Sonny and Carly head for the door. She felt a weight being pulled off her shoulders.

"I know my family has already purchased two for the house," Emily beamed at her friend. "And that’s on top of the portraits of me and Lila."

Elizabeth turned to face her friend. "Did you happen to see a portrait of Jason on the wall? Carly was ranting something about it earlier."

Emily nodded. "It was right near mine and Lila’s. I thought it looked great, but how did you get Jason to pose for you? I thought you two weren’t speaking."

Elizabeth sighed. "We aren’t. I should probably go see it. There wasn’t supposed to be one of Jason on display. I don’t even remember doing one."

"Hmm," Emily murmured. "It did look kind of unfinished. It was a sketch of him playing pool I think."

Elizabeth heart stopped. "Did you say pool?" She thought that was the only one she did of Jason, but she didn’t imagine that was the one Lucy had put up. How had she found it? Elizabeth hadn’t seen it in ages. She thought she had thrown it away.

"Are you okay, Elizabeth?" Nikolas asked, seeing her face pale.

"I-I’m fine, I have to go see someone," Elizabeth excused herself as she rushed over to Lucy. How in the world had that woman gotten a hold of her sketch of Jason at Jake’s? She never turned it in for her class after Jason left town, but she didn’t remember holding onto it either.

Lucy was surrounded with interested buyers and old friends. However, they cleared the way when they saw Elizabeth approaching with a deadly look in her eyes.

"Oh, Elizabeth! Things have been going so well, tonight. I am proud to say you’ve sold over a dozen paintings already and I haven’t even gotten to these people yet," Lucy grinned, oblivious to Elizabeth’s hostile mood.

"Lucy, can I please talk to you?" Elizabeth asked through gritted teeth.

Lucy didn’t look up from the handful of papers in front of her. "Actually, I’m a little busy with these receipts, could we---?"

She never got to finish her sentence as Elizabeth dragged her by the arm into a back corner. Stopping once they were out of earshot, she glared at the older woman. "Who gave you the right to put up my work without my permission?" she shouted.

"What do you mean?" Lucy asked, thoroughly confused.

"My sketch of Jason. I never gave permission for you to put it on display," Elizabeth hissed at her.

"What? I sent you a note telling you that I was missing a final piece for the portrait collection and then I got it in the mail a few days later," Lucy explained. A worry line etched itself onto her face. "You didn’t send it?"

Elizabeth stared blankly, a dozen questions reeling through her mind. "No, I didn’t. This doesn’t make any sense. Why would someone steal something from so long ago to display it tonight?"

"I don’t know," Lucy said, her face turning white. "I am so sorry, Elizabeth. I should have double-checked with you. This is all my fault. Is this why Carly was yelling at you earlier?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "No, that was just Carly being Carly. But it makes sense. Someone was trying to get me into trouble. But why?"

There's just gotta be a way, must be something I can do

Baby girl, how can I get close to you?

"I am so sorry, Elizabeth," Lucy repeated. She couldn’t believe there was a glitch in tonight’s affair. She had planned it out so precisely. If only she had taken a moment to ask Elizabeth to look over the displays before she put them up. Lucy hated to disappoint people and everyone knew the near disasters the Nurses’ Ball was known for. She was hoping that the change of scenery might lead to a change in fortune.

"It’s okay," Elizabeth said softly. "Just . . . let’s take it down."

Lucy bit her lower lip and hesitated before replying. "Actually, I can’t."

"Why not?" Elizabeth asked, a wary look in her eyes.

"We, um, someone, uh . . . well," Lucy stammered.

"Spit it out, Lucy," Elizabeth commanded.

Lucy sighed. "It’s been sold."

"To who?" Elizabeth exclaimed. Who would want an amateur sketch of Jason?

Lucy turned away knowing that Elizabeth wouldn’t like the answer. "Actually, Jason did."

Elizabeth felt her heart stop and her breathing become labored. "Why-why would he want it? Of all the people . . . he must think I am a total idiot after he saw it. Probably bought it just to tear it down off the wall. He must have been so embarrassed."

Lucy twisted her hands over her wrists at the tension coming off of Elizabeth. "I’m sure he was flattered."

"No, you don’t understand," Elizabeth said rapidly. "We aren’t even friends anymore. I didn’t ask his permission and I’m sure he thinks Carly was right when she accused me of making trouble for him. I-I have to find him. I have to explain."

Before Lucy could reply, Elizabeth ran off towards the entrance. Lucy frowned. She thought Elizabeth was married to Ric Lansing. The vibe she was getting from Elizabeth was definitely not that of a married woman.

Baby, you're so beautiful, yeah

I just want to be close to you

Elizabeth raced to the hotel lobby, rushing right past her husband who looked after her in shock. She had to find Jason; she just had to. He couldn’t think that she was still hung up on him or obsessed with his relationship with Courtney.

She had no idea who had sent the painting but whoever did achieved the result they were looking for. Elizabeth was completely embarrassed and humiliated.

As she ran out into the parking lot, the rain came pouring down on her and she barely even blinked. She looked out into the multitude of cars but could not find Sonny’s limousine anywhere. She sighed. They must have left already. She turned around with shoulders slumped and headed back towards the building.

But she stopped when she saw a pair of jeans covering leather boots. Looking up, she saw Jason standing there with his eyes locked right on her.

"Jason," she whispered with his name sounding like a sigh on her lips.

He walked closer to her, taking off his jacket and handing it to her. "Put this on. You’ll catch cold."

Elizabeth took it, but it hung on her hands as she realized it was the first time in a long time that she had seen his leather jacket this close. "I came out to look for you."

"You found me," Jason murmured, looking at her rain-drenched dress. He was sure the water had ruined it.

"Where’s Courtney?" Elizabeth asked, her eyes cast downward, afraid to look him in the eye.

"She left with Sonny and Carly. I came with my bike and I didn’t want her to get soaked in the rain," Jason said. "Why were you looking for me?"

"I need to explain. I didn’t put up that sketch of you. I mean, I drew it, but I didn’t mean for it to be put on display," Elizabeth rambled. "I never wanted to make trouble for you or try to put myself back into your life in any way. What Carly said was---"

"Wrong," Jason interrupted. "I know you would never do that." He reached out and brushed her wet strands of hair out of her face. This time, the movement felt right.

"You believe me?" Elizabeth asked quietly, looking up at him with round, innocent eyes.

Jason nodded. "I know you would never try to hurt me on purpose."

"Right," Elizabeth said, finding it hard to breathe with his hands in her hair. "I mean, I know you and Courtney are happy together. I would never try to ruin that for you."

"You couldn’t," Jason murmured.

Elizabeth sighed, turning away from him. "I know, I just---"

"You would never do that to anyone. You aren’t capable of it," Jason clarified.

"Oh," Elizabeth replied. She handed him his jacket back. "I should go inside."

Jason nodded. "I liked it," he said as she started to walk away. "The drawing, I mean."

She felt a blush touch her cheeks. "Thank you. That means a lot to me."

Then, she walked into the building, not looking back. He watched her as she moved under the dress that had clung to her like a second skin. He clutched his jacket tightly, swearing to himself. He knew he should have made her put it on.

Oh I just want your name, girl

I can't believe I saw your face

Sonny walked into the lobby, searching for Lucy. He had forgotten to tell Lucy to deliver the painting Carly had picked out to the diner and he also wanted to add on an extra donation for Stone and Robin. His eyes scanning the crowd, he thought about the painting Elizabeth had created. He was glad Carly didn’t want to put it in their home. He didn’t know if he could handle having that reaction he’d had when he had seen it the first time every time he walked by it.

It was completely out of the blue and suddenly these memories of his dark-haired first love seemed to infiltrate his mind. Why was it happening now?

Sonny took the steps towards the ballroom, trying to find someone to ask for Lucy’s whereabouts. His mind was distracted and he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Carly had already headed home in the first limo with Courtney and he had promised her he would be home soon.

These feelings didn’t make any sense. He and Brenda had already ended things peacefully. He finally had closure that day at the docks. The final kiss goodbye. The end of a dangerously passionate ride. Why was she still haunting him?

"They say you should stay out of the rain this time of year," a female voice said behind him.

The chills that ran up and down his spine signaled the identity of the speaker. It couldn’t be. He turned around to face her.

"Hey, stranger," she smiled, looking seductive in a scarlet ankle-length dress and shawl.

As he drank in the sight of her, he fought his emotional and physical reaction to her presence. What was wrong with him?

"Aren’t you going to say hello?" she asked, her face stretching into a wide grin while a sparkle lit in her eyes.

And he managed a small whisper. "Hello, Brenda."

"Other people save lives, but you rescued my soul."

"Hello, Sonny," Brenda greeted, happy to see the man who had been on her mind all night. "Do you see anything you like?"

Sonny swallowed, looking her up and down. "I, uh . . ."

"I kind of like that abstract over there," Brenda smiled, brushing past him towards the painting in question.

Sonny grinned, all too familiar with her teasing ways. "Carly actually picked one out. I was just having it delivered."

Brenda turned to face him with a glowing look on her face. "It’s a great cause. I am sure Robin will appreciate it, even if it’s coming from Carly."

Sonny laughed, but his face soon turned serious as he noticed a shadow cast over Brenda’s features. "What are you doing back, Brenda?"

She tried to smile, her face masking her emotions as she saw a painting of her cottage in the background. "I, uh, I felt like it was time to come home," she explained. "I traveled around Europe for awhile---"

"Burning a hole through Jason’s bank account, I’m sure," Sonny grinned a dimpled smile.

"Of course," she said, genuinely cheered up by his presence. "It’s just not my place out there anymore. It reminds me of my father and . . . my mother. My place is here and I was ready to come back."

Sonny nodded, watching her features change with each emotion that passed through her eyes. "What about Jax?"

"What about him?" she asked, walking past Sonny towards the back room.

Hey lady, I know I should be the last one

But I'm feeling like my conscience won't let it go

Sonny sighed. Jax had really hurt Brenda at their wedding and he knew it was partly his fault. He had been the first one to leave her devastated at the altar. Following her, he wondered if he could somehow fix the mess he’d made by being there for her now.

"I saw a lot of boats when I was in Europe. In the Mediterranean, they line the shores," Brenda said, looking at a portrait of the docks.

"Did you see any yachts?" Sonny said slowly, knowing what the painting was reminding her of.

"A few," Brenda said, trying to brush it aside. "But the beaches weren’t as nice as Puerto Rico."

Sonny smiled warmly remembering the time they spent there. "No place is as nice as Puerto Rico."

Brenda laughed. She would never forget Sonny’s ego. "So I heard you’re expecting a baby. Congratulations."

"How did you know that?" Sonny asked, a curious look in his eyes.

"I read it in the newspaper. I had it delivered to my place in Ireland," Brenda explained. "Seems Port Charles has been full of news lately."

Sonny nodded. "Things have been hectic, but it’s starting to calm down now."

"So Ric’s your brother?" Brenda asked, seeing the lawyer standing anxiously in the far corner.

Sonny’s eyes narrowed at the mention of his latest sibling. "Only by blood."

"Mike had another affair?" Brenda questioned, watching Sonny’s reaction carefully.

Sonny shook his head. "He’s Adella’s."

Brenda paused at the mention of Sonny’s mother. She knew the connection he shared with his mother and she wondered if the news of his mother’s other son bothered him. "You don’t get along?"

"No, we don’t," he answered, his face etched with shadows. He quickly changed the subject. "Where are you staying? What are your plans?"

"Plans?" Brenda smiled. "You know me, I don’t like to plan. My only plan right now is to start over. Clean slate. As for where I’m staying, I’m staying here."

"That’s a good idea," Sonny commented. He knew everything she had gone through must have cost her so much. She spent four years of her life under the lock and key of an arms dealer. She deserved to get that time back and more.

Gotta make a down payment on my karma

And the dreams of love I stole

"I also want to make amends," Brenda admitted. "If there was anything I learned when I thought I was sick, it was that I shouldn’t leave behind unsettled business. Life is too short for that."

Sonny nodded, although he wasn’t quite sure what she meant.

"I want you to know how happy I am that you are starting a family with Carly," Brenda said. "After everything I’ve shared with you, I know that means the most to you. You deserve it, Sonny. You’ve paid a lot for the life you live, but at least you have the love of your children and your wife to make it worth it."

Sonny narrowed his eyes, wondering where all of this was coming from. "Thank you. I want the same for you," he said honestly. "I want you to have your dreams come true and I know you used to have a lot of them."

"I think I’m going to cut back on the dreaming," Brenda said, her eyes glinting underneath the dim lights. "I want to live life now instead of waiting for it to come to me."

"Brenda, I know . . . he hurt you. And I know it was that much worse because of all the times I hurt you," Sonny interjected, seeing that she was trying to be strong.

Brenda blinked twice. This wasn’t what she wanted to hear. She wanted him to tell her "Good for you, Brenda. Have a nice life." She didn’t want him to see that she was still in pain. She didn’t want him to care.

"If you ever need anything, just let me know," Sonny began. "I owe you a lot for the life I have now. You showed me that I could love someone and have that person in my life. I broke your heart more times than you ever deserved and I don’t want what I did to keep you from finding what I have now."

Brenda nodded, trying to keep the tears from her eyes. "Thanks, Sonny, but you don’t need to say that."

"I do," he replied. "I know I took something from you that night I didn’t show up at St. Timothy’s. I know that you gave up so much to love me despite the fact that I chose Lily and the life over you. I never got the chance to tell you, but---"

"Brenda!" a voice exclaimed from behind them.

They both turned to find Edward Quartermaine smiling at them.

Brenda turned and gave the old man a hug. "Hi, Edward."

"What are you doing back, young lady? And with this thug of all people," Edward said, glaring at Sonny.

Brenda giggled. "It’s all right, Edward. We’re just catching up on old times. How’s Lila?"

"Fine, fine. You should come see her. In fact, I am sure the rest of the family would be happy to see you. Alan! Monica!" he bellowed.

Sonny leaned over to her and whispered, "I guess I should go."

Brenda turned and nodded. "I’m glad I saw you tonight," she admitted.

"I’m glad you did too," Sonny grinned. "Remember, if you ever need anything---"

"I won’t," Brenda replied.

"Brenda!" Monica greeted, walking up to the brunette with her husband. "What are you doing back?"

"When did you get here?" Alan asked. "Where are you staying?"

"Now, now. Let the girl breathe," Edward interjected. "You aren’t staying with that hooligan, are you?"

As Brenda answered the multitude of questions, Sonny slipped away. Walking towards the door, he decided he’d make the donation later. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that she was back. Why was he so glad she was?

Just as Sonny stepped out, Elizabeth stepped in. Shivering from the cold, she had borrowed a jacket from Emily.

"Elizabeth, there you are!" she heard her husband call out to her. "Where have you been? You’re soaked!"

Elizabeth blushed. "I got caught out in the rain. Could you take me home?"

"Of course!" Ric said, rubbing his arms on her shoulders to warm her up. "I’ll go tell Lucy and then I’ll grab the car."

"Okay," Elizabeth murmured. She was glad he wasn’t questioning her further about her whereabouts.

As Ric walked towards the committee chairwoman, a suspicious look was cast on his eyes. Where had Elizabeth gone and why did she seem like she was hiding something? He was determined to find out what she was up to standing outside in the rain.

Elizabeth escaped into the ladies’ room, hoping that she didn’t look like a drowned cat. Stepping in front of the full-length mirror she groaned. No such luck.

Grabbing paper towels from the dispenser, she tried to dry her hair with them. It worked, but only slightly. Looking up at the mirror, she sighed, wiping away the mascara under her eyes and the streaked blush on her cheeks.

"Wow, are you okay?" a female voice asked as she approached Elizabeth.

Elizabeth’s jaw dropped when she realized who it was. "Brenda?"

"Elizabeth," Brenda said, teasing her shocked expression.

"What are you doing here?" Elizabeth asked. She didn’t really know the woman, but she had heard Brenda had left town after Jasper Jacks said "I don’t" at the altar. What an awful thing to go through twice in one lifetime. At least she found out the truth before she walked down the aisle to marry Lucky. Brenda’s would-be husbands sure procrastinated in breaking her heart.

"Admiring your artwork," Brenda explained. "You’re very talented. I had to escape for a moment though. A few too many questions from the Quartermaines can be overwhelming."

"No, I mean what are you doing back in town?" Elizabeth clarified.

"Oh, that," Brenda smiled, observing the younger girl as she answered. Elizabeth was small, like her, and she had a classic beauty to her. Porcelain skin and wide eyes made her look younger than her years. But she could also see the strength in Elizabeth’s expressive eyes. The lines were faint, but they told of experiences that had etched those lines there.

Elizabeth watched as the older woman examined her. "I must look like such a mess," Elizabeth commented.

"Oh, nothing a little makeup, dry clothes and a hair dryer couldn’t fix," Brenda laughed. "Here, let me see what I’ve got."

Elizabeth looked at Brenda curiously, wondering why she suddenly cared so much. Brenda had never said more than two words to her before.

As Brenda fished through her purse for some foundation and eyeliner, she murmured to Elizabeth, "So I saw Sonny out there. Was Jason here?"

Elizabeth’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of Jason’s name. She was still affected by the encounter they had shared outside. If she didn’t know better, she was sure his eyes had followed her back into the hotel. She hesitated, remembering that Jason and Brenda had been married for a brief time. Elizabeth nodded, "He came with his wife and Sonny and Carly. He left just a few minutes ago."

"I guess it’s for the best. I am sure it would only ruin his night to see me," Brenda giggled. "Aha!" she exclaimed, pulling out a bottle of concealer. "This will have to do."

As Brenda opened the concealer and dabbed it on her finger, Elizabeth stared amazed that Brenda Barrett was about to put makeup on her. This night was just getting weirder and weirder.

"I wanted to ask you about that cottage landscape you had out there," Brenda said as she applied the makeup. "What made you choose it?"

"I was just driving around Port Charles with Ric one day and I saw it," Elizabeth explained as the cool liquid covered up the streaks on her face.

"Ric is your husband, right?" Brenda asked.

Elizabeth nodded as Brenda reached for the makeup remover to take off the streaked mascara. "We got married after you left town."

Brenda noticed the tone in Elizabeth’s voice. Something was off about her. "You know, Jason used to stay at my cottage when he was raising Michael."

"He did?" Elizabeth asked, wondering why Brenda kept bringing up Jason.

Brenda nodded, wiping off the black lines on Elizabeth’s face. "He and Robin spent some time there. I think that was the closest Jason ever came to a normal life. That is, until he and Robin got shot at."

Elizabeth’s breathing shallowed as she thought of Jason with a gunshot wound. Only it wasn’t in a cottage, it was in the snow beside a boxcar. "He can’t really have a normal life with his job."

Brenda tilted her head, examining her work. "You used to be with him, right?"

Elizabeth furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "How did you know that?"

"I lived with Luis during the time he planned to have you kidnapped," Brenda explained. "I recognized your name when I came into the ballroom."

"Jason and I were never really together," Elizabeth sighed. "We used to matter to each other, but that’s as far as it went."

So listen, baby

Not saying I hit it, now we are through

Brenda could hear the hurt in Elizabeth’s voice even though the younger woman tried to hide it. "It’s hard being with a man in the mob, isn’t it?"

Elizabeth remembered that Brenda had been with Sonny. In fact that was the first time she had met the ex-model. Brenda had come into Kelly’s discussing her wedding with Lucy. "It wasn’t just that," Elizabeth said. "Jason and I would have never worked out either way. We don’t fit into each other’s lives. He has different expectations in a relationship than I do."

"How so?" Brenda asked, running a brush through Elizabeth’s tangled curls.

"He thinks that a relationship is about accepting everything about the other person. He doesn’t think love is strong enough to hold people together above his life and the danger that comes with it," Elizabeth explained. "He thinks that if something doesn’t work, then that’s the end. He doesn’t see that sometimes you have to try to make a relationship work."

"Men are like that," Brenda said. "It’s not just Jason. Did he give you the ‘I’m protecting you by breaking your heart’ speech?"

Elizabeth bit her lower lip. "Sort of."

"Well then maybe you’re better off without him," Brenda commented. "Besides, your husband must be a refreshing change. A nice, safe lawyer, right?"

Elizabeth choked back a laugh. "I wouldn’t exactly say that."

"But you didn’t stay with Jason. That’s good," Brenda said, although she didn’t really mean it. "I am a true believer in the idea that we should never settle for less than we deserve."

Elizabeth nodded, wondering if what she had done was settle. She loved Ric and he loved her. What else mattered?

"I think all women should find men who treat them right and love them more than their pride or else they should walk away," Brenda said.

"You’d break a lot of hearts doing that," Elizabeth observed.

"Mine’s been broken a few times too," Brenda smiled sadly. "Men seem to love me and leave me. I’ve decided I’m going to be the one leaving from now on."

"I know what you mean," Elizabeth sighed. "I walked out on Ric once because I knew it was either that or wait for him to walk out on me."

Brenda raised an eyebrow. "What happened?"

Elizabeth’s eyes narrowed as she remembered his lies. "He lied to me about who he was."

"Sonny did that to me once," Brenda said. "It hurts, doesn’t it?"

Elizabeth nodded. "But I forgave him because . . ."

"Because of what?" Brenda asked when Elizabeth paused, searching for a reason.

Elizabeth frowned. "I don’t really remember. Actually, we didn’t get back together until I found out about the baby. I decided that I wanted to keep it and I wanted to give it a family. Ric seemed to really want the baby too, so I married him. We lost the baby soon after."

Brenda’s face darkened. This explained the strange tone in Elizabeth’s voice before. Her marriage was based on a need for a man to raise her child, not out of love. "But do you love him?" Brenda inquired.

Elizabeth nodded. "He adores me and believes in me. He was the one who set up this whole art auction just for me."

Brenda didn’t like the avoidance of Elizabeth’s answer. Elizabeth started to sound like that woman Ric had been involved with in South America. Look what happened to her.

"I should probably get going," Elizabeth said, putting on Emily’s jacket again. She took a glance at the mirror. She actually looked half-decent from the neck up. "Thanks for the help."

"No problem," Brenda said, her mind distracted with her thoughts.

Elizabeth picked up her purse and left the bathroom, leaving Brenda to herself. Brenda looked at herself in the mirror, but she didn’t see her reflection. Instead, her mind was concentrated on Elizabeth. It was apparent to Brenda that Elizabeth wasn’t fully committed to her marriage. Not that she would cheat on her husband, but Elizabeth’s heart wasn’t really there.

Brenda wasn’t exactly the expert on marriages. Her only successful marriage had been with Jason, but that was only because the purpose for it wasn’t love. Still, she knew that a marriage never worked if it was built on sand. The foundation of it had been the baby and now it was gone. She wondered what made Elizabeth hold on so long when it was so obvious Elizabeth didn’t love her husband. She wondered if Jason saw it too.

Be a heartbreaker, don't compromise

So he can say "I hit it, now we are through"

Jason had a frown implanted on his face as he raced down the city streets towards Harborview Towers. Something was bothering him and he couldn’t identify it. This entire night had been a disaster.

First, he had been assaulted with reminder after reminder of Elizabeth. Secondly, his reactions were completely out of the blue. He hadn’t felt this way in such a long time, why was it all hitting him now?

He was happily married and finally getting a break from his job as negotiations between the families were being settled. He was about to start a family himself and he had never been closer to a normal life in such a long time. He didn’t need any complications, and Elizabeth . . . she was definitely a complication.

He was so sure that everything they had and all that he felt for her was dead and buried. They had realized that it would never work between them. The dance they shared for three years had ended with a quiet whimper. He didn’t realize how significant that was until now.

Inside of him were unresolved feelings. Words and emotions he still needed to share with Elizabeth. It still bothered him that she had walked away so easily. She had turned on him faster than he could react to her leaving. She treated him like a stranger, pretending like the friendship and feelings had never existed. How could she do that?

Then, months later, she acted as if he had been the one to end it. She accused him of lying to her about Courtney and doing it to hurt her. If she had insisted she didn’t care, why was she so mad?

These were all questions he had never asked. He just decided that he was wasting time trying to get through to her. She had made a decision and he respected it. It shouldn’t have mattered anymore.

She had moved on, gotten married and lived her life every day . . . without him. He had done the same, not even realizing she was gone. It was like she was never there at all.

He realized he had done a good job running away . . . at least, until now. Suddenly, her every reaction, emotion, thought, sentence . . . it all mattered again. He was happy for her art show’s success, worried about the sad look in her eyes, curious about why she was so upset about the sketch . . . on and on. But above all, he was angry that she had married Ric.

He's a player, can't you see?

So baby girl, listen to me

Of all the men in the world she could move on with, it had to be Ric. The lying, blackmailing, murdering rapist was the worst man she could have possibly chosen and she married the guy. Jason hadn’t given the marriage a second thought since he found out. It was her life and she could live it the way she chose. Suddenly, that wasn’t enough.

That guy was dangerous and sick in the head. Who knew what Ric could have done to Elizabeth without her knowing? Elizabeth seemed to buy into his every line and it never mattered to Jason because it was her choice. He began to realize her choices got her into a marriage with a violent and psychotic piece of scum.

All of Carly’s words about how Ric had terrorized her and his own experiences with the psychosis of the man made his fists clench against the handlebars. This was the man Elizabeth went to bed with every night. This is the man who watched Elizabeth as she slept. The same man who had undressed Carly in a motel room and violated her mind by making her think she had cheated on her husband. It made Jason physically ill to think Elizabeth was married to this coward.

Jason pulled over into the parking garage, pausing after turning off the engine. Staring at the doorway to the elevators, he took a deep breath. He had to shake off this feeling before he saw Courtney. She couldn’t know he was thinking about Elizabeth . . . not in this way.

He paced the garage for a few minutes, trying to block every bit of Elizabeth out of his mind. It wasn’t really working, but he was determined to do it. He couldn’t lie to Courtney so the only way to face her was to truly not be thinking about Elizabeth.

"Jason," a voice called behind him.

Jason turned around to find Sonny standing by the second limousine. "You didn’t go home with Carly and Courtney?" he asked.

Sonny shook his head. "I had to do something, but you’ll never guess who I saw there."

"Who?" Jason asked with eyebrows furrowed.

"Brenda," Sonny said, his face stretched into a grin despite himself.

"What is she doing back here?!" Jason exclaimed. This was not good. He didn’t need Brenda in Port Charles. He had enough complications without the trouble she seemed to cause. And he especially didn’t like the tone in Sonny’s voice.

"She said it was time for her to come home," Sonny shrugged. "I’m glad Jax didn’t break her spirit."

"Like you did?" Jason murmured.

Sonny’s eyes narrowed. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Jason said. "I just know how much you and Brenda shared. You must be affected by her coming back."

Sonny shook his head. "It’s strange, sure, but I can deal with it. I have a whole new life now. I have for awhile. I have a wife, a son and another boy on the way."

Jason nodded. "Okay." Although, he knew Sonny was hiding something.

"I’ll see you up at the penthouse," Sonny said. "What are you still doing down here anyway?"

"Just thinking," Jason said. If he was a liar, he would have been more convincing, but he wasn’t.

"All right," Sonny replied, accepting Jason’s excuse.

Jason watched as Sonny got in the elevator and went up to the top floor. Jason sighed to himself. To be honest, he was doing the same thing Sonny was. Trying to convince himself that the woman he had lost did not matter as much as the life he had with the woman he was with.

Girl, you should be thinking about his ways

Want you to know you're being played

Jason finally got his bearings together and headed to the elevator. Pressing the button for the penthouse, he leaned against the elevator wall. Just when business let up, his life became complicated by his personal life. He just wanted a minute to breathe.

"Jason," a voice spoke as he stepped out of the elevator.

Jason turned with a frustrated look on his face. "What are you doing here?"

The brunette smiled innocently. "What? Can’t a girl say hello to her ex-husband?"

Jason groaned. He didn’t need Brenda and her drama tonight. He had enough of his own. "It would have been nice if you told me you were coming back."

"Why? You’re not my keeper," Brenda teased, stepping into the hallway.

"No, but I do pay your bills," Jason reminded her.

"Which is why I came," Brenda said, walking past him towards his apartment.

"Courtney’s probably in there sleeping," Jason informed her, blocking the entrance to his penthouse.

"Oh, this will be quick," Brenda said, brushing past him into the room.

Jason clenched his fists. "What do you want, Brenda?" he whispered.

"Why are you whispering?" Brenda laughed. "I just came by to tell you that I’m back permanently so I am giving you back your bank account. I won’t be needing it anymore."

"You’re staying with the Quartermaines?" he asked.

"Nope, I’m staying at the Port Charles Hotel until I can get my own apartment," Brenda explained.

"How are you going to pay for it?" Jason questioned, noticing something different about her. A certain determination that wasn’t there before.

"Get a job of course," Brenda laughed. "Like normal people."

"You’re not normal," Jason said bluntly.

Brenda nodded with a smile on her face. "I know, but I am going to support myself like a normal, single woman."

"Who’s going to hire you?" Jason snorted.

"I don’t know, but I have some skills and experience. I was a model once," Brenda reminded him.

"I know, but what skills do you have?" Jason smirked.

"I’m a people person. I could be a wedding coordinator," Brenda smiled. "Like that one Jennifer Lopez movie. Those who don’t wed, plan." She could see her joke had flown right over his head.

Jason raised an eyebrow. He had no idea what she was talking about.

Seeing the look on his face, Brenda shook her head. "Okay, maybe not weddings but something that helps people. How about a counselor or mentor or something?"

"Like giving advice to other people?" Jason said, his eyes wide. "I don’t think you should be doing that."

"Hey, I have life experiences. I can enrich other people’s lives and make sure they don’t make the same mistakes as I do," Brenda pointed out, remembering her encounter with Elizabeth earlier.

"Brenda, look, why don’t you just spit it out. What are you really doing here? You could have told me this over the phone," Jason observed.

Not saying that you ain't up on game

I'm coming straight, I'm trying to make it plain

"Okay, okay," Brenda nodded. "You caught me. I’m not here to discuss my career options. I’m here to check on you."

Jason raised an eyebrow.

"What? Can’t I be concerned about you?" Brenda smiled. "I owe you for how you helped me out the last time I was here."

"No you don’t," Jason said, his face softening now that she was being honest.

"I’m not here to argue with you," Brenda said. "I read in the newspaper that you married Snow White."

"Her name’s Courtney, and like I said, she might be upstairs," Jason replied.

"Are you happy, Jason?" Brenda inquired. She decided it was best just to say it directly instead of dancing around the issue. She knew Jason didn’t like flowery words anyway.

"Why do you want to know?" Jason asked, wondering what Brenda was trying to do. He still didn’t understand why she had come to see him in the middle of the night. He was just glad it wasn’t Sonny’s door she was knocking on.

Brenda shrugged. "Curiosity I guess. I’m just wondering what life after marriage is really like."

"It’s great," Jason said simply.

"That’s it?" Brenda asked. "Come on, Jason. Seriously, are you happy with her?"

"Brenda, if this is about Jax, I’m sorry about what happened," Jason replied.

Brenda’s face stretched into a smile. "Thanks for saying that, and yeah, I guess it is kind of about Jax. Before Jax, I wanted Sonny for the longest time. He was my true love, you know?"

Jason groaned. "What does this have to do with me?"

"Just listen," Brenda said. "I thought Sonny was the man I would spend the rest of my life with. He made me feel things that I never dreamed were possible. He understood me and loved me like no one ever had before. When we were together, Sonny used to say we could light the world on fire. And he was right. Sparks flew whenever we were in the same room."

"What are you getting at?" Jason interrupted. He had his own problems to deal with. He didn’t need Brenda causing trouble in his best friend’s marriage.

"But we never worked out," Brenda explained. "One thing led to another and suddenly it was like we couldn’t fit anymore. We still felt the same things, but it wasn’t enough. We hurt each other over and over again, but there was always that pull. Until finally, we broke away."

Jason stared at her, trying to understand why she was telling him all of this.

Brenda sighed and continued. "It was because of Jax that I finally let go. Jax loved me unconditionally. No matter how many times I ran to Sonny or did something stupid, Jax stayed by my side. He showed me that love could be easy, you know what I mean?"

Jason nodded, finally relating to what Brenda was saying. Not that he would ever compare Courtney to Jax.

"Jax made me see that I could have a life that was safe and full of love. I could have everything I wanted with Sonny without the complications and the constant danger that was always there," Brenda said slowly, hoping that she was getting through to Jason. "I don’t mean the danger of the mob either. I mean the danger of a broken heart."

Jason clenched his fists, fighting the feelings that were sparking his every nerve. He couldn’t be thinking like this. She couldn’t know what her words were doing to him.

"Jax was safe," Brenda repeated. "He was everything I thought I wanted Sonny to be. A man who put me first, protected me, accepted me and cherished me. Someone who would never hurt me or turn his back on me. He was my Prince Charming."

Jason lifted his head to see the sharp look in her eyes. She was trying to tell him something and he knew her point was going to hit him hard.

Brenda began, "You see Jax was never right for me. He loved me and I loved him, but no matter how much we fit, we weren’t right. The life we shared would have had all the things that you would expect: love, security, family, the whole nine yards. But it would always be lacking, because I already knew what real, burning, passionate love was. What I had with Jax wasn’t it."

Jason’s jaw tightened. He didn’t want to believe her. He didn’t want to feel like she knew what he was going through. He couldn’t be like her. He couldn’t think that the life he had chosen wasn’t enough.

Brenda looked directly at him and finished, "Jason, Jax realized something I couldn’t see until it was too late. Once you’ve had the best, you can’t go back. You can’t forget it or ignore it no matter what your head tells you. Life may not let you be with that person, but your heart will never let you be with anyone else.

Jason shook his head. "Why are you telling me all this, Brenda?"

"You know why," Brenda said, seeing the recognition in his eyes. "Courtney is that safe person for you, Jason. She’s your fallback girl. She’s the one who can give you the life you want. She is the person you always imagined would be right for you. She accepts you and she fits perfectly into your life. No conflict, no complications."

"That’s true, but that doesn’t make her Jax," Jason said. "She wanted to marry me."

"Did she see you when you were with Elizabeth?" Brenda asked, finally saying the name that Jason had been hiding from. "Did she know how much you and Elizabeth shared before she ever came into the picture?"

"She knew Elizabeth mattered to me," Jason explained, remembering that day at Courtney’s apartment when she tried to encourage him to fight for Elizabeth.

"But you told her you never loved, Elizabeth, right?" Brenda asked, knowing what his answer would be.

Jason stared at her, wide-eyed. "How did you know that?"

"Because I tried to tell Jax the same thing. I told him that I loved him and that he was the one I was meant to be with. I kept telling him over and over, and I didn’t realize I was trying to convince myself more than I was trying to convince him," Brenda admitted.

"I wasn’t trying to convince Courtney of anything," Jason argued. "I love Courtney. I wouldn’t have married her if I didn’t. Elizabeth and I, we ended a long time ago."

Brenda shook her head, knowing that Jason was in denial. "I know you love Courtney. I am not saying you don’t. I loved Jax too, but it wasn’t the way I loved Sonny. So my question is, is she the one? Does she make your heart swell whenever she steps into a room? Does being away from her make you ache to hear her voice? When you look into her eyes, do you see your soul in hers?"

Jason looked away, not wanting to hear what Brenda was saying.

"I bet she does all the right things, says all the right things and makes your life easier than Elizabeth did. She holds on and fights for you and stays by your side all the times Elizabeth didn’t. She doesn’t question you or challenge you in all the ways Elizabeth did," Brenda said. "She makes loving her easy and safe. It’s comfortable, isn’t it?"

"What’s your point, Brenda?" Jason asked, battling every doubt and question Brenda’s words brought out.

"Sonny made a choice once. The safe one," Brenda explained. "He chose Lily instead of me. She couldn’t hurt him the way I could. But when he tried with Lily instead of me, she ended up paying for his choice with her life. He may not have intended to hurt her, but her father could see through Sonny. He knew that even though Sonny committed to his daughter, Sonny never truly belonged with Lily."

"Lily would have been fine if you had stayed away from him," Jason argued.

"Do you think that distance would have helped, Jason?" Brenda asked rhetorically. "Does distance keep your feelings away? I can tell you that it doesn’t change a thing."

Jason’s back was still towards Brenda, but his eyes were touched with moisture as he tried his best to forget.

Brenda continued. "You can try and not think about your feelings and it works for 30 seconds. Then time goes by and then you realize you haven’t thought about it for another 30 seconds. And on and on until one day you realize a year has gone by and you haven’t thought about it for every minute of every day. But it’s still there. Not thinking about it doesn’t make it go away."

Jason tightened his fists, trying to push his memories away. Inside he knew it wouldn’t work. Like Brenda, time hadn’t done anything to erase the emotions. It hibernated, but never disappeared.

Brenda reached out to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You realize when that person shows up again in your life. One look, and all that work, all that fighting . . . it’s like it never happened. All you know is that when you look at that person, you still feel what you felt years ago."

Jason felt her hand on his back, but he hardened himself against the emotions that threatened to take over.

Brenda whispered, standing closer to him. "Even . . . even if that distance was only in your mind and that person is still in your life, you can separate yourself for a little while. Then suddenly a key, a spark, something lights that flame and you remember again. You don’t understand it. You thought it wasn’t supposed to be this way. You thought you had started a whole new life with someone you loved with all your heart and someone who loved you back. But you realize it was never going to be enough."

His nature is to do the things he'll do

He ain't cool for you

"Life is always going to get in the way," Jason said finally. "Things can’t work between two people no matter how much they feel for each other."

Brenda nodded. "You’re right. You’ll always hurt them and they’ll hurt you, over and over again until the day you die. But at least, AT LEAST, you know that this is the person you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with, even if it’s spent mostly in pain. It’s those moments, when your eyes connect and it’s like no one else is there that make it worth it. I will never regret a minute of my life with Sonny."

"But you’ll let him go," Jason replied.

Brenda tilted her head. "I will let him live his life with his wife and children, but I will never let him go. He’s a part of me. The best and the worst parts of me."

Jason nodded. "If you love him so much and believe so much that two people belong together even when they hurt each other, why would you let him be with Carly?"

"Because it is what will make him happy," Brenda said. "He loves her and the children they will have together. I would never do anything to take that away. It’s too late for Sonny and me. He’s got a family now. But deep inside, I know if he didn’t, I would not be standing here talking to you. I would be fighting for him. He could break my heart a thousand times and I will still feel the way I feel about him just as strongly as the first day we met. It doesn’t make sense, Jason, but love doesn’t have to. Just like it doesn’t have to be easy."

"Soulmates are locked at the heart and written in the heavens, promised to find one another when the time is right."

Jason stood by the bay window, gazing into the night sky. Brenda had left an hour ago, but he had remained in this position. After their conversation, which was surprisingly civil, Jason had to re-evaluate a lot of what he had believed about himself, his feelings and his life.

Elizabeth did mean a lot to him; he would never deny that. She had saved him from himself and kept him from wanting to die inside after his two best friends had betrayed him. She had taken care of him and brought him back to life for no other reason than she wanted to.

She only knew him for a few months before she found him in the snow. He knew she was caring and that she was compassionate, but he never thought she was capable of sacrificing so much. Especially not for him, a person who just a few months before had been just her best friend’s brother.

It amazed him and made the connection they shared grow into something more than friends. After that winter, he knew things had changed. When he looked at her, it was no longer as the concerned friend. He cared for her beyond that, although he didn’t know if it was really love.

When he had left, her reaction had sparked something inside of him. He didn’t realize he had meant as much to her as she showed him that night on the docks. The tears in her eyes and the way she looked at him just made everything so real. He didn’t ask for it and he didn’t expect it. He thought after Carly that his last chance at real happiness had left with her. He didn’t know something so potent and real was right there in front of him the whole time.

Who knew that Christmas trees and cans of soup could create so much out of the emptiness? He had told Elizabeth once that he was trying to live through something real slow. She made that time fly by. She cushioned him and protected him when he didn’t even know he needed it. No one had ever done that for him before.

The amazing thing was, she did it all because of their friendship and nothing more. There was more beneath the surface, there always was, but it wasn’t concrete. Carly had been there for him, done things for him because she loved him. Robin had always taught and protected him and given him so much for the same reason. But Elizabeth . . . she had no reason for any of it. She didn’t owe him anything. How could he have forgotten that?

Suddenly, the penthouse door opened and Jason turned to find his wife and Carly step in.

"Hey, you’re home," Courtney smiled, walking up to him.

Carly smiled as the two embraced. "I was just talking to Sonny. He said Brenda’s back."

As Jason released Courtney, he raised an eyebrow. He was surprised Sonny had told Carly. But he was glad, too. This was a good sign. "Brenda came to see me," Jason told them.

"Why?" Courtney asked.

"She wanted to let me know she was back and that she didn’t want to depend on me anymore," Jason explained.

"It’s about time. That little leech has taken advantage of you enough. She made you marry her and then tried to ruin my marriage by cheating on Jax and---" Carly stopped abruptly.

Courtney stared at the other blonde. "Carly, are you okay?"

Carly shook her head. "I’m fine, I am just glad Jason is finally rid of that wench."

Jason corrected her, "Brenda’s going to be sticking around. She’s getting a job and a place to live."

Courtney looked at her friend with concern. "Are you going to be okay with that, Carly?"

Carly hesitated. "Sonny and I are closer than ever. We’re getting a new addition to the family," Carly said, rubbing her stomach. "I trust in what we have and I know that Brenda can’t touch us."

Jason sighed as a wrinkle formed on his forehead. He was happy that Carly was finally able to trust Sonny, but after his conversation with Brenda, he wasn’t so convinced things were going to be okay.

"Anyway, I’m going to go back to my penthouse," Carly grinned at Courtney. "See you tomorrow morning."

"Oh, I almost forgot about that party at the Cellar," Courtney replied.

Carly nodded. "My mom is making an announcement with Lucky so the Spencers will all be there. Oh, that reminds me, I have to ask Sonny about a painting we bought from the art auction."

Courtney gave her sister-in-law a hug and let her out before shutting the door behind her. She turned to face her husband who seemed distant. "Speaking of the art auction, I had Marco bring the sketch we bought into the bedroom. I hope you don’t mind."

Jason froze. "Wh-wherever you want to put it. It’s yours."

Courtney smiled, wrapping her arms around him from behind. She didn’t see the stunned look on his face. Kissing his neck, she whispered, "I’m going upstairs."

Jason nodded. "Okay. I’ll meet you up there."

Courtney kissed him on the cheek and headed up the steps. When she reached the top floor, she looked over the banister to catch Jason staring out at the window. She wondered what he was thinking about.

Oh my love, my darling
I hunger for your touch
A long, lonely time

Elizabeth rested on the pillow, trying to fall asleep, but her mind was distracted with voices and memories.

Her husband was asleep inches beside her, but she couldn’t get herself to relax. His rhythmic breathing had filled the room hours ago and she knew he was getting a good night’s sleep. She just couldn’t get herself to do the same.

She kept thinking about Brenda’s words and Jason. The way he looked at her when he walked into the ballroom, the way his eyes darkened when she stepped out of the rain to meet him, the way his gaze trailed her into the hotel after she walked away . . . it all haunted her.

Then there was her husband. The man who made her dreams come true. She had a home, a family, a career, everything she ever wanted.

Suddenly, Jason reached out to her, a moment in the rain when his hand came in contact with her skin and immediately, she felt herself fall back into a feeling that she thought had died so long ago. A long, lonely time ago.

Jason could never give her the life she needed. He didn’t trust her or respect her the way Ric did. She didn’t fit anywhere in his life and she would always be the last person he would think about.

After she found out about Courtney, she kept telling herself, "Jason’s right, you can’t be a part of his life. You aren’t right for each other. His life is too dangerous and he lied to you." But it never really worked. Instead, she tried to find something that DID work. Someone who could make her happy.

She had succeeded in the most part. The pain lessened and her future seemed a little brighter. Ric would never leave her in a penthouse to do "business." He would never set her up to grieve for no reason. He would never make her promises of trying and not keep them. He would never hold her in his arms and pretend they had a chance.

Elizabeth felt her heart ache as she remembered that night they had made promises they knew they couldn’t keep. She had told Jason she could accept his life and he didn’t believe her. She could see it in his eyes. He had told her that he would try and she didn’t really believe him. It turned out, they were both right.

After they made their promises, Elizabeth had come back down the stairs and she saw Jason standing at the terrace, looking up at the night sky. She knew inside that he had said all the right things, but a part of him was missing when he said them. She could tell, even then, that things between them weren’t the same after she slept with Zander. Their bond had weakened and she could see he hadn’t accepted it as much as he pretended to. She just never thought they would be tested so soon. She thought they would have time to overcome it. She thought wrong.

I need your love
I need your love
Godspeed your love to me yeah

Jason touched the glass with his palm, trying to touch a memory that kept surfacing in the back of his mind. After everything that Brenda had said, he wanted to remember the moment when he had given up. The moment when he had let go of his chance with Elizabeth and went for something safe.

Brenda was right. He had needed something safe and something that couldn’t destroy him as much as Elizabeth could. He didn’t think Elizabeth could rip out his heart any more painfully than the night she had chosen Lucky over him. Then he saw her kissing Zander in that studio and he realized she could hurt him so much worse.

During his time away, he had thought a lot about her. He never imagined what it would have been like if she had said yes to his offer because that would have hurt too much and he didn’t really have a knack for what-if’s; but he did think about her. He thought about what she had given him and how much she mattered. He thought about all the reasons why he never fought for her and let her lead him on the way she did. She was the first woman he had ever cared about who kept him in the dark about her own feelings for him.

When he was around her, he was unsure, uncertain and even afraid. He would have never admitted his feelings for her because he couldn’t tell if she would feel the same way. He had never had that problem before and he didn’t know how to deal with that.

He knew he wanted her, there was no question about that. But Carly and Robin had taught him just how much a person can hurt you if you give them your heart. And with Elizabeth, the danger of that was very real. When Lucky came back, she told him about still being in love with Lucky. And then when he returned for the second time, he saw her turn herself into someone she wasn’t for her first love.

The way she loved Lucky was a way he wanted to be loved. The way she fought for their relationship and the way she was so willing to sacrifice for him . . . Jason wanted that for himself. Most of all, the woman who loved Lucky was the woman he wanted to love him. But he couldn’t just tell her how he felt because he knew how much the other man meant to her.

Her love was something that terrified him. He knew that once he had it, he couldn’t let it go. He could see how potent it could be, just by feeling what it was like to lose her friendship. He couldn’t let it happen, so he let his walls protect him. He let go of the chance of loving her because of the pain he would feel when he lost her.

But she held on tight and chased after him. She came to him time after time trying to make him see that what they had was worth trying for. She had promised him freedom in isolated moments. He though the pain was too much to bear, but as soon as she held his hand, he knew he needed her more.

That night on the docks after Kristina Cassadine’s funeral, Jason felt her heart open up to him. That connection they shared overpowered any fears he had. The fighting against what they shared gave way when she reached out for his hand. He knew then that his love for her was stronger than ever. He gave in after that night and he knew his answer would always be "yes". That is, until hers wasn’t.

Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea
To the open arms of the sea

Brenda sat out on the balcony of her hotel room, gazing out to the night sky. She had seen many stars in Europe, but it never seemed the same as it did in Port Charles.

Her life had never been so peaceful. She had a blank canvas ahead of her. She could be whoever she wanted to be and do whatever she decided was right for her. There were no obligations or expectations. There were no people who were counting on her or depending on her. There was no one she had to compromise with or sacrifice for. It was just her, Brenda Barrett.

She thought it might be lonely, but for the first time in her life she liked the independence. No strings and no attachments was a good place to be. She felt free.

Everything was a question mark and every day would be an adventure. Her choices would be hers alone and she would revel in the joys and suffer the disappointments, but they would be HER joys and disappointments, not anyone else’s.

Consoling the cup of tea in her hands, she blew the steam into the night air. It floated in front of her before dissipating into the darkness. Life was fleeting like that. One moment you were on top of the world and the next you were alone and lost. She decided she would no longer let life decide for her.

Starting tomorrow she would find a job and a life along with it. She still had friends she could count on and happiness that had yet been untapped.

She would take the safe route for awhile. She would build a foundation to stand on and then maybe she would take a leap of faith again. For now, she had to find some brick first.

She hadn’t held a job since L&B. She didn’t really want to go back into the music business. Without Lois around, it wouldn’t have been the same anyway. Besides, that was a part of the old Brenda Barrett and she wanted to make a clean break.

Eyeing the phone sitting on the desk on the other side of the French doors, Brenda hesitated. She could always call Robin and ask for her help. Robin was her best friend, a great listener and the one person she knew who would encourage her unconditionally.

Turning back towards the skyline, Brenda resolved that she wouldn’t. She needed to do this on her own. Make her own mistakes and find her own solutions. She couldn’t lean on Robin anymore than she could let herself lean on a man.

Brenda smiled to herself as she remembered her conversation with Jason. That boy was still very confused, but she knew some of what she said had gotten through to him. In a way, Jason was like a brother to her. It had lasted since he was Jason Quartermaine. She wanted the best for him even if she didn’t always show it. She knew that the best couldn’t be found in his current marriage.

She had watched him carefully as they spoke. She could see the way his eyes would glow and darken and glisten with every mention of Elizabeth. She had never seen anyone so affected by a name. It was obvious to her that whatever they shared, it had been powerful and deeper than Jason would admit to himself.

She knew what running away was like and she promised she would never do it again. She wouldn’t let him do it either. She knew that look in his eyes because she used to see it in her own reflections. It was a look of confusion and frustration mixed with fear and loss. For Jason it was much more intense because he did a better job of hiding his feelings than she did. She could tell he had been utilizing that trait well lately.

"It won’t work, Jason," she mumbled to herself. "You can run, but you can’t hide."

Placing down the teacup, she walked barefoot off of the balcony into her room. Crawling under the sheets, she closed her eyes and faced towards the doors. She didn’t want to turn and feel the empty space beside her. If she did, she might let herself dream. Smoldering dark eyes would never let her sleep and she needed her rest if she wanted to start a life without him.

Lonely rivers sigh wait for me, wait for me
I'll be coming home, wait for me

Sonny Corinthos settled the phone back on its cradle. It was well past midnight and the dark circles under his eyes betrayed his lack of rest. He was troubled by the news of new threats entering his territory. He was getting older and these problems weighed heavier with him each year.

He could remember when he had just begun to run this business. He had been driven by the rush, the power and the danger that came with it. He had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Then came Brenda.

Sonny poured himself a drink, staring at the crystal decanter. She gave him something to lose and boy did she know how to make him feel it.

Even when she betrayed him, the worst sin of all, he still couldn’t resist her. He pushed her away, exploited the feelings he knew she felt for him and yet, he couldn’t let go. She was in his blood . . . literally.

He would never forget the nights she had spent by his bedside after he was shot trying to bust Frank Smith out of prison. It was then that he knew their flirtation was going to become something more.

He had done his best to shield her from his life but when she found out, it only made things worse that he hadn’t told her. She got hurt more times than he could count but she stayed with him anyway.

He would never forget their first adventure in Puerto Rico. He smiled knowing that she remembered it too. If only they could have just bottled those moments up and things had stayed the way they were. But real life had a way of making sure you didn’t get everything you wanted. For Sonny it was either power or Brenda and, in the end, he was the big boss in a black suit in his lonely tower.

Walking past the family photo sitting on his desk, his eyes narrowed. Except he wasn’t alone anymore. Carly had crashed into his life with her stubborn fire and hadn’t let go since. She had given him a family and a chance at a future. He could have both with Carly: the business and the life.

Touching her face in the photograph with his thumb, he reflected on their conversation just an hour before. He had explained Brenda’s return to her and he could tell she was analyzing his every word and expression. He wished he could say she had nothing to worry about but he also knew she could tell if he lied.

Brenda and him were never going to be over. Time and space could not separate their bond and he knew he would still see her face when he died. But perhaps now he’d also see Carly and his two sons beside her. His life was no longer so empty.

Brenda was everything to him when he didn’t have much. He had a handful of friends and a career in crime, but Brenda filled that gaping hole where family and love was supposed to exist. Now he had Michael and Carly to fill that place and soon Morgan would too. He wondered how three people still couldn’t replace or push Brenda out of his mind.

Oh my love
Oh my darlin’, I hunger for your love
A long lonely time

Elizabeth traced the stars with her hand on the glass looking out to the night sky. She closed her eyes and imagined what it was like to feel like you could touch the stars. It didn’t work.

She tried to recapture that feeling but she knew that without Jason, it didn’t exist. Freedom the way Jason had showed her did not exist without him. In its place was pure black, a blank canvas that was safe because it was untouched. You couldn’t feel the pain of losing something if you don’t have it in the first place. Ric gave her that. The safety of knowing that he could never hurt her in the way Jason could.

Safe. That word seemed so terrible on its own. She had never chosen the safe route and yet she always did. Her life had been endangered more times than she could count . . . but her heart? Not as long as she could do something about it. Run away, make the wrong choice, push away, walk away . . . it was always for a reason.

It was like starving yourself of something, trying to fill it up with something else that was "healthier" for you. No matter how much you had of what was "safe" and what was "healthy" it would never equal the thrill of trying something that was "bad for you."

Elizabeth scolded herself. How could she be thinking of things like this tonight? Her husband had just pulled off her biggest showing ever and all she could think about was someone else. It wasn’t fair to him and it wasn’t fair of her. Ric loved her and love was never safe. He believed in her and made her dreams come true. She couldn’t turn her back on that.

Ric was her present and future. Her past would have to stay there and she had to get a grip before she did something stupid. Like say his name aloud.

Elizabeth remembered that she had to get up early the next day for an engagement that the Spencers were holding. Lucky had invited her and even though Ric had work, she had agreed to go.

Elizabeth stood up and wrapped the robe around herself. She suddenly felt really drowsy. Stepping slowly towards the stairs, she grabbed the wall. Her legs felt unsteady suddenly. Afraid of falling, she turned instead towards the couch. Managing to cross the room to the sofa, she collapsed into it. She decided it had been a long night and she hadn’t been sleeping well lately.

"Sleep," she whispered to herself. Closing her eyes, she told herself that sleep was all she needed. As if sleep would erase everything she felt at that moment. Maybe for a little while, but in the morning she would have to face it again.

And time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?

Time. Jason decided that was what had changed; it was the only thing that had changed between him and Elizabeth. He was still in her world and she was still in his. His feelings were still there and maybe hers were too. The connection hadn’t disappeared. It lay dormant for awhile letting time pass them by, but it never went away.

He had felt it every once in awhile in those moments when he wasn’t trying so hard. That minute before his eyes closed at night and that moment in the morning between consciousness and dreams. Dreams he never had before her. It was those times that he seemed to forget she was gone. It was hard to rationalize or pretend when your eyes couldn’t even stay open.

He was never a man who needed much sleep but he realized that lying took a lot out of a person; it was especially hard on one who wasn’t used to doing it.

Jason took one last look at twilight and then stepped back into his living room. Shutting the French doors, he walked back into the shadows. Courtney must have been wondering where he was. He rubbed his forehead. He didn’t really have the energy to explain it to her even though he knew she deserved it.

He loved her and had promised that he would never leave her. It wasn’t fair of him to change. Biting his lower lip, he paused. A ghost had said that to him once. He agreed. It was never fair to change.

Across town on the docks of Banister’s Wharf, two figures stood in the moonlight. Both cloaked by the shadows against the glowing white light, they huddled closely, each watching out for any intruders.

"I did what you said," the first person said to the other. "Now what?"

"Now we wait and see what happens. That sketch was the perfect touch," the second figure commented.

The first nodded. "It was a good idea. It definitely affected them. How did you know?"

"I know her," the second explained. "I knew how she would react."

"But I never thought he would," the first murmured. "He seemed so cold and distant before."

"Things change," the second replied. "And some things never do."

The first raised an eyebrow, wondering about the cryptic response.

"So Phase One is completed," the second said. "The next step is tomorrow at the Cellar."

The first sneered, "I know. You don’t have to remind me."

"Just do what you’re told and you’ll stay safe," the second threatened.

"Fine," the first retorted. "But just know that I think what you’re doing is wrong. And if it backfires, don’t blame it on me."

"It will work," the second said firmly. "You just worry about your end of the deal. I’ll worry about the outcome."

"Why are you doing this anyway?" the first questioned.

"Because I know how life works. You think you know someone and then they turn out to be something completely different," the second remarked. "The clock is ticking for them both."

The sun had risen in Port Charles and consciousness was sweeping the city. The shadows began to fade as light filtered through the buildings. Most were preparing breakfast or on their way to work. It was still quiet outside except for the wind and the birds in the trees. It was a typical morning for the small town . . . at least, that was how it seemed.

All this time it's been on my mind
But I never said it
Went along like I did no wrong
But now I regret it

Should've probably listened more
Held your hand and opened doors
I've been taking you for granted
But I swear I never meant it

Sonny Corinthos stood over the pan in front of him, recognizing that his efforts were wasted. He knew his wife would simply grab a donut at Kelly’s before the reception at The Cellar and the Spanish omelet would just sit coldly in the refrigerator before being dumped out with the takeout boxes. But that was not where his mind was occupied. Instead, it was at the morning paper spread across the kitchen counter.

He shook his head, thinking to himself that the paparazzi were relentless even in a small town like Port Charles. Staring back at him were the twinkling eyes of local celebrity, Brenda Barrett, returned from her exploits in Europe. He laughed bitterly at the way the article described Brenda. As if her life were measured by her positions at L&B and Deception or even by her failed attempts at matrimony. Sonny knew Brenda. The essence of who she was could not be found on any IRS form.

But how he had come to know the deepest parts of her soul still darkened the pigment of his eyes. The smile on the cover page of the Port Charles Herald was not what filled his memories. Instead, it was the wet hot tears that scorched pieces of her soul as he exposed her weaknesses and broke her spirit. That was what he remembered.

For all the joy they shared when they fell in love, he had taken it away tenfold as he ripped apart her life one piece at a time. He was poison to her and he knew it. He had destroyed her life more times than any person deserved and here he stood in his fortress with a wife and two sons while she was lost and alone, having to rebuild her life again from scratch.

He had apologized, but he never let her know how truly sorry he was. He had tried to explain it away, but he had made many wrong choices when it came to her. Choices that he worked hard to correct in his brand new life. He loved, lost and learned. All it cost was her dignity.

He tightened his grip on the spatula in his hand. Why was this bothering him now? She had forgiven him, even told him that she had understood. It shouldn’t matter to him when it didn’t seem to matter to her anymore.

The sunlight peaked through the shuttered windows and left looming shadows over the kitchen walls. He gazed at the shimmering light in deep thought. Maybe that was the problem. She didn’t seem phased by it anymore. The torture they put themselves through seemed to have taken away the piece of her that cared. In place of it was a hole that held no hope or expectation. She seemed to have accepted that she would always end up alone.

He knew he would pay for hurting her the rest of his life, but she had paid first.

At the Port Charles Hotel, Brenda Barrett woke up with the sun. She had managed a few hours of sleep, but the calm of being in a small town had made those few hours seem like ten. She immediately showered and dressed in her most sophisticated outfit, deciding that she would start her new life by looking for a job. The clean-cut lines and delicately placed buttons reflected back at her as she scrutinized her appearance. Life was opportunities waiting to be seized and she would be ready to grab them in sensible pumps and perfectly coifed hair.

Looking past the full-length mirror to the balcony, she remembered the wandering thoughts of the night before. Dwelling on the past would not do, she scolded herself. Soulful brown eyes that saw right into her very being had no place in her brand new life. She would refuse herself another thought of him and start living the present instead of the past. She had resigned herself to the knowledge that he would inhabit her soul forever, but she would no longer let that be a burden.

Wanted many times to apologize
But it often went unsaid
Got to figure out how to tell you now
What's been going through my head

Sorry
Not an easy word to say
But I'm worried if I don't you'll walk away

At Harborview Towers, Jason Morgan awoke finding himself facing the problems he tried to forget. He watched as his wife slept through the alarm. Seeing her so peaceful, he felt racked with guilt over his wandering mind.

He had spent most of the night going over what he had done that put him in the very position he was in now. Married to a woman he loved but wasn’t in love with. Even worse, standing by as the woman he was in love with lived life without him.

Seeing Elizabeth the night before had reminded him of all the times he had taken her for granted. Simple things like the way she laughed or brushed her hair behind her ear. That special smile that wasn’t an act seemed to have disappeared. He didn’t even know what it looked like anymore.

When he watched her at her premiere, he secretly hoped that this milestone for her career would bring out that smile again. Instead, he saw her trademark smirk that seemed to fool everyone into thinking she was happy. All he wanted to do was scream at them, "Can’t you SEE? Can’t you see how she’s dying inside? LOOK!"

He shouldn’t have been noticing her at all. He would catch himself staring at her instead of listening to what Courtney or Carly were saying. He would instantly feel guilty and try and focus, but would soon find himself watching her again.

He had berated himself for not having the self-control to pay attention to his wife, but nothing seemed to work. He didn’t want to admit it, but he had stayed behind in the hopes that he could tell Elizabeth personally how happy he was for her. He wanted to tell her that she deserved to show the world what she could do. Sonny, Carly and Courtney would never understand what he knew about Elizabeth’s passion for her art. They wouldn’t understand why he couldn’t say it in front of other people, not even them.

In a moment of weakness, seeing her face drenched in rainwater, he had let her back in. She was taunting him with her wide-eyed glances and delicate smiles. He felt guilty for not being strong enough to will her memory away when his wife was sleeping beside him.

He prided himself in being loyal and honest. He never had such trouble keeping promises. He had sacrificed before, but never really understood what it meant, what it cost. He had given up Michael, Carly, Robin and Elizabeth. This time he had given up his whole life. That was what marriage was, wasn’t it? Promising your life to someone else. What happened when it was the wrong someone else? Jason felt Courtney start to wake up and he took a deep breath, hoping that this day would bring him the strength he needed to forget.

In the back of his mind, there was a woman waiting for him in the rain. The one he still owed so many apologies and so many regrets; feelings and actions that he never felt until he felt her.

Elizabeth awoke the next morning, feeling slightly noxious and dizzy. She realized that the excitement of the night before had taken a toll on her already nervous state. She stretched her aching limbs but was surprised to find herself on the living room couch instead of her bed. Why was she downstairs?

As she pulled up her blanket, she started to remember how she had come down to gaze at the stars. To think. She didn’t dare voice his name, even in her mind, because she had sworn to herself the night before that it was over. She would not let herself fall into that trap. It was a game she knew by heart and never wanted to play again. Ric handed her the world and loved her more than any man ever had. He had faith in her and trusted her with his demons and his strengths. She couldn’t ask for a more loving and devoted husband. How could she even be thinking of someone else?

"Elizabeth," a voice called out from the stairs.

Elizabeth looked up to find Ric in his robe, taking the steps two at a time. "Morning," she mumbled softly.

"What are you doing down here, sleepyhead?" he asked, his voice slightly concerned.

"I couldn’t sleep. I was going to paint, but then I started to nod off, so I just slept on the couch," Elizabeth lied.

"The excitement of last night’s incredible success too much for you?" Ric laughed, giving her a kiss.

Elizabeth smiled, snuggling into his arms. "That’s probably it."

"I have a meeting with Bobbie Spencer in twenty minutes. Looks like I overslept," Ric chuckled.

"You and me both," Elizabeth said. "I promised Lucky that I would help him set up for the luncheon. I still can’t believe Bobbie’s going to you. Carly hates your guts."

"Yes, well, that’s all in the past and all of us have moved on," Ric said. "Bobbie may not trust me but I am a damn good lawyer."

"Yes you are," Elizabeth grinned, kissing him softly.

Ric withdrew hesitantly from his wife. "Okay, I better leave before I have to cancel this meeting entirely and spend the morning with you."

Elizabeth laughed at his flirtatious expression and pulled together the blanket around her. "All right. "

"I’ll head over to The Cellar as soon as the meeting is over," Ric promised.

Elizabeth watched as her husband walked out the door. It was comfortable to be here, she thought, taking in her surroundings. Being a wife to Ric was a comfortable place to be.

Things would be okay, she assured herself. She would just have to forget the encounter with Jason and everything would be okay.

A few hours later at The Cellar, a small crowd was in the club awaiting the announcement from Bobbie Spencer and her nephew. There were a few reporters mixed in with family and friends as lunch was served and chatter filled the air.

"I don’t really know what Bobbie intends to say," Elizabeth said calmly to a local reporter. "You’ll just have to wait and see."

She walked quickly past and bumped into none other than Carly Corinthos. "Excuse me," Elizabeth muttered, but Carly had her by the arm.

Carly hissed, "Jason is going to be here any minute. You stay away from him. He’s a married man and last time I checked you have a husband of your own."

Elizabeth glared at Carly but decided that part of letting go was to not let Carly bait her into these arguments. "No problem," Elizabeth replied calmly, and she walked away.

Carly stared after Elizabeth curiously. She looked up just in time to see Courtney and Jason trail down the steps into the club. She raised an eyebrow as Elizabeth passed right by the couple without a second glance. Carly couldn’t believe it. Elizabeth had never listened to her before. What had changed?

"I got you some orange juice," Sonny smiled, handing his wife a glass.

"What, did they run out of milk?" Carly smirked, turning her attention to her husband.

"Robert wouldn’t let me touch it. Said that you were running low and needed it for the party tonight," Sonny explained.

"Speaking of White Russians . . ." Carly mumbled as Stefan Cassadine entered the club.

"Do you know what this announcement is about?" Sonny asked, dismissing the Cassadine’s presence.

Carly shook her head. "She just asked to use the club. She wouldn’t tell me anything else."

"I am sure you gave her a hard time about that," Sonny laughed, putting his arm around his wife, resting his palm on her stomach.

Carly suddenly pulled away, excusing herself to do some work. "I think I’ll head back to the kitchen and see if my mom needs anything."

As Carly hustled to the stairs, Sonny’s eyes narrowed at her departing figure.

Jason walked up to the mob boss with concern. "Did she pull away again?" he asked his boss.

Sonny nodded solemnly. "She’s been acting stranger than normal ever since those kidnappers let her go."

Jason nodded, acknowledging the change in Carly. "I don’t buy her story about the kidnappers deciding it was too much trouble and let her come home."

Sonny leaned against the bar, tilting his head. "She’s been distant. She won’t even tell me what happened. She keeps saying she was blindfolded the whole time and that they never spoke to her. But it was almost a month she was gone, Jason. It doesn’t make any sense. She’s hiding something, I just know it."

"Who can understand how Carly thinks? Maybe she was telling the truth. Maybe the kidnappers were scared away when we cooperated with the FBI," Jason suggested.

"I still think he had something to do with it," Sonny said, gesturing to his brother who had just stepped through the door.

Jason growled under his breath. "But we have no proof and Carly insisted it wasn’t him."

"Damn it, I wish Carly would just tell me the truth. What is she so afraid of?" Sonny asked.

"Good afternoon, Sonny," Ric Lansing smirked as he walked up to the two men. "Jason," he acknowledged.

Jason glared at the other man but did not reply.

"What are you doing here, Ric?" Sonny questioned. "You know you aren’t allowed into my wife’s club."

Ric laughed arrogantly. "I was invited by your wife’s mother. She has an announcement to make today and she has me on retainer."

"No, you’re here to make trouble," Sonny replied.

Ric shrugged. "I’ve moved on. I have a wife and a successful career."

"That didn’t stop you from accusing me of throwing Elizabeth down a flight of stairs," Sonny reminded him.

Ric’s jaw twitched before he replied. "Elizabeth and I have started a new life together and any old grudges aren’t important anymore."

Jason stepped between the two men and scowled at Ric. "Then why are you standing here, Ric? No one here wants to talk to you."

"Maybe your brain-damaged mind can’t comprehend this but I am trying to make polite conversation with my BROTHER," Ric responded.

Before Ric could blink, Jason had him against the wall, an arm against his throat. "I can COMPREHEND that you are a lying little suck-up."

"Jason!" Elizabeth shouted, seeing him assault her husband.

Jason flinched, hearing her voice. Slowly, he released Ric, but maintained his threatening glare.

Elizabeth ran up to Ric, stroking his face with her hand. "Are you okay?"

Ric coughed slightly, trying to regain his oxygen supply, but smiled calmly. "I’m fine. We just had a little misunderstanding."

Elizabeth saw the look in Ric’s eyes and recognized the taunting look he was giving Jason. It sparked a memory in the shadows of her mind. Another man had that same look long ago and it warned her that there was more than met the eye.

"Whatever happened, Elizabeth, Jason wasn’t the one who started it," Courtney said, approaching them after seeing the brawl from across the room. "Your husband takes every chance he gets to annoy my brother and cause trouble for our family."

Elizabeth flinched inwardly, hearing Courtney call Jason her family. "I know," Elizabeth said.

Jason looked at her in shock. This was the last thing he expected her to say.

Ric turned to his wife with his own surprised look. "Elizabeth, are you defending this man for attacking me?"

Elizabeth turned to Ric with a smirk. "I thought you said it was just a misunderstanding?"

Sonny grinned at that remark. Like many men who crossed her path, Ric underestimated Elizabeth’s ability to think for herself.

"It was," Ric sputtered, "but that doesn’t mean you should be condoning Jason’s barbaric behavior."

Elizabeth crossed her arms. "Would it have been more civilized for him to not say anything while secretly planning his revenge? Maybe he should make someone you care about think they slept with a man they hate and then blackmail her to get to you? Would THAT have been better?"

Ric’s jaw dropped. "Elizabeth, what are you--?"

"I didn’t think so," Elizabeth said, cutting him off. She stalked off to the exit leaving Ric staring after her.

"Aren’t you going to go after her?" Carly said to Ric, walking in on the last part of the argument.

Ric shook his head. "She’s upset. She’ll calm down and realize that she had no reason to be mad at me."

Sonny laughed. "I hope your career is REALLY successful, because pretty soon, that’ll be all you have left."

Ric glared at his brother and quickly headed towards the exit, turning one last glance at Carly. "I hope your baby is doing well, Carly. I wouldn’t want any complications this late in your pregnancy."

Sonny’s jaw clenched but he didn’t go after Ric. "Is Bobbie coming down anytime soon?" Sonny asked his wife, his voice tense.

Carly nodded. "We just have a few last-minute details to take care of." She turned to Jason. "There’s an amplifier for the sound system near the kitchen area. Could you do me a favor and get it for me?"

Jason nodded and headed up the stairs.

Sonny faced his wife and asked, "Why didn’t you have Robert do it?"

Carly shook her head, "He’s busy with the cook and preparing for the special event tonight."

Sonny nodded. "Okay, just as long as he’s doing his job and not making you work too hard."

Carly smiled, leaning into her husband’s arms. "I’m fine, Sonny. You just worry about being a good father when your baby boy arrives in a few weeks."

Sonny grinned. "No problem." As he kissed his wife on the cheek, a figure moving across the room and caught his eye.

Carly’s body stiffened slightly at the sight of the new guest.

Reporters buzzed and attention quickly turned to the late arrival. Brenda Barrett grinned bravely as the cameras flashed and the questions began. This would always be her life. The spotlight was the place she knew best. She had hoped she could move on from that. But right now, her efforts weren’t to avoid the reporters, it was to avoid the man staring at her from across the room.

And there's just no way that I can live
Unless I know that you'll forgive
Sorry
Baby, I'm so, so sorry

Girl, I'm hoping it's not too late
I cross my fingers, cross my heart

I'm about to change my ways

Upstairs, Elizabeth Lansing was pacing the empty diner, waiting for her husband to come up the stairs and apologize. Instead, she looked up to find Jason Morgan walking through the doors instead. "Jason," she said, surprised to see him.

"Look, I---"

Elizabeth interrupted quickly, "I know, you thought I would jump to conclusions and automatically think it was your fault."

Jason nodded, surprised that Elizabeth understood his uncertainty.

"I never really apologized for that, did I?" Elizabeth murmured.

Jason paused. "You don’t owe me any apologies."

"I’ll apologize just the same," she replied. "I’m sorry I never believed you when you told me Lucky had attacked you with a knife on the docks. I couldn’t see past the Lucky I knew. I should have known better."

Jason’s eyes widened. He didn’t expect her to even remember that, let alone apologize to him. "That was a long time ago. I understood why you couldn’t believe that the man you-- the man you loved was capable of that."

She looked up. "Why not? Why couldn’t I believe that but I could believe my best friend could viciously attack someone I care about for no reason? And then I practically accused you of being jealous. I knew what kind of man you were, Jason and I knew you would never do anything like that."

"You don’t have to defend how you feel or what you believe, Elizabeth," he persisted. "Besides, it’s in the past and I never held it against you."

"So I shouldn’t hold myself responsible for failing you as a friend?" Elizabeth asked. "I lost faith in you, Jason. That’s unforgivable."

"There’s nothing to forgive, Elizabeth," Jason insisted.

"No, it’s nothing you CAN forgive," Elizabeth answered, her voice suddenly still. "That’s what happened when I walked out your penthouse door, wasn’t it? I made the same mistake again. I convinced myself that you lied to me and that I didn’t matter to you. I should have known better. What you’ve done for me, how you’ve protected me and cared about me . . . it showed me that I mattered to you even if you couldn’t say it."

"You did matter to me, Elizabeth, but I showed you differently when I didn’t tell you about Sonny’s plan. I didn’t understand that at the time, but I see it now," Jason explained.

"Because you have someone important in your life, someone who deserves to be told everything, right?" Elizabeth asked.

Jason stared at her, not wanting to say "yes" even if it was the truth.

"It’s okay," Elizabeth said, giving him an excuse not to answer. "I think finding Ric showed me how wrong I was, too. I learned the difference between lying and not telling the truth. It’s amazing how appalled I was at what you did, but yet I was able to forgive Ric for what he’d done to Carly and to me."

Jason’s eyes filled with concern. Where was all this coming from?

"I never learn. That’s always been my biggest problem," Elizabeth said. "I try, really I do. I do things differently hoping that it will change the ending, but it never does."

Jason watched as she stood up from the chair. She wavered slightly and his arm instinctively reached out to balance her. "Are you okay?"

Elizabeth pulled away immediately and shook her head. "No, but I’m going to keep trying until I am," she smiled. Then she walked outside, deciding once and for all, she would stop leaning on other people and stand on her own.

Starting with this one word
Promise I'm gonna stay around
No more hanging out

Let's reunite, I'll make it right
Cuz I need you in my life

Meanwhile, the crowd grew restless in the club below.

"Sonny, why didn’t you tell me Brenda was back in town?" A.J. Quartermaine whispered, smiling as he saw the scowl on Carly’s face. "She’s just the most beautiful woman in the room, don’t you think?"

Sonny glared as A.J. walked towards the crowd surrounding Brenda. "Are you okay with this?" he asked his wife.

Carly nodded. "Princess Brenda can prance around all she wants as long as she understands this is MY club."

Sonny’s lips firmed into a straight line. He had a feeling Carly wasn’t marking her territory on just the club.

"Carly, I need you to get me some papers from the kitchen upstairs while I finish setting up these tables," Bobbie called to her daughter.

Carly kissed Sonny on the cheek and went up the stairs. She turned around midway, surprised to find Sonny’s attention on something other than his pregnant wife on an old stairway. Her eyes saddened as she followed his gaze.

Sonny smiled as Brenda looked over at him. She mouthed a plea for help and he walked through the crowd towards her. "Excuse me. I don’t think my wife would appreciate you hassling a guest at her club," Sonny warned the over-eager reporters.

The crowd backed away as Brenda finally made it past the group of people. She cursed herself for not sticking to her pledge to stay away from Sonny. "Thanks, Sonny," she said quickly. she brushed past him as she headed to the other side of the room where the Quartermaines stood.

Sorry for the times I didn't realize
That holding back my feelings brought tears to your eyes

Sorry for the times I didn't understand
A simple word that you deserved
Could make me a better man

Sonny watched her, noting the hasty tone in her voice. He caught up with her quickly and reached out to grab her arm. "I’m sorry," he said softly.

Brenda’s eyes widened as she turned around slowly. "What did you just say?"

Sonny smiled. "I said I’m sorry."

"What for?" Brenda asked, surprised by his apology.

"For everything that’s happened this past year. With Alcazar and Jason and whatever role I played in your wedding with Jax," he replied. Really, he had so much more to apologize for. He had to apologize for never being the man she deserved. Never being the man strong enough to face her before he tore her life apart. Never being the man strong enough to love her.

"I-I told you, Sonny. I forgive you," Brenda reminded him. She blushed as she remembered their kiss on the docks.

"I didn’t apologize for that kiss," he said, reading her mind. "I know that was why Jax called off your wedding. You didn’t deserve that. Not twice."

"No one deserves it, Sonny," she replied. "Not once." And something stirred inside her heart. A memory of what it felt like when she thought she was finally going to be happy and then in a split second, finding out that it was all gone. That was enough to remind her why she was avoiding him.

Sonny watched as her eyes pulled away. He quickly replied, "And it was my fault. If there’s anything---"

"No, there isn’t anything I need from you Sonny. I told you that," Brenda said, reaffirming her goal to stay away from him. "I’m fine. In fact, I’m more than fine."

Sonny raised an eyebrow, deciding to change the subject. "Do you have something to do with this big announcement Bobbie is making?"

Brenda answered mysteriously. "I can tell you it’s nothing bad." He was getting too close, she could almost feel the heat that was coming off of him. She turned quickly, "Well, I’m going to go see if Bobbie needs anything. Goodbye, Sonny."

"Brenda," Sonny said just loud enough for her to hear.

A shiver ran down her spine at the way her name crossed his lips. This was what she was afraid of. That fire that seemed to light whenever they got too close. Despite her fears and promises to herself, she turned to face him anyway. "Yes?" she said, putting on her bravest front of indifference.

He leaned closer as he said quietly, "This is a promise I’m making you right now." He reached slowly for her hand, softening the fist that it formed. As he opened her palm with his hands he whispered, "I know how I’ve hurt you and I know what it cost you to love me. I give you my word on this . . . you don’t have to carry around this umbrella anymore."

Her breath caught in her throat and she felt all her walls come tumbling down.

Sorry for all the times I made you cry
For all the times I told you lies
All the times I wasn't fair
For all these things, yeah
I can’t live
Unless I know you'll forgive me
Baby, I'm so, so, sorry

Jason looked around the entire restaurant and couldn’t find the amplifier that Carly had sent him up to find. It was just as well. He was in no shape to be dealing with crowds of busybodies and gossiping stares. He didn’t even want to come but Carly and Courtney had insisted. Sonny had nothing for him to do and he had no excuses of his own.

He looked back towards the diner and all he could see was the sad look on Elizabeth’s face. If only he knew the right words to say to make it disappear. To have, instead, the warm smile that he remembered and the twinkling eyes that always seemed to brighten his world.

He knew he had played a part in putting that darkness in her life. He had left it behind after he walked out on her. Maybe not the way she walked out of his penthouse, but he had left her alone just the same. In his efforts to keep her safe, he had sent Ric Lansing to take his place in her life. A rapist and a psychopath.

Jason never admitted to his mistakes. He couldn’t lie, but he sure could avoid admitting the truth. Elizabeth was the one truth he could never say aloud. He had messed up with her more than anyone in his short life. When he let her into his life, he had put her in the center of his world. That included the danger and the risks that came with knowing him. But when he let her go, he never let her leave that world. Instead, she was alone without him to protect her from the Ric Lansings and the Alcazars.

It was unfair of him. He did things that he believed were right to protect her, but he never let her do the same for him. She had asked only one thing of him and that was to love her. To make her someone who mattered. To be someone he missed if she ever left. To respect her and trust her. He had failed her. He let her go, made her an afterthought and treated her like someone who was dispensable. He never treated her the one way he was supposed to.

There was so much she had given him. She was everything he believed in. Trust, loyalty, kindness, strength . . . she held it all. More than that, he showed her what it meant to love someone, to truly love someone to a point where it didn’t matter if she loved him back. He never wanted anything so badly when he knew that he couldn’t have it. He was the king of cutting his losses.

Standing in that empty kitchen, he realized something. He couldn’t cut her out of his life no matter how much he tried. How do you cut out your own heart?

He looked out towards the empty diner one last time. For the first time, he felt the meaning of regret. He understood what it was to feel sorry.